Tag: LiveJournal

happy new years eve

I have a crush on someone and have for a long time. We are seperated by a great distance and there was always a hint of a little something something. I’ve kept myself in check because the relationship is decidedly one sided and I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I had to make a stand for myself and so I did.
(snipped letter I had here for all of five minutes)
This wasn’t about romance or what have you but it was about respect. I just ended a horrid relationship where respect was not a trait and I want AND need to be friends with people who will give back to me what i give to them.
It took me four hours to write a few paragraphs.
He IM’d me at 11:58pm to wish me a Happy New Year.

Pussy Whipped Men

My high school sweetheart, whom i’ve remained especially friendly with after nearly half my life, is going back to GR for the holidays. He’ll still be there when I drive in and when I said “hey you have my cell, call me to do coffee.” he said “if i have time.”
If i have time.
Which strikes me about this is that he found time enough to buy me delicious toys from blowfish.com but when it came down to meeting for coffee he can’t be bothered.
I hate pussy whipped men.

drama update

Just to let you guys know I’ve heard from a few people this morning and most of it seems to be dismay at the immaturity and stupidity of the whole, surrounding idea. I’ve been told I’m welcome to come hang in a few of the back channels if I choose to, which I really appreciated. A few admins implied an O: was available if I wanted it and one came out and offered it to me last week when I told him what was bound to happen.
I’ll be back but not in 15 channels and not spreading myself thin.
You can’t have an irc habit for 7 years and go cold turkey.
I just need to chill, I think.

lost my O: so fuck everyone

I was told tonight that I had lost my O: on washington*irc due to “lack of trust” by my admin, which was translated into “my best friend thinks your a golddigging whore so i’m yanking it.”
what had happened, in my view, is that i would not sleep with his best friend, so said best friend decided to make my life uncomfortable and cause a ruckus, resulting in my removal from the undernet network as an ircop. well not that swift, took my admin a week before my admin did it but i knew it was coming and i’m was not surprised. the irony is that haela had warned me about said best friend months ago and i failed to listen to her. i’m sorry kara.
i don’t sleep with someone, they talk smack about me and i get punished. yay.
I can still irc if i choose to, my admin can’t stop me from doing that on that network. The problem was is that for nearly a year I was a fixture on several help channels and I’m unable to help them now. I am not going to be on irc for awhile to cool my jets. Spent far too much time on it anyways.
i’m wholly tired of the he said she said bullshit games that seem to follow me around like there is no tomorrow. i have ZERO idea what it is about me that people seem to want to step in and just cause a ruckus. In high school i was a whore due to some vicious rumour started that i had fucked the whole swim team (um, i was still a virgin at the time and it was nearly a gang rape i fought off). As i got older, people for some reason loved using me as a pawn to either get something or meet something. The irony is, the blind hope I had that it would dissipate as I got older only shows that it hadn’t.
I am 30 years old. I am definitely not a conventional type of person, but there are some fundamental truths or given beings that i think we all should have, and one of them being having good friends (ie people who won’t stab you in the fucking back). Or being honest with each other, or at least open minded. I am just so TIRED of all this fucking bullshit and the layers of BS people use to surround themselves. It makes me sick.
I’ll be back on irc eventually, but in the interim you can reach me via e-mail, or
icq: home: 1231211
work: uunetgrl
aim: home: lisaisamodgirl
work: uunetgrl
yahoo: modgirllisa
those are always up and running.
x0x0x

hell

what subjects that you are in hell:
http://www.mtv.com/onair/osbournes/
or
nlog
why i need to read my e-mail more often
from a laurell k. hamilton e-mail that was sent from her publisher:

Would you like to read A CARESS OF TWILIGHT before it’s published & tell
us what you think?
If you answered Yes, send an e-mail message to delrey@randomhouse.com
with the subject “CARESS-review request.” Include your snail-mail
address. We will choose twenty readers randomly from all the requests we
receive. The deadline to request an advance reader’s edition is midnight
on February 19; books will be sent out immediately thereafter. Reviews
are due back to us by March 19.

and I read it today, the 20th.
the gods hate me, I know this to be true!
CopyCats
So I post the random teen blog generator at 12:03pm and then check my friends list later on to notate that they have now started putting it in their LJ.
damn people, get your own schtick! this is all mine.
I love you all still.

warm weather

the warm weather is making everyone cranky.
At least here in Northern Virginia.
We’ve been having an un-seasonal spurt of warm weather, which naysayers are saying is due to Global Warming. It’s been in the high 60s and low 70s for nearly two weeks now and it’s scary. December should be the month for chilly weather, boots and fires. Not me wearing pedal pushers and flipflops.
Maybe it’s the drugs I’m on, maybe it’s because the holiday season is drawing to a climax, regardless of the reason, I’m a bit angry that the one year I want to celebrate xmas and all the trimmings, it feels like we are living in Miami.
bah. humbug.
[Originally published at LiveJournal]

busy as a bee

I never did finish my NaNoWriMo novel, but congrats to the people who did. I had issues, matter and concerns happen in November and it was perhaps the overwhelming stress of trying to be wonder woman that I just threw down my lasso of truth and said ‘fuck it’.
modgirl.net has been nicely updated, much more than my LJ, which is fine. My new project was installing and using the patch for greymatter to add all the old entries in my journal and use a database instead of doing it singlehandedly. If you want to read the past, be my guest. I suppose I have this fetish that I need to get this completed sometime in my life. I have this fantasy where my children will find the web page and get a better understanding of my life. Nothing like living in the ether.
[Originally published at LiveJournal.]

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