music non-stop

i got obsessed recently with getting our cds in order. I knew for a long time paul and I had duplicates of the same cds, but thankfully it wasn’t that many. We found a 500 cd holder at freaking tower for under a 100 bucks, so we bought home and let my compulsive/obsessive nature shine through.

May I present you with the complete cd collection of lisa and paul.

Since Paul keeps asking me what CDs we own and he was bitching that i was not incorporating his CDs in with mine, i finally gave up and did this little project.

The case, despite being absurdly cheap, is actually pretty nice looking. We were using those standard 300 cd cases that you can buy at walmart for like 20 bucks, but every time you touched it, it almost fell over. Some of the 500 and 1000 cases I’ve been looking at were pricing at several hundred bucks. Who knew Tower would have something I needed? I usually despise that store for being so overpriced and full of wanna be trendoids. Majority of the time when I do buy cds, i buy them online now a days, but then again, who doesn’t buy shit online?

I’ve gotten hooked on yahoo — in more ways than one. I found out you can add all your checking, savings and credit card accounts on one page without having to look them up separately.

I’m so excited i could have cream my panties.

Btw, I’m looking for a new spades partner to play on come help a sistah out.

i have cramps.



autumn in virginia

fall has officially fallen upon us.

i can see a joke somewhere in there but I’m too tired to really think about it right now.

i love fall. when i see girls in sweaters and jeans i want to rush home and put on sweaters and jeans too. i love the way the air is crisp and how surreal the world looks against everything. i love the feeling of the wind against my cheeks and how my hands tingle when they get cold. i love the cravings i get for soup, hot cocoa and for chili.

tomorrow i go back to the shrink to start my therapy.

for the last few days I’ve been trying to reconcile things inside me i have not liked nor wanted to admit. many of them too personal for me to even begin to discuss to anyone let alone a public journal. perhaps i am afraid of the outcome, i do not know. i do know that i had gotten myself all riled up on the way home from work today that I sat on the toilet and cried while Paul looked concerned from the shower (naked and wet pauly, mmm).

My life, as we all know it in these last few years, has gone topsy turvy. i keep thinking back to the fall of 1994 when I was entering college for the second time — this time as a full time student. When I made the commitment to myself that this was something I was willing to do, I found that i loved what I was doing. I took the step and joined the paper, I excelled in school and I had friends all over the place. Then things change. And they kept changing.

Does anyone realize how hard being open and honest is. That choices need to be made to make you happy and that you need to make those choices to make yourself happy. But you don’t feel like you are being human, what choices do you have to begin with. Sometimes life is like a shell to me. You go through these emotions day in and day out — but they are not even really emotions, they are just motions. Putting on a brave face pretending to be something you aren’t. Why do people feel like they are so unhappy? Sometimes I wish I knew.

Sometimes I think I watch too much Felicity.
Decadence Tackycake


this is my story and i’m sticking to it

paul got fired.

from his job.

apparently what had happened, was that VA Linux (after the merger with Andover) went through and fired 30 of the 100 employees — who were all top management/CXX something or another. While paul was technically a senior programmer, he was listed as director of e- commerce (at 20! go beat that!).

Pauls in better spirits than I am. i hate rejection. I hate not knowing what’s going to happen (on the flip side, every time I’ve gotten fired, I’ve always known I’d get another job).

Paul is the exact same way. Since he found out yesterday afternoon, he has been on the phone scheduling interviews and sending out his resume. He’s fast asleep snoring right now from doing more work in the last two days looking for a damn job than he has in a long time (so I feel). 😉

I’m teasing, of course.

Vandover was gracious enough to give him a months severance plus his two week vacation time PLUS he still has one month on his health insurance (unlike me when I was frog marched out of Slip.Net).

The silver lining is that I got a bonus and a raise and can call myself a “Senior” systems engineer at UUnet. whoopee.
Or something.

Plus I got a new boss — so I’m mucho happy. I like my new boss. She’s nifty.

I’m not handling pauls firing as well as he is. I’ve gone through more chocolate and eating binges than you can shake a stick at. Paul’s happy because basically with his mad skillz he knows that he can find another job fairly quickly and the extra money is just that — extra money. But technically, I’m the breadwinner in the household, and I’m scared. because what if he DOESN’T find another job (unlikely) and then the obsession starts again.

I’ve repeated myself here haven’t i?

blame ciannait for starting on the obsession.
no really.

Another obsession I’ve found is the tv show “angel”. okay you can stop laughing now. I’m being serious.
I was BORED BORED BORED tonight (paul was redoing his resume –again to make it perfect) and i was tired from having gone to the chiropractor earlier in the morning to be aligned. all i wanted to do was rest and watch teevee.

we have 145 channels and NOTHING IS EVER ON. finally i realize the only thing that is on worth watching is “Buffy” and “Angel” afterwards. Buffy, was at best, okay. Angel was much better and I enjoyed wasting 60 minutes on fluff. Plus Angel is a damn hottie. So now that I’ve gotten this new obsession, I’ve been combing the web looking for information about the previous season. This whole fanfic thing scares me. People are damn crazy.