I realise this is going to come off as being super defensive and I’ll probably be generalizing a lot, so you’ve been forewarned. But typically I let little rants like this slide until I read the following: Real life is the way to go people.
Now, I do hope you were being sardonic when saying that considering how much time you spend on LJ bitching about lack of having a life/sex/girlfriend/job/self-esteem/hair. However, if you were being serious and not sardonic, then let me point out a few things to you.
When people start bitching about how dating on the internet is for losers, it usually comes from those who have:
a: Been burned badly by said forum of dating.
b: Lack social and mental skills to deal with “reality”
c: Are introverted and have very little to no dating experience.
ESPECIALLY coming from you, I’d say all the above were correct. Now, as someone who has publicly stated she’s been around the block a time or twelve, I will tell you there is no difference between dating someone next door or meeting someone on the internet. Dating, as a rule, is bullshit. The only thing that the Internet provides in contrast to “real life” is more of “cover” for your faults. I’ve met just as many assholes at bars/clubs/wherever as I have online, if not more so. I know just as many successful and not-so successful couples on and off-line. The medium no longer matters, what matters is what you want from the relationship.
Regardless where you meet someone, there is always a facade that you put face forward because you want to give a good first impression. As time goes by, that facade starts to decay. Yes, it’s easier to keep up that facade online but to what extent? Now, if you meet Ms Thing and you click, does it really matter where she lives? Now if Ms Thing starts hemming and hawing about meeting you, wouldn’t that be a clue to you something is wrong, just as if Ms. Thing locally stopped returning your calls or made plans with you? Use common sense. Someone was telling me about some episode of daytime TV they were watching where some woman was fooled for five years by her internet lover. Five years. Now, that woman is an idiot. After six months, I would have ended it but either way, I’ve had friends and I myself have been duped by “local” guys who weren’t all they were not supposed to be. People who are assholes are going to be assholes, regardless of what medium they choose.
You seem to think that those of us who have online relationships enjoy this type of thing. You give the impression that we cruise the online personals looking for hot sex because the locals just aren’t doing it for us. I did not choose to fall in love with Patrick. Now, the advantage I have is that I have known him for over eight years, but the bottom line is, it IS an online relationship when we are not together. I can’t believe you would seriously suggest that someone drop something that could be potentially the greatest thing on the planet simply because he lives a few states over.
As for the “real life” comment, technology has become too integrated into our daily lives to simply condemn it as a fantasy world. Do people do this? Yes, but they’ve been doing it long before the Internet became so accessible to the public, but all it is another medium for them to relay their roles. In fifty years, it’ll be something else.
So I would highly suggest before you start offering up opinions on the world of dating, that you actually proceed to have a date yourself. You can’t talk shit unless you have the experience to back it up, and you’ve made it quite clear that you have zero, therefore, your opinion is invalidated.
