holy christ on a crutch

it’s 11am and i have NOT gone to bed. I have a 12:30pm appointment with my tattooist to finish DEATH and while I was laying in bed earlier this morning, I got a wild hair up my ass about a project I’m doing and was able to make it look 100x better. thank $diety.
As an aside, houseguestfromhell emailed me this morning as if nothing was wrong. wtf.
I’ll post pictures of the finished DEATH once I get home and then I’m passing out.

i want to rip someones head off and fucking feed their intestines to my dogs

first, there is the houseguest from hell. I’ll include her little conversation with me here:
i also changed her username to “houseguestfromhell”. Yes it’s long but it gives you a jist of what she’s like. The good stuff is at the bottom.
[23:03] houseguesfromhell: you there?
[23:04] modgirllisa: hey there
[23:04] houseguesfromhell: are you upset with me?
[23:04] modgirllisa: no why?
[23:04] houseguesfromhell: you haven’t returned any of my calls
[23:04] modgirllisa: i never got any of your calls
[23:04] houseguesfromhell: you haven’t been answering my im’s
[23:04] modgirllisa: um, the last IM i got from you was when we talked last week
[23:05] houseguesfromhell: not like i sent a lot but i think i sent 2
[23:05] modgirllisa: no, never got them
[23:05] modgirllisa: huh
[23:05] modgirllisa: now the phone thing i can understand because i got the software updated and it’s not taking vm’s now
[23:05] houseguesfromhell: i left you messages on you home and cell voicemails
[23:05] modgirllisa: um
[23:05] modgirllisa: my home vm is showing 0
[23:05] houseguesfromhell: i left you a message on your home phone saying htat I thought something was wrong with you cell phone voicemail
[23:05] modgirllisa: when?
[23:05] houseguesfromhell: let me think for a minute
[23:06] houseguesfromhell: i was calling to ask you a question that only you would know and if I could remember what I was trying to ask you than I could remember what day it was
[23:06] houseguesfromhell: last week sometime
[23:06] houseguesfromhell: like maybe thursday or friday
[23:07] houseguesfromhell: and i called yesterday but got no answer on cell phone with no vm and didn’t leave a mesage at home cause i thought you might be mad at me
[23:07] modgirllisa: no, i’m not.
[23:07] modgirllisa: i called my mom yesterday because i had to do some paperwork for her apartment rental stuff
[23:07] modgirllisa: and she said dhs had called and left me a vm over the weekend on my cell phone
[23:08] modgirllisa: and it wasn’t there
[23:08] houseguesfromhell: i think katie misses the girls
[23:08] houseguesfromhell: she has been acting very weird and lonely sort of.. Not that im trying to by pass what you are saying.. she is just up in my face crying
[23:09] modgirllisa: wow
[23:09] modgirllisa: that’s weird
[23:09] houseguesfromhell: did you go to your last class yet?
[23:09] modgirllisa: for creative writing?
[23:09] modgirllisa: nope that is august 9
[23:09] houseguesfromhell: yeah… thats the one you have every 3 weeks
[23:09] modgirllisa: yep
[23:09] modgirllisa: i finish up literacy trianing this week
[23:10] modgirllisa: and finish working on the web project for the tattoo shop and do homework for the august 9 class too
[23:10] houseguesfromhell: how is jeffie doing?
[23:10] modgirllisa: phone got disconnected
[23:10] houseguesfromhell: his?
[23:10] modgirllisa: so i don’t know
[23:10] modgirllisa: yah his
[23:10] houseguesfromhell: awww.. cell or home?
[23:10] modgirllisa: apparently jeremy is telling him he paid the bil
[23:10] modgirllisa: home
[23:10] houseguesfromhell: does his cell phone still work?
[23:11] modgirllisa: barely
[23:11] modgirllisa: he needs to get it replaced by sprint
[23:11] modgirllisa: and we’ve been trying to work that out but he’s working afternoons still
[23:11] modgirllisa: so i never see him
[23:11] houseguesfromhell: awww
[23:12] houseguesfromhell: so I have a situation that I am dealing with and I could use your advise
[23:12] houseguesfromhell: do you have time?
[23:13] modgirllisa: sure
[23:13] modgirllisa: go for it baby!
[23:13] houseguesfromhell: ok.. so there was this guy that we worked with at ASI named Tyrone Lockridge. Black guy.. very femine.. do you remember him?
[23:13] modgirllisa: um, nope.
[23:14] houseguesfromhell: ok.. well..
[23:14] houseguesfromhell: he and I became pretty close friends. We went to Chicago one day together and we used to hang out a lot…..
[23:14] modgirllisa: k
[23:14] houseguesfromhell: he says he had a crush on me.. I was very comfortable with him cause I thought he was gay and just didn’t know it yet.
