resolution #7

it dawned on me on the way to work this morning (after reiterating it to paul, of course), that the other resolution i was missing was that i was not going to dye my hair anymore. no, the world has not fallen on it’s knees and no, hell didn’t freeze over. After 15 years of dying my hair (i started young), I’m extremely curious to see what my hair would look like au natural. but of course I’m going to enhance it. heh. i want some caramel highlights to cover up any gray that suddenly appears, but overall, i wonder what my natural hair color is.

the last time i dyed my hair was in November when Ivette was in town and we went on a hair dying spree between the both of us. I’ve got roots nearing two inches long and boy, does it look white trashy. because i have such thick hair, it is becoming to look like a hair helmet and I’m praying i have the strength to not go get it cut or to run out and buy a box of feria.

I’m still hoping for the strength.

stand tall girl

i am tired as fuck, paul has been on a conference call all night with work and Wednesday is driving me crazy. i pounded out a few back entries this evening so if you think you’re getting another one from me, kiss my fat white ass.

some amusing things to note, some asshole decided that it would be cute to put a link to from That’s fine by me and paul. We redirected traffic back to and to

the wedding plans are becoming a pain in my ass and I’m getting pissed at how expensive everything is. Since paul got me my visor for Xmas, I’ve been using that like a mofo adding dates and to do items and collecting crap left and right to get the wedding planned. Pauls parents will be up next weekend with an antique ring that we are going to have shaped for me (3 carat total weight in diamonds and in a platinum setting), plus we’ve been looking at places to get married and for the low low price of 8k we could rent our own private island in Key West.


I can’t make my mind worth a damn, and to make matters worse our lease is up on our apartment in March and so we’ve been looking for some place new and everything is either asking wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much money (a lovely luxurious apartment for the low low price of 2500) or they won’t take big dogs (for paul’s sister whose moving up here next week) and or something is wrong with them. And you would THINK us living in the new SillyValley that we could get broadband — but no. We can’t. The central offices in the newer places are virtual and cannot do DSL, and if we move out of RoadRunner neighborhood, we can’t get cable. If someone thinks I’m going back to dialup, they are smoking some serious crack.

i finally got T-shirts for sale. I know I know, I promised those on the list shirts for free, and I swear I will get to them at some point. Dunno when, but i will. I’m also featured on a T-shirt from Open Knightly. I’m a CoderBuff girl! Right down to the barrette on the side of my hair.


new years resolutions

new years resolutions are broken promises. we all know this. i can’t think of anyone off hand who had actually gone through and made resolutions and did what they said they were going to do. all the smokers start back smoking on 1/3 and the dieters last a bit longer. So my question is, are these resolutions something we can truly count on or can we really work on them?

i thought about this little ditty this last week as i was eating, puffing and flipping through bridal magazines. i was looking for something i liked and in the meantime my own compulsive habit of buying clothes that do not fit me was going out of control. Paul bought me a Visor Deluxe in blue and said “Plan our life with this!” and which I’ve started doing. I love this thing! But I digress.

I started flipping through bridal magazines, victoria secret magazines and i swore to myself “I am not wearing a size 18 wedding dress!” no way no how, damn skippy! Since we are planning for the wedding to be in key west, i kept telling paul “I’m going to be prancing around wearing a scarlet red thong bikini!”.


  • resolution 1: go on a diet.
  • resolution 2: paul goes on a diet. shopping for paul has become a bitch as well, you know being 6’6 and built like a line breaker makes it hard for paul to shop for clothes as well.
  • resolution 3: get my health in order. Then there is the whole anxiety crap. I’m chugging down vitamins and meds left and right. His family thinks it’s funny that i keep quipping that i deal with paul “because of all the crack I’m on” when the truth is, it’s more for me than for him.
  • resolution 4: quit smoking.
  • resolution 5: get things ready for school to start in January 2002. then there is school. i swore to myself i would die if i didn’t get my undergrad degree by the time i am 30. I will be 29 this year. No freaking way can i get it all done in a space of less than two years (especially with expenses up the yazhoo coming up). but there is hope! my fathers trust will pay for schooling and appropriate bills as long as i do a business plan to show where the money is going.
  • resolution 6: start writing more and start looking at branches i can use to sell my work. my writing has taken a nose-dive in the last few months and i keep using the excuse “I’m busy.” for not writing. and i know it’s more that I’m afraid of what I’m going to say than what i will say on paper. i miss what I’m doing and so…

there are tons and tons of other things that keep bubbling up to the top that i feel i must include in this little list of what i want to do this year. plan a wedding, plan our move. plan for school. get both paul and myself to the doctors for complete checkups. dentist appointments and eye doctor appointments. get Wednesday fixed, plan vacations. see my mom and pauls family.

there is not enough time in the world for me to do this all in. but i hope to get it done and make my mark on the world as we know it.