always on

Dear Internet,

I am growing sleepy and tonight is a perfect night to retire early. The last six weeks have been a travelling cornucopia of locations, time zones, and events. Surprisingly, I’ve mostly stable but the exhaustion of keeping myself normalized is wearing on me. These last few days I’ve been at home have been filled with lots of decompression. I still have THINGS TO DO but I’m pushing those things to the side for the moment to catch my breath.

There is a big announcement coming, from me, but I’m holding off for a final piece to fall into place before it happens. I already know the answer — thanks to Twitter — but I still need the official, OFFICIAL word so I can breathe a sigh of relief and move forward. TheHusband and I wrestled with what to do incase the answer shifted. While I could have seen us going in that direction, and it would have helped us grow in a lot of ways other than just my career, ditching everything and starting fresh yet again was slowly losing its appeal. Maybe that’s the sign I need to finally settle down: When the thought of a new adventure isn’t as golden as it perhaps seems.

While I know if we would have made that particular leap it would have been good, it is more that something was missing. Something is always missing and I feel like I’ve spent most of my life running to catch it. The big announcement itself is another adventure in its own right, but its an adventure I’ve been waiting on for years. So maybe then it is not about losing out on a golden adventure, but creating a perfect adventure specifically for me?

There is a whole wide world waiting for me and I bet it will look even better after I get some sleep.

xoxo,
Lisa

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