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: so.. one of the movies we saw together was Mo’ Better Blues..
[23:15] modgirllisa: wait he says he has a crush on you NOW?
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: no
[23:15] modgirllisa: kay
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: so that movies was on the other night and it made me think of him …
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: so I looked him up.
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: I found him
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: he is gay.. but in denial
[23:16] houseguesfromhell: like he says “Im not gay…” and then a couple of sentences later “When I was with Tracy (a guy) for 7 years…”… and he is trying to say that he was with Tracy and will never be with another man.. Ok .. Whatever dude.
[23:16] houseguesfromhell: …
[23:16] modgirllisa: Paul was like that.
[23:16] houseguesfromhell: Ok.. so he was going through some stuff at home.. and I wanted to see him.. so I invtied him to come down here and visit….
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: so he is here
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: and we are not getting along
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: like way worse than you and me in June kind of not getting along
[23:17] modgirllisa: woah
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: he is supposed to be here until sunday
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: today is only tuesday.
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: he is driving me crazy…
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: so let me tell you some of the stuff that is getting me
[23:18] houseguesfromhell: so.. he is the guy who is messing with that author that I told you about… (and yet he is not gay).. and he told lynn that he would not be with him unless he was well compensated financially (whore).. so he is basically just trying to whore his way through life..
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: but you aren’t supoosed to do that with friends!!
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: not with people you are not trying to sleep with!!
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: he came down here with $5
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: five dollars
[23:19] modgirllisa: you’re kidding
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: for a week long trip
[23:19] modgirllisa: how did he get down there?
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: I bought his bus ticket cause it was cheap
[23:20] houseguesfromhell: and its not so much that I am paying for everything.. cause you know me with paying.. but its like he came down here expecting that and he is trying to get us to do all this stuff that he doesn’t have to pay for cause he is expecting me to pay for it!!
[23:20] modgirllisa: Why don’t you buy his bus ticket back home?
[23:21] modgirllisa: i mean, this is unlike you
[23:21] modgirllisa: really.
[23:21] houseguesfromhell: and he is approaching it like I am a gay guy he is trying to sleep with like “take me here” and “take me there” kind of thing
[23:21] houseguesfromhell: ok.. here is why.. and this is a preliminary reason.. not a final reason
[23:22] houseguesfromhell: we had a blow up tonight.. and I will tell you about.. but because of what he did afterward.. that I kind of feel like I partially want to “torture” him by keeping him here and not knowing when he is going home.. and.. if I send him home before he asks to be sent home than he is goign to view that he won and he got the best of me
[23:23] houseguesfromhell: now.. listen to what happened
[23:23] houseguesfromhell: I plugged in my cell phone cause it was dead
[23:23] houseguesfromhell: about an hour or so later he said “Is your phone done charging?”
[23:23] houseguesfromhell: I said “I don’t know”
[23:24] houseguesfromhell: He went over to the phone.. unplugged it and carried it over to the sofa..
[23:24] houseguesfromhell: I said.. “did you have to unplug it? It messes up the battery life if you don’t let it charge completely. You can make a call with it plugged in.”
[23:24] houseguesfromhell: that is when he flipped..
[23:25] houseguesfromhell: he said “You knew I wanted to use the phone. Why didn’t you tell me that when I asked you if I could use the phone?”
[23:25] houseguesfromhell: I said.. you didn’t ask me if you could use the phone.. you asked if it was done charging.
