here we are, yet again

blew the dust off of scrivener a few weeks ago to see what horrors laid within and discovered two short stories i recently allegedly written. alleged as one of them is very well by me as it is about a serial dream i had several years ago but the voice and tone is slightly different and the other? the other i’m not so sure as there are glimpses of me here and there but the story and verbiage feels like someone else. does that make me hack? i’m so poor in creating my own world i must reach out to take someone else’s voice?

who the fuck knows.


lately i’ve been contemplating on changing my writing professional name to something else. sometimes i think lisa rabey is too tinged in controversy to move forward than i think i would find redemption in my writing life by keeping my name.


a piece of advice i received seemingly a lifetime ago was thinking about writing was also work. just because i wasn’t putting pen to paper didn’t mean i wasn’t doing something and that it just happened to be in a different space. i remain skeptical.


i’ve become a huge fan of newsletters in the last few months because why browse the internet for things to read when someone else is already doing it for you? many of the newsletters are written by writers who add essayists to their slashes (fiction/memoir/essayist would be my slashes) as well but are getting publication and maybe payment for their work because THEY ARE ACTUALLY PITCHING TO THESE WEBSITES.

i know — i’m as shocked as you are.

as i read their work, i became more influenced on what i could write and the list just keeps growing.

as of this writing, i have come up with 20 different pitch ideas and essays i’d like to write. maybe it’s not too late afterall.


it is seemingly convenient to forget when i was on a pitching spree last fall those pitches were accepted and some of them were paid gigs.


longtime readers of exit, pursued by a bear know i’ve been traveling / moving around a lot these last two years and many of my belongings continue to remain in boxes. much of these boxes have been repacked and renamed so i always slit the tape, check the contents, and then tape it back up to verify its contents when i land in a new place.

a couple of boxes remain what they are marked: notebooks. as one would guess, notebooks covers diaries, journals, other writing from my catholic tinged youth until my mid-20s. much of it is fiction, more of it is diaries. i’m afraid to read any of it because what secrets they hold may be just that – secret. but these boxes are comforting, they tell a linear story i seem to casually put on the shelf and maybe i am not the hack i continually tell myself to be.


here we are, yet again.


if you’ve been paying attention you get the subtext something is up and that something is i’m going to keep trying. even if i have to recoup and beat and recoup and beat until my dying breath on this topic of woe is me and woe is my writing life,

i’m going to keep trying because that is what i do.


i expressed my fears to the ex-husband, he who is my biggest fan, and he remarked he’s played thousand of hours of basketball but he’s always suspected he wasn’t quite good enough for the nba (though at 6’7, he’s certainly tall enough) and because of that he has never tried out. so maybe, he posited, that is what it’s like for me? maybe it isn’t about the name recognition, literary fame, or writing a solid story. maybe it’s just the sheer joy of writing that should sustain me.

i’ve been thinking about his comment and i’ve come to the conclusion it is not so much as being rich and famous but that i have a voice that i want the world to hear.

maybe that is all that matters.

fanciful delights for July 25, 2016

fancifuldelight-july252016
dear internet: here is compendium of things that struck my fancy this week. need more to read? check out the fanciful delights archive. x0x0, lisa

things i have written

witty bitches is throwing love to a piece i wrote for them a year ago.

books / movies / tv

i just finished a modern retelling of northanger abbey and apparently i have opinions on it. i started the fourth book in the mistress of the art of death series, a murderous procession. if you’re into lady power books about a woman doctor in medieval england, check that series out.
i saw Ghostbusters over the weekend and adored it. i still need to catch up on: Independence Day, Star Trek Beyond, Legend of Tarzan, The Secret Life of Pets, Ab Fab (the movie), X-Men Apocalypse, Love & Friendship, and Genius are a few off hand I need to see. don’t judge.

fanciful delights

this is going in the tmi category, but you can now get your sperm account via your iphone. here’s why the octopus has been used a lot in cartography. you can live straddled on the border of US and Canada and there is this tiny library  which is in Vermont AND Quebec, and you need a border guard to get through. allegedly. if you ignore someone, it’s called “ghosting” and yep, there is a bot to do it for you. while i’ll admit i have mixed feelings about zelda + scott (was she really crazy? did he steal her writing?), they are one of my favorite literary couples. having spent most of my adult life in long distance relationships, i thought this was pretty apt. more in the tmi realm, you can now have coloring pages of cunts. here is the long lost letter from neal cassady to jack kerouac. i don’t think i’ll make it writing about my life for six centuries but this family did. in one of the most remote inhabited areas in the world, socks are the stuff of love. i grew up with sassy. let’s pretend to not be surprised women that are bossy are treated as assholes. yeah, we should be paid for our art but some continue to think otherwise. why CAN’T condoms be cute? ayn rand was wrong — she who is most resilient is she who is most connected. if I can meditate, 383 consecutive days, then anyone can meditate. Having worked a bookstore was far more informative than getting a degree in English lit. Who knew Juggalos were so progressive? franny + zooey forever. now that i’m over 40, working long hours apparently makes me dumber.

This day in Lisa-universe: 2012, 2011, 2003, 2002, 1998

 

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fanciful delights for july 18, 2016

fancifuldelight-july182016
dear internet: Here are a compendium of things that struck my fancy this week. need more to read? check out the fanciful delights archive. x0x0, lisa

books / movies / tv

In my new job, I am doing a lot of data entry so it gives me time listen to a lot of audiobooks, which works in my favor for two reasons; I can catch up on my to be read piles and being read to while I work. if you’re into period mysteries, I would suggest Mr. Churchill’s Secretary and Maisie Dobbs, both beginning of respective series. In print books, I’ve been having a French moment. I always recommend Marian Keyes and Jane Austen pastiches. I also really enjoyed a novel that seemed to be parallel to my life. In need for a mindful pickup? Learn how to love or silly pug illustrations for a laugh.
There is too much going on in the TV world but currently I’m having a Scottish moment and I’m mainlining Monarch of the Glen.  TheExHusband and I recently saw Swiss Army Man, a flick that filled with quirks and farts but not surprisingly is quite good.

fanciful delights

Missed or haven’t seen Game of Thrones? Samuel L. Jackson will catch you up. Did you know writing will help you get a job faster, handle hard times,  and help with gratitude and allows you to understand the world? Then how you write gets boiled down to cooking terms. (See what I did there?) Now you all know why I keep an online diary. Hrm, I’v called corner stores “liquor stores,” “party stores,” and “convenience store.” What do you call your corner store? Part of mindfulness steps is to get rid of a lot of stuff. And to get cliched, do you know what your good life is? You can stop sabotaging yourself now. Haven’t we learned there is no pattern for creative people other than they have their own thing. Don’t forget Google knows all. Most people are beyond crueland are borderline sadists. Miss ’90s television? While Brexit looms, learn how Britain was unified. I’m always curious to know, scientifically, why I like the things I like.

This day in Lisa-universe: 20152014, 2012, 2011, 2003, 1999, 1998

 

Want to be the first in the know when a new entry posts?
Subscribe to the mailing list, Bloglovin’, or
follow via RSS. Want Lisa goodness but less
frequently? Subscribe to A Most Unreliable Narrator.
Want to start at the beginning?
Buy my book, The Lisa Chronicles: Vol 1: 1998