make a new friend/keep the old
While doing the website last night, I came to the conclusion that I needed to have an archive page. Sure, I’ve been doing TLC for nearly eight months now, longest running span in any format in the four years I’ve been doing this sort of thing. So, I started stockpiling all my old “works” on the archive page and THAT alone took several hours. Why? Well for one, when Slip.Net lost my main website for simunye.com, I had lost nearly a 1000 files, including the work I had saved while mirroring F.U.C.K.. I have written 10-15 pieces within a years span for them, and then it was all gone. It made me realize that my writings was woefully out of date. I had not updated it since early 1998 as well as have “forgotten” that it existed.
It was as if I was trying to hide something.
So, for nearly two hours, I spent playing hide & seek looking for the lost files and getting them all organized on the archive section. It felt -really really- good to read some of my old things. I still think a bunch of it is crap-o-la, but hey, that’s just me. I plan on updating the year in review: 1997 as well as do one for 1998. It was scary to think just how much of my life is now on the web. With putting up these pieces, I realize and see how much I’ve grown/change as well as the world around me. Enjoy.
our little secret
If you are a fan of techno/industrial/house/dance music (or whatever they are calling it these days), may I suggest that you pick up Lords of Acid’s newest cd Our Little Secret. I had the opportunity to check it out when I was back home in Michigan, and loved it. I haven’t purchased the full length cd as of yet, but I did get their cd-maxi-single of Pussy, which has several re-mixes as well as the song The Power is Mine. I’ve been walking around humming the damn thing for a few days now, so you -really- must pick it up.
I’ve been trying really hard to not be so damn bitchy, but goddamn it! people’s stupidity really gets me. On a mailing list that I am on, the talk turned to polyamory, relationships, men vs women, and some of the comments really irked me. Of course, John only invited me on the list to play devils advocate. Sigh. I really hate that shit. Women tripping all over themselves to be “cool” while the men sit back and laugh. No matter where you go or what you do, the shit just don’t change!
My main loneliness, I would assume, is because I can’t get anyone to understand me. I am haunted by words from friends that keep telling me that I do this and I do that. I used to care about these things, and would take it to heart when people said things to me, but it just is so damn lonely. I feel so Randian. You know, sticking up for my beliefs when no one else will.
But there is a plus side to all of this.
This being that the topics discussed as so wide varied and so full of piss/vinegar, I get a chance to think again. It feels refreshing to be able to think about what I am going to say and really attempt to explain my views. It gives me a chance to do things that I haven’t thought about in eons. Things I’ve wanted to write about and never did. I still have a listing of all the short stories and poems I wanted to complete. I’m strange. I create titles for the projects BEFORE I write them. It’s the only way I can really feel like I have a good handle on what I want to say. So even if I have to make a conscious effort to write about the stuff that I really want to. Commentary on daily life, my style. I’ve always given a different spin on things, because obviously reality is really subjective. 😉
I will be 27.
I am surrounded by four computers: Windows 3.11/95/98 and NT 4.0 workstation. I am proficient on all of them. I am frightened by that aspect.
Shit I fucked up. I am building our software using IEAK and I forgot to put in the dialer and the stack. Aww well. Don said “whatever it takes”. So I’m doing “whatever it takes”. Don also thought it was appropriate to give me a Dilbert cartoon from January 10th. Pretty much it’s about Wally bitching to his boss about how the “expected” amount of time it takes to complete a project as well as the “realistic” amount of time it takes to complete a project are two complete different things. This is true. They want this fucking software like three weeks ago, however, since i’m also in charge of end user support/GO! and building out other machines, I’m just curious as to where in my copious free time I am to do this all. Let’s not also forget that twinkletoes also bestows x,y,z things for me to do.
So now I’m killing time waiting for Internet Explorer to install itself on Windows 3.x machine (which is ironically has 16MB of ram on a 486/66 with a 400MB hard drive). So I’ll be here for awhile. While I’m waiting, I’m going to go get lunch. Chinese probably. Where a girl here found a half-cutup cockroach. 😉