[23:27] modgirllisa: How long has it been since you’ve seen him?
[23:27] houseguesfromhell: ok.. hold on
[23:34] modgirllisa: shell?
[23:34] houseguesfromhell: hold on im on the phone with jeff
[23:34] modgirllisa: my brother?
[23:34] houseguesfromhell: yes
[23:39] houseguesfromhell: ok.. im back
[23:40] houseguesfromhell: so anyway.. that is when he flipped.. he was like.. why are you being so literal? Why is everything that I said examined word for word and analyzed?
[23:40] houseguesfromhell: before I could come out of my mouth with a question on what he was talking about he continues to go off about how uncomfortable I have made him since he showed up and how he is out of his element and that I am taking advantage of him
[23:40] houseguesfromhell: 12 years
[23:42] modgirllisa: So let me get this straight, you haven’t seen him in 12 years let alone talk to him and you invited him down to see you in Cincy with you paying the bus fare. He shows up with five bucks and a: you are surprised that he wants to take advantage of you and b: you want to keep him there because you want to torture him?
[23:43] modgirllisa: If that is all true, are you fucking insane?
[23:44] houseguesfromhell: so.. he went outside like he was going to smoke a cigarette. but didn’t have any as he was trying to quite smoking.. and was out there just talking shit about me.. right on my own porch.. like.. “Oh no you are not making me uncomfortable all these miles away from home. You do not appreciate the fact that I am here. You are talking to me like a 10 year old child and you take everyting so literally. This is ridiculous and I have never experienced anything so horrible in my entire life.”
[23:45] houseguesfromhell: well.. your paraphrasing makes it sound a little different than how I said it…
[23:45] houseguesfromhell: but you are right
[23:45] modgirllisa: get off the computer
[23:46] modgirllisa: tell his ungrateful ass he is going back on the first bus back tomororw
[23:46] houseguesfromhell: huh?
[23:46] houseguesfromhell: jeff said.. stop calling him he is goign to call you on your cell phone
[23:46] houseguesfromhell: ok?
[23:46] modgirllisa: um
[23:46] modgirllisa: i’m not calling him
[23:46] modgirllisa: and my cell phone is dead
[23:47] houseguesfromhell: is your house phone buys?
[23:47] modgirllisa: nope
[23:47] houseguesfromhell: busy*?
[23:47] modgirllisa: i just turned the phone on and off
[23:47] houseguesfromhell: he is trying to call you on your house phone and said its a busy signal
[23:47] modgirllisa: see above
[23:47] houseguesfromhell: why did you tell me to get off the computer?
[23:48] houseguesfromhell: the bus schedule is not convenient for me tomorrow.. its 545 am and 1010 am
[23:49] modgirllisa: it’s not convient with you
[23:49] modgirllisa: you know, you really take the cake
[23:50] houseguesfromhell: why shouldl I wake up at 330 in the morning or leave work to take his ass?
[23:50] modgirllisa: gee
[23:50] modgirllisa: i wonder
[23:50] modgirllisa: so he’s not around to further irriate you and take advantage of you?
[23:53] houseguesfromhell: i need to think about the best way to solve this
[23:53] houseguesfromhell: Im gonna head off to bed
[23:53] houseguesfromhell: I have to work at 8 tomrrow
[23:54] houseguesfromhell: ok?
[23:54] modgirllisa: sorry
[23:54] modgirllisa: trillian got caught up
[23:54] modgirllisa: fine.
[23:55] houseguesfromhell: ok.. i will talk to you tomorrow
So then my brother calls me back finally (on his cell) and because his house phone got disco’d (the roommate not paying on it you see) and he wants me to pay one of his bills for him online. Because he is dyslexic, he can’t tell the difference between a few letters and gets pissed at ME because he can’t fucking read. I get into the site and pay his fucking bill for him (out of his pocket not mine) and I tell him of an opportunity that grahamwest was interested in with him for some future work. ANYWAY, i said “Um, Jeff, they don’t shut the phone off after a single month of not paying the bill, and if he paid it a week ago they got he money already. Why don’t you get on Jeremy’s ass about why he isn’t paying the bills as you two share an apartment.” ANd he said “Jeremy is a grown ass man and can take care of himself.” I’m like WTF? HELLO! ANd he starts ranting and raging about my bill paying with my ex paul, um, our phone was never dico’s honey and we made over six figures combined. I got so pissed i slammed down the phone.
Now i’m angrily chewing on a straw.

