Hamlet is interesting if only for all the nifty quotes that were pulled and used in topical conversation these days. Also found it interesting that Hamlet’s phrase, “Get these to a nunnery” has double meaning: one referring to a convent and another to house of ill repute.
The house is quiet today, as both boys are upstairs taking a nap. Jeff and his friends were up till 3am making “breakfast” and I just cleaned the kitchen of all remains. When I’m done writing this entry, I’m taking a shower and heading to a grocery store to get food stuffs for tomorrow. I’m also going to be baking cookies tonight and hopefully I can make them more cookie like rather than scone like.
I also need to stop flirting with the cute boy who works at my local coffee shop. Megan and I were dancing to “Georgia On My Mind” in the shop one day when I had dipped her and she almost fell into a table containing condiments. He’s been looking at me weirdly ever since.
With FAFSA filed, I checked my credit report the other day to discover that I’m losing points for my student loans. Even though my credit is damn near stellar, points are dropping like flies with the more money added on. No word on when my mother’s SSDI major check will kick in, though her actual SSDI kicks in May 15. She told me over the phone a few days ago that she had hoped it arrived before my trip to Europe so that I could have a “good time” — which is thoughtful of her but considering flight, hotel, transportation and food is taking care of, I’m not sure what I’ll be spending money *on.* Oh, I’m sure I’ll find things, but with the USD dropping like flies, the USD is only worth .82 cents Euro. .54 cents UKP, I’m currently deathly afraid to part with my savings on anything “extra” right now.
My relationship with Patrick, the bloom has fallen off faster than a flan in a cupboard. It’s slowly lingering in purgatory, and it just needs a final “chop” to kill it. While he’s resolved to quit drinking, and I believe he has [too much at stake professionally for him to continue with his meandering ways], the relationship that seemed so promising is off. I don’t think it’s that we were not compatible, rather, it goes back to timing. For once I’m not going to berate myself for walking around with my heart on a sleeve and thrusting it to the first person who has shown real interest. I’m not afraid of being alone. One of these days I’ll change my status from “quirky together” to “quirky alone” and leave it at that. No pomp or circumstance behind it. I already cried my tears and my heart has already been broken. No need to relive it all over again.
I’ve been thinking of doing something drastic, such as chopping all my hair off. My bangs, which were Bettie page length when I moved, are down below my chin. I’ve been playing with my hair a lot recently and liked the way it looked, with the front long and angled up. It would mean 12-14″ cut off and as much as I adore the hair cut I want, I can’t part with cutting my hair yet. I decided to give myself another 6 months and if I still desire the major change, I’ll rethink it again.
I just want it to be known, I’ve never been afraid to be alone.