space invaderz

it’s after 12am but i still consider it friday night — which it is as time is relative and it’s only pertains to what we want it to pertain to. right. so it’s friday night and rob has just left. moe and alisha had left earlier after we were all hanging out watching porn (on channel 495 — the TEN network, thanks) and critiquing what we were seeing. Alisha surprised us by naming the fleshy party between the labia (basically your clit) by calling it “roast beef” when a some what money shot showed the nether regions of some perky young babe.

I don’t know what it is about some of the porn we watch but the women look bored and lack any kind of immagination. Why do porn if your heart isn’t going to be into it. I know, big shocker, it’s the money. But fuck, if i was getting into porn, i would all be up in that shit. Or at least faking it. The four of us discussed about directing and starring in our own porn videos. Thankfully, some of them have actually got the training to direct/produce so it wouldn’t be that hard. Scary thought.

But I will pay homage to three of my greatest porn links that I think everyone should buy from:

Btw, i’m in the market for really good still of vintage porn. Pre- Betty if you will. Digital or analog is fine. If anyone knows of any place, let me know. thanks.


morality and ethics girl

So there I was, standing in line at World Market yesterday evening, with my cute little basket hanging off my arm and adorable plaid oven mitts twirling off my fingers. Ahead of me were the Two Fat Ladies © who were bitching/moaning about the price of the sale items and their 5 dollar bottles of champagne. I was not in a hurry and I did not have any particular place to go. The line behind me seemed to be getting long however, so the clerk called for backup and when the second cashier showed up and asked for next in line, Ken and Barbie jumped at the chance and cut in front of me and several other folks. They were not apologetic about jumping the line, they just did. Other people quickly followed suit and i went from being second in line to the last.

I’ve been hearing for awhile now about how ever since 9/11 people have been getting nicer and nicer. We’ve become a more polite society and a more reasonable one. We are gracious and kind and considerate. Am I the only one who feels like this is a bunch of bullshit and that we are just deluding ourselves? What ever happened to spending 20 seconds to say thank you or even write a nice note for a job well done. Why or how have we become so jaded that we simply do not care any more?

I do not know.

I realised the other day that this was was the reason why I was so angry recently. I am truly sick and tired of people being rude and inconsiderate. From everything from saying please and thank you to not using turn signals when driving. I’m tired of women like the two fat bitches who rather shove products they didn’t want to the side and hide them from the cashier than to give them to the cashier so that he can restock them. I’m tired of people getting short with me when I ask a question because they are being inconsiderate and won’t pay attention to me. I’m sick of being just being mean for no other reason other than to be mean. Not everything is my fault and hence it shouldn’t be treated that way. I’m sorry that the mere thought of spending more than 5 bucks on champagne gives you the willies but that gives you no right to to be rude to the clerk. He just works there. Ken and Barbie could have hold off a few extra minutes to let others through.

I mean, think about it. Stand in line somewhere and watch how people will shove and push to get to the front. Very rarely since 9/11 have I been anywhere where people were not being totally inconsiderate. Take Baltimore Aquarium for instance. Mark and I had stood in line getting tickets and this woman a few paces back lights up and smokes a cigarette WHILE IN LINE. Now you are probably saying to yourself ‘lisa, you used to smoke’ and yah that’s true, but I never was inconsiderate to those around me and i certainly would never smoke in a public place, in line that was packed tighter than sardines. I started coughing from the smoke and Mark swapped places with me because I was seriously thinking about bitchslapping this woman in the face.

in which: lisa gets confused

I’ve been sitting here moving like a sloth today. In fact, if i moved any slower, I’d probably be dead. I’m paying homage to the slugs i saw last night when I was outside at midnight varnishing a chest to hold my linens in. i got these flash brilliant points of light when i was varnishing that i could turn this hobby of one into a project in case i left my job. which is on my mind, a lot, losing my job. it ranks up there with leaving, moving, and being sexy. some would say my train
of thought seems to range down the pretty shallow range. I’d say it’s pretty human.

i just watch a pretty dreadful movie, Kate and Leopold. If you haven’t seen it, I don’t recommend it and the only cute thing was Natasha Lyonne playing Meg Ryan’s admin assist and she gushing over bodice rippers. I love Natasha in just about everything she’s done, except But I’m a Cheerleader!, because that was simply crap. Art house films for the most part seem to be filled with subversive need to push the boundaries because they can not because it actually means something. Modern art does not speak to me, however I like Kandinsky. Go figure that one out.

I have this thing about smells, always have. This weekend I went walking around the mall and was opening up bottles of cologne to sniff to see if i could find a new scene for myself. Foolish counter girls at the stores. Why is it that they assume that if you look like a bum you can’t buy anything? I could buy/sell their damn counter several times over. I did it a few weeks back before my birthday party when i bought out Clinique counter and the woman was amazed (and hooked me upon some free crap as well, which is a good thing considering how much i spent).

i wondered around and sniffed.

it was your smell

that’s all i could remember
down on the sofa, on the

closing my eyes and thinking