insomnia strikes again

it’s apparently 2:33am and I’ve spent the better part of these early hours whittling down my email inbox from close to 60 personal emails to below 20. Some of you may think this is nothing — but — some of these go back over six months ago. I’m horrid, I know. So what happens when I whittle down my email? Inbound mail is spool’d and Moe is sleeping so I can’t kick him to unspool it. Murphy’s law #1.

As many of you may have noticed, modgirl.net is now up and running. however, while the main page looks okay, the archives and everything else i was salvaging from modgirl.net hasn’t been moved over yet. I’ve updated a few things on the premise that when i do the site redesign sometime this week, I’ll have everything up and clean. fresh start. what is even funnier is that modgirl.net is still getting massive hits but very few are trickling over here. which is fine by me i guess — i was getting disturbed by how people were finding me via my entries. what was interesting to note was that the NUMBER ONE THING for keyword that brought people to my site was “obsessive/compulsive/anxiety”. oh of course, sex ranked up there in the top 5, but i was just astounded by how many of my hits were coming from my cryptic discussions on the above diseases.

i am doing — okay.

that is about the only word i can describe at 2:37 in the morning right now. I’m on this mania high. my goal was to return all the email my cousins had sent me after my father had died (which i never did) and all the personal email in my inbox that i had not replied to in eons. one person (who thankfully has three email accounts) had his email bounce back to me twice (from two of those accounts). i was sitting there adding my “rings” to my brand spanking new yahoo id! (gotta love creativity — i refuse to have any “name” with numbers, underscores, hyphens or any other alphanumeric in it).

lately there has been this rash of “self-help” in the people who i know. everyone seems to be either sick, getting over themselves or making attempts to get better whether it’s physically, emotionally or just over all well-being. I’ve got five people using breathe-right strips after i told them it helped with me stop sleeping with my damn teeth grinding.
people are going to chiropractors, doing yoga and generally feeling more feisty.

the change in the weather has helped me calm down enormously. i no longer feel angry and when i do — it’s over something silly. I’m attempting to kid myself that I’ll wake up in three hours and be able to function.

but on the other hand, while i attempt to take a look at life and things around me (like noticing the sky the other night driving home and the sun filtering between the break in the clouds) or designs I’m seeing everywhere in nature, man-made and what not, slowly, very very very slowly; I’m starting to relax.

not much mind you.

but enough.

now only if i can stop eating Mickey d’s, my life would be complete.

x0x0x0x
lisa