Cathleen has just left to go to Rob’s and Irene is holed up in her bedroom area on the phone. The afternoon has been mild at the least. I woke up at earlier this afternoon with Cathleen barging into my room. I didn’t blame her. I told her I would get up early to go grocery shopping so that we could do some sort of Easter dinner. But when she had attempted to wake me up earlier in this morning, I think I sort of grumbled and flipped around in my bed. I think it was about 10 a.m., I can’t remember specifically.
Last night I caught a cab home from (I give up forever to touch you) the subway station and I ended up sharing it with a couple and another person. The couple were young (mid 20’s or so) and the guy was sitting next to me. I don’t know what it was about him, he wasn’t all that attractive to me, but his smell just drove me nuts! This is a good thing.
(You bleed just to know you are alive.)
I have this weird thing about smells. It’s not cologne (though Obsession/Eternity/Ferenheit/Davidoff Cool Water tend to get my juices flowing) per se, but it’s like someone’s essence. I can “smell” them before anything else. When I go hang out with my friend Michael, sometimes his smell isn’t pleasant, so i refrain from hugging him. It’s not body odor, it is something else that I’ve never really explained other then it’s an aura type thing. One of my best friends in high school Josh, had this most incredible smell. I used to just hug him all the time to get nearer to it. He didn’t think I was weird, though we both did joke that if by bottling it and selling it, I would have amassed a fortune. Someone mentioned that it was probably pheromones that were playing havoc with my nose. I don’t know what it is, but I can never clarify it enough to give a logical response.
Today is Easter Sunday. I forced Cathleen to go grocery shopping (hence why she came barging into my room earlier today) so that we could get ham, scalloped potatoes, rolls and the like. I’ve tried calling my mom to wish her a Happy Easter, but I got my brother’s voice on the answering machine instead of my mom’s. Odd. He’s been home for a total of three days and he’s already taking over. I wonder if he misses it. I know that he hasn’t been back since August of 1997, so I wonder how he is accepting the changes.
This afternoon, Irene came into the living room (I’m a lucky man, with fire in my hand) while Cathleen and I were talking about Ty. She made a comment about how that we were both out of here, that she’s already rented out our rooms to others. What transpired was this conversation, where we basically were in the right and Irene was in the wrong. It felt good to stand up for myself and not back down. I need to do that more.
Speaking of which, since I told my father that I no longer wanted to be in contact with him anymore, he’s been calling a couple of times a day, every day. Shelly says that in a way, I am being irrational about the whole subject, but, I don’t think so. Both he and my mother have used me as a pawn for the last 25 years and I don’t want to be a chess piece any longer. I’ve got to prove, at least to myself and especially them, that I am an adult and I can provide for myself. I’ve been doing a pretty good thus far, so I think.