And he continues

Background info, I live in a ‘burb of Grand Rapids, called Wyoming, not the state OF wyoming 😉 Anyways, I ignored him and got ready for literacy training and left and came home to find the following:
[16:51] dreamcatchermja: I’m sorry if offended you. Are you ok
[16:56] dreamcatchermja: So what kinds of things spark your interest?
[17:03] dreamcatchermja: I would like know more about you and your interest
[17:10] dreamcatchermja: So tell me something about you? What makes you so fun?

I should start a page on Yahoo shannigans

[16:13] dreamcatchermja: Hello There, My name is Michael. I am from Wyoming. I am a Working Chef but I am a Double-major in Accounting and Business Management at Davenport University
[16:38] modgirllisa: hello.
[16:39] dreamcatchermja: Hello
[16:39] dreamcatchermja: How are you today?
[16:40] modgirllisa: just peachy
[16:40] dreamcatchermja: So where are you at now?
[16:40] modgirllisa: in my apartment
[16:41] dreamcatchermja: In G.R.
[16:41] modgirllisa: yes
[16:41] dreamcatchermja: What’s your name?
[16:41] modgirllisa: Lisa
[16:42] dreamcatchermja: Hello Lisa
[16:42] dreamcatchermja: So what would you like to know about me
[16:42] modgirllisa: Nothing.
[16:42] dreamcatchermja: Why?
[16:42] modgirllisa: Because you sound boring.
[16:43] dreamcatchermja: Whatever
[16:43] dreamcatchermja: I like to go to concerts, the beach, and I have jump off a bridge and more
[16:43] modgirllisa: That’s nice.
[16:43] modgirllisa: bye now.
[16:44] dreamcatchermja: I have played chicken with trains and I used to swim in Thunderstorms in Lake Michigan
[16:44] dreamcatchermja: I am Risk Taker so call me “Boring.”
[16:44] modgirllisa: First off, playing chicken with trains and swimming in thunderstorms is not being ‘edgy’ it’s being stupid
[16:44] dreamcatchermja: So you think you are a challenge or what?
[16:44] modgirllisa: and you are boring.
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: I don’t think so.
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: That is when I was young
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: Now I am working hard to have the finer things in life
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: I am going to own several mall businesses
[16:46] dreamcatchermja: So what do you for a living?
[16:47] dreamcatchermja: So what do you for fun?
[16:48] dreamcatchermja: I like to go to thh Beach, play sports, and dance

well, color me shocked

Paul just called.
The number on the caller id came up as Colorado and I had no idea who the hell that was, so like a good single girl, I let the phone go to voicemail. And then I heard Paul’s voice come out on the machine and i was well, shocked. I never ever expected him to call me. I figured if anything, I’d see him around campus, you know how wifey is. but I invited him out this week and he said yes, so we’ll see.
huh.
go figure.

um, okay.

images_053

while working on modgirl.net, i was pursuing my gallery looking for an image of me to use on my page and found this attached here:
It’s written from an ex-coworker, and you know, sure!
From: Alby (Jul 22, 2003 04:53 PDT)
Can Heaven Wait Quarter after seven, got a phone call Telling me to get here quick Said your girl is in a bad situation They don’t know if she’s gonna make it As I hurry to be by her side I ask a thousand times, why oh why There’s no rhyme or reason in my life With you lying here this way I’d give anything just to trade places with you So I’m begging heaven down on my knees To help you make it through Tell me can heaven wait Can heaven wait just one more night Tell me what it’s gonna take To keep you with me in my life Giving up the shame of my other life Now I’m seeing things in a whole new light Lord, I vow to change if you just make it right Can heaven wait one night Thinking back on times that I’ve wasted I should have cherished every day All the different flavors that I tasted Can’t compare to you, no way As I reminisce by your side Tears of guilt are streaming from my eyes All the things I did that weren’t right Wish I could apologize I’d give anything if I could trade places with you So I’m beggin’ heaven down on my knees To help you make it through I’m gonna stop the world, reverse the time Do whatever it takes to keep you alive Heaven has to wait one more day Baby, take my breath so you can breathe I need you here so don’t you leave Heaven has to wait

nightly thoughts

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who lack motivation and determination. Nihilists, if you will. I can’t fathom or begin to fathom this attitude of “OH! WOE IS ME!” candor that seems to be sneaking around lately.
Case in my point, my ex Danny.
Danny is a jack of all trades kind of guy. He’s artistic (he’s a painter, creates wonderful things with chainmail and metal in general), he’s smart, he knows things. He’s got interests in EVERYTHING. He’s got a lot of talent in a lot of different areas and he just seems to UGH not want to do things. For instance, he’s had my grandmothers rocking chair for YEARS and has plans to sand it down, revarnish, paint and put it back together for me. This started when I was living in SF, to give you a clue how long he’s had this project. But he’s also completely remodelling his house (which is also admirable), so I haven’t been too pressed about it.
He’s also heavily tattooed, pierced in the right places (wink wink), bald , and hella cute. Smells damn good too.

Lisa and Danny, 2003.
Lisa and Danny, 2003.

