Not sure where it’s coming from but lately I’ve been feeling this need to be totally anti-social. As in, no communication of any sort to anyone anywhere. Not sure where the ideas are coming from, but they are coming fast and they are coming furious.

I recently wrote a letter of a sort of apology to someone recently. It was spurned on by a series of events I had not known that happened until later and yet I was being used as the measuring stick against said events. The letter had been planned in my head for awhile now (prior to the events) — and while i DO understand that this person and I would most likely never be friends again (and I AM fine with that), I just wanted to get off my chest regardless of the outcome because i still don’t understand how the decline began in the first place.

I bcc’d the letter to three people who were close to that person (and myself) and followed THAT up with a letter of explanation of why I wrote it in the first place. Bottom line, I offered the olive branch and whether or not that person takes it is fine, but I did at least try and that should matter for something. But of course I never heard from the person I emailed it to and of course I did not hear back from any of the three. You’re probably wondering, what did you expect to hear? Well, encouragement? Congratulations? Pat on the head? A stick to fetch? Not. A. Thing.

This isn’t the first time it’s happened either and I suspect it won’t be the last either and I suppose it will be my decision for the future.

When Paul and I broke up, initially back in October, no one really believed me and to be honest, I didn’t really expect them too. It was like I said shortly after that in a missive I had written, that I had to be nearly beaten to a pulp (which he THREATENED but did not DO) before anyone would think about coming to my rescue. Now I’ve let him, and moved 700 miles away. In the last year I’ve made tremendous changes in my life from quitting smoking, to quitting a dead-end job, to leaving an abusive relationship to moving back home to starting back in school and in that time period, of all these changes, of which have been positive, I’d thought I’d get a pat on the back. A congratulations. A job well done for making positive choices. Save for a few stragglers and my brother, there really hasn’t been any. Of the over 100 people on the mailing list and 50 odd freaks on my friends list at LJ and who ever reads my website, I only got less than 1/2 dozen emails from random people saying “Congrats!” “Good luck!’ “Best Wishes!” “Bon Voyage!”

25th Hour

I never claim to be a connoisseur of film. I just know what I like. Run Lola Run? Love it. Happenstance? Awsome. Sliding Doors? Great. (btw, i realise the last three movies have the same context, but that was a coinky dink). I’d like to think that I understand most major films and what the ‘point being’. That I can discern between a good film and a bad film. Like Showgirls. It is a great film — if you go into it knowing it’s what it’s about. Yes but it is terrible, but it’s so terrible it’s good! Like Evil Dead is so terrible that it’s good. So why the fuck do people keep saying if you don’t enjoy a film that ‘is deep’ this somehow makes you stupid? That you are better off watching Dude, Where’s My Car?.

Like Thin Red Line. It’s crap. I don’t care what anyone says about symbolism and foreshadowing, it’s crap. It was poorly edited, the script was choppy and I spent the whole 3 hours wishing I could watch paint dry. Gladiator is another one. Didn’t like it, didn’t get “it”. What the fuck was Robin Williams thinking about in One Hour Photo? I mean, fuck, Death to Smoochy was a MUCH better film (and had better imagery and symbolism etc). But yet OHP got better ratings than DTS, and DTS apparently was a “bomb” (at least according to Premier Magazine).

What does this have to do with the price of tea in China?

Well, tonight Chris, one of Jeff’s roommates, suggested that we go see 25th Hour. Of course the boys wouldn’t DREAM of seeing a chick flick with me (though Jeff did want to go see Gangs of New York with me, but there were no more showings), even though Jeff claims that by hanging out with me his chances of picking up women double because women assume that if one girl wants someone that they will want them too and also apparently that because i’m his sister and deem him cool enough to hang out with, this makes him a better person. Right. Follow? So anyway, Chris gives the synopsis and I’m thinking he’s talking about Life of David Gale by his synopsis and I did want to see this and it has Kate Winslet in it (mmmmmm).

Haha. I was wrong. Oh. So. Wrong.

What the fuck is up with Spike Lee? I mean, what the fuck. The context of the movie seemed plausible but oh jesus, WHY DOES HE ALWAYS GOTTA DIG at everything racial. There is this half moment where Edward Norton (mmmm Edward Norton) is in the bathroom and his image is just ragging on every race left and right. Like out of no where. And ALL THE GRATUITOUS showing of post-9/11 bullshit. Yah, move on okay. MOVE THE FUCK ON. Yah it was terrible and it was awful and people died but people DIE EVERYDAY and it may not be violent or filled with anger or rage or hate but they still do die. Where are their memorials? I mean, fuck. C’mon on now. Where the fuck is your patriotism?

Okay, I’m going left of center here — the thing with Lee is that he takes the ideas of his past films and he reinvents them for a newer generation. This was like watching Jungle Fever and Do the Right Thing mixed together with the imagery of post-9/11 thrown in. The thing that killed me is that it had a GREAT cast: Edward Norton, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Anna Paquin playing a tart. Major props for Norton going from neo-nazi to a angry white ikea boy to a clown to a drug dealer in NYC. There were a lot of unnecessary moments in the film that for continuity could have been left out and there seemed to be mix messages, like Lee had this one idea and then scooted over to another idea and just kept doing this back and forth. The movie is crap. There was maybe one or two good scenes in the 2.5 hour flick.

Don’t believe the hype. Lee has made some stinkers (like Girl 6). Just because Lee directed it doesn’t mean it’s good and trust me, it IS okay to dislike a movie that everyone hypes up, it doesn’t make you any less stupid or less of an intellectual.

Save your money and see something else. ANYTHING else.

into a ravine

Paul and the whole fucking lot in NOVA can go fling themselves into a ravine.
This he/she said bullshit is for the birds.