worth a 1000 words

my friend will sent me this:










And I retaliate with this:

that’s me hanging out in Bruno’s cube

today will invited me to hang out on a dalnet channel, called #concrete, and this whole business of cams came up.

i was lamenting because i never really saw myself as being photogenic, and i think, overall, the idea that someone can sit there watching me eat my cheerios drives me nuts. it’s like, i have a hard time with justin being in the same room when i take a piss, so why would i want to announce it to the world?

it’s becoming a phenomenon though, due to the popularity of cu-see me sites. i don’t know, I’m still ambivalent about it. the idea seem’s cool, but, knowing how quickly i bore of things, i will probably move on to something else. plus i don’t think i would be all that entertaining.

fiction baby

last night, while i was browsing the web, i had remembered reading about a place that specialized in on-line journaling. I feel somewhat compelled to go there, as I have had a voice on the web since 1995. However, my attempt, now three years later to get in the game of on-line journaling, is being overshadowed by slick design and not a lot of content by other competitors.

however, i have realized that there are many people who can write articulately, and have something interesting to say. my friend jane is one such person.

but anyway, i found a another place that specialized in on-line journaling, also allowing people to create on-line journals, with the sake of anonymity, and also not having to worry about design, concept, and other such things. they just write, for the sake of writing.

while browsing around, i found that they held a slam contest, which is now all the rage with the lit world. intrigued, i read more on how to participate, and found it was fairly simple. the creatrix of the website presents a image, and you write based on that image. 1000 words or less please.

compelled, inspired, whatever; i wrote. my story, which i had to chop out 1000 words. I have presented both the abridged and unabridgedversion. Do be warned however, the unabridged story is not complete, nor has it been formatted in html or spell checked. I like the unabridged version better, and I will probably continue writing the story tonight when I get home from work.

my entrance into the art of short story writing prompted me to update Tripping on Stars, my anthology of all the on-line versions of my work. I have created a new category, called appropriately enough, ‘short stories’, which will host all the fiction crap i write.

i haven’t written any short stories in years, mostly dealing with i didn’t have the patience. my big concern (and now, don’t laugh), has always been with names: I could never think of names of my characters. last night it was pretty simple coming up with names, as justin and i have created fictional characters for ourselves. He’s Panama Jack, and I’m Virginia Slim, Ms. Slim to you. Unfortunately, since Virginia Slim happens to also be a trade marked name, our little shticks that Justin and I do have to be done in person or on IRC.

Carrying over our on-line shticks to real life has been really interesting, since we are both lovers of J.D. Salinger and F. Scott Fitzgerald, we end up doing these shticks based on the characters that those authors have created, namely Franny & Zooey, and Zelda & Scott, respectively.

On IRC, Justin and I would go for long periods of time just making up scenes and characters, to the bewilderment and amusement of those on the channel. This creation of characters included Jackie the Pumpkin (also known as Justin’s first wife), Harold the farm boy (also Justin’s ex-lover) and many others. He and I would sit giggling for hours just playing along, and no one would get what the fuck we were talking about.

That was always okay. We basically didn’t give a shit or not, because we got it and that is all that was important.

Justin is also wonderful because he has a mind like a girl. He’s not effeminate, gay or hell, even bi, but he knows how a girl thinks, and he also has good taste. he’s the best girlfriend a girl could have, and the wonderful thing is, he has a cock. Justin and I have decreed that i finally became a lesbian, since i’m fucking my best girlfriend. how many other men do you know that can sit with a female and talk to her about men, pms, clothes, make-up and is either not gay or afraid?

not many i would assume.

many of my friends have been concerned with the age gap (7 years), and it bothered me as well for awhile. but i realized love really doesn’t know age, race, creed or religion, it just is.

i don’t think about his age anymore, excuse me, i should say obsess with it. i’ve come to terms with the fact i will always be older than him, but since i look so damn young for being 26, and he looks older than 19, it’ll work. Justin’s life, which would make a therapist rich, has wonderfully made him more wise then his years. the big difference, was especially when my brother, who is also 19 was living with me, and seeing my brother act like a boy of 19 and justin acted at least 10 years older was amazing. you can’t always assume because of one’s age that they are mentally that age. watching my brother and justin interact taught me that much.