He knows he lacks motivation and determination. He knows how I feel about this. I would have married him YEARS ago if it weren’t for this (and well a few other issues as well but those are relatively minor) and he knows that as well. Like tonight we were sitting at Don Pablo’s for dinner and he was telling me about this FANTABULOUS idea he has and I’m like DUDE, run with it. He refused. But I know him and so he said himself, projects that become well, PROJECTS take the fun out of it. We need to work on that some more.
But he’s not the only one.
A mailing list I’m on dedicated local pagans (well you know, gotta hang out with the freaks) has been heavy with discussion about people being laid off and yadda yadda, and it’s not that that bothers me, I know many who have been laid off but the lack of doing something ABOUT IT irritates the hell out of me. They placed the blame on everything but themselves and seem to lack resources to want to figure something out. My motto has always been “If there is a will, there is a way!” and it’s not just about getting help from others but shit, I’ve always pulled myself up by my own bootstraps and figured shit out. These people JUST DO NOT GET IT (not danny, he gets it, the ones on the mailing list). One girl started whining about how she could not afford college for her kids (She’s like, 21 if i remember) and I wrote this pithy piece on yes, funding is available and listed alternatives to college such as CC’s and used kethryvis as an example of someone who went in with an ultra low GPA and came out a fucking winner. I also used my gf Shelly as an example of someone who is interested in trade school to make a better living for themselves. I just can’t deal with this I’m so BLAH attitude. Paul had it too, I wanted to beat him senseless with my platform flipflop and that is ONE of the major reasons why I can’t deal with people. People asking for help should FIRST find help themselves for anything. Fuck, the internet is a WONDERFUL place and just sitting there with their thumb up their ass kills me.
So there you have it.
Picked up a few more Terry Pratchett books tonight. I can’t slug through HP:OOP again. I was about to beat Harry up the first go around. This is the worse of her five books BY FAR! Some guy at Best Buy when I was dropping off my piece of shit kodak camera (old one, not the new one) to get repaired, commented on my Grover tshirt. Couldn’t tell if he was flirting with me, it’s been too damn long since anyone has (at leas, f2f).
Still simmering about my prof’s comment from earlier. Drowned myself in Animal Crossing tonight and am about ready to go to bed (Yes, it’s 5:18am. Fuck off. I have coffee in the morning). Project due for my creative writing class on Saturday (last class of the summer). Sent in loan shit for this upcoming school year (totally paid for, not a cent out of my own pocket until I graduate in 15 trillion years). Went to the tattoo shop tonight and showed them what I’ve done with the website so far (just a splash page while I work on the back end stuff). Am relearning things and teaching myself new things. But they are very happy with it so far, which rocks. Now DEATH is paid for and future work will go towards new tattoos! woopie!
I’m audi 5000 g.

Here is the email from my Theology professor

I’m not sure what to say.

Good Morning, Mlle Rabey,
Here are the grades:
Final exam grade was 88.
Research Paper grade was 75.
Final grade for the course is 73.
Your final exam grade showed a significant improvement over the mid-term. That
mid-term exam is what killed you. Also, we need to work on your writing. There
is a lot of room for improvement in that department.
I hope the rest of your summer goes well.
Dr. M

It’s the End of the World as we know it…

I am tired as fuck.
My international biz class “work” comprised of 6 weekly assignments, a country paper, research paper and our debate, plus the exam which was take home. She wanted electronic copies of all of our work so I had burned her a cd with everything divided into neat little folders marking which each was. My presentation sucked last night but that had more to do with being tired than with not being prepared. The only ONLY thing I have left is my final which I started but never finished and it’s eight questions most of which the answers are in the book. A couple of people were not prepared to hand in their final papers last night (again, I was like the only one) and something that amused me was that the ditzy chick (also named lisa) who had been my partner ripped off most of my work for her presentation. Myself and one other girl were the only ones who had actual “hand outs” for our presentation so I knew I was going to do well in the grade department. Heh.
Came home last night, immediately changed into jammies and fell asleep on the couch watching BlackAdder II. Rowan Atkinson is so hot 🙂 Heh. I can’t wait for Johnny English to come out.
Woke up, climbed into bed and didn’t realise until I was snuggled in that I had NOT wrapped my tattoo and or put tattoo goo on it so now my arm is stiff with dryness. I’m not terribly worried about ink rejecting due to the dryness as I’m going in a month to have her finish the work and she’ll do touch ups then and I always heal really well even if I’m not up to par with the after-care as I should be.
Woke up at noon (so slept about 12 hours) and felt something crunchy under my legs. “My god!” i thought to myself, “I need to shave my legs, badly!” [I tend to shave everyday but have been slacking to cut time recently.] TUrned out to be dog food (??!?!?!) in my bed. Um, okay, not sure how to explain that one other than the dogs dragging it in bed with me since i was out like a light for 12 hours. Which is, amusing.
Today I’m heading out to get my hair done and then off to go pick up the tshirts for the family reunion for sunday. Have to buy an outfit for dinner tomorrow night dinner with mom and jeff and then it’s off to grab a portable cage for the dogs and then on to come home to finish the exam.
i’m telling you the fun never ends!