i love justin, and i love him very much. it’s been especially hard with me because i can’t always accept a person as they are: i have a habit of changing them. but i can’t do that with justin. i don’t know if he’s the one, hell, i’ve thought damn near every boy i’ve dated was the one, and i don’t want to muddy my relationship with justin thinking that. i just want to love him in the here and now, and not worry about the future. it’s really nice, being with someone who knows all your secrets, who accepts you for you and gives you the freedom to do what you want. as stated, since justin is barely legal, and i’m prone to go drinking and dancing, he doesn’t give a rats ass that i do things without him. he’s said, and i quote “as long as you come home to me, i don’t care”. he doesn’t question me, like Danny, if i’m late getting home from work, or if i make other plans without him. he understands that, while living together, i don’t need to spend every waking hour with him. but i do anyway. justin gives the best hugs. being 6’8″ must have a lot to do with that.

as always, i’m looking at the clock and now i’m late for work. a part of me doesn’t care, it just feels good to be writing again, and branching off into other area’s that i haven’t explored before. Jeffwas wrong: love is unconditional.

it feels good in my mind, that i can say these four words and not cringe anymore:
i am a writer.

search me baby

as we speak, i am in the process of adding myself to search engines on the net. on the san francisco webgrrls mailing list, there was a big conversation about how long it takes yahoo! to index their site, including submissions to them. The period that was so bothersome was that it took anywhere from two weeks to six months to get a site listed. I did a search on my name, lisa m. rabey, and i came up as the first hit. i felt oddly pleased about it.

i’m still waiting for spell checker to download to my home machine. there is something delicious about sitting on a t3 at work, but at home i’m waiting for hell to freeze over to before i can download the damn thing at 28.8.

I’ve pulled myself up several search engines, but, it has to do with the archiving of all the damn mailing lists i’ve been on. only yahoo pulled me up as myself in the first 10, others, I had to keep scrolling to the next page to get more info on myself.

since i’ve become addicted to keeping this page updated on a more timely manner (amazingly, I’ve been updating about once every other day), and i think of new and interesting things to say (i’m so witty, oh so witty), that i need to be indexed properly to gain more exposure.

a cool tool i found, was this search engine that keeps track of all the major competitors and what they are doing. going to this site enables me to add myself to their indexing, to let robots crawl all over my site and basically rate me in order of meta tags.

i love meta tags.
i won’t work without them.
thus far, i’ve added myself to the following sites:

Aol’s NetFind which i just read is now powered by excite! go figure.
Web Crawler
Meta Crawler

the cool thing is that register-it! will do a trial version to eight selected sites. The irony is that i’ve already submitted myself to four of those sites today.

i can’t believe how much time it took to do this schiznit. i started over an hour ago, and now i have five minutes left before i have to get to work. the irony of that is that i was having fun, and it’s been ages since i’ve sat down and threw my information into the hopper, sorta speak. i had to get rid of all the bad urls, that just went no where. fortunately for me, my older sites such as the one hosted on grfn.org, I had added refresh materials in the meta tags to take the user to the new site, which is the one you are looking at now. thank goodness, that i also had a .forward file inserted for the email, because i’ve lost my password to that account.

i want to gain fame and fortune and be worshipped the world over.
justin is just damn happy that i’m writing everyday, where as before i wasn’t.
i’m just happy that i don’t feel so intimidated about my life anymore, and i’ve finally figured out how to write and get the content fresh and new to the readers.

my plans include writing short stories, and getting more involved with what i’m doing. you can always spank me if you wish to let me know how you like this site.
while it seems that i provide content for the reader, it is the reader (based on hits i get) that delegates whether or not this site is any good.
so spank me if you dare.

rad! no spelling errors this time. thank you spell checker!. the simple things please me.