I know you were just sitting there today going “you know, i really need to know what a sonohysterogram is and i really need to know why you would want one.” i bet you even wondered what the procedure was like! well sure folks, I’ll be more than happy to help!
nothing says loving like having me laying on an examination bed, feet in stirrups and the lower half of my body totally exposed waiting for a doctor to shove a two foot catheter up my cunt to find out what the hell is wrong with me. that, i suppose is a bit more detail but hell, your in luck, you are getting more.
the procedure is where they take the ‘probe’ (this is what the nurse called it, I’m not kidding) that’s about two feet long and looks like a dildo with an a/c adaptor. She threw a condom and lube on the probe and inserted it into my vagina. From that point, I could see the internal walls of my uterus, my ovaries and you know, it’s just not the most attractive sight I’ve seen. After probing me for awhile and taking pictures, she removed the probe, had me relax and wait for the radiologist to come in.
His job was more fun. He got to take a speculum, open up the entrance to my vagina, then take a 2 foot catheter and shove that through until it hit the opening of my uterus where the endomitral opening was. There is a small balloon at the end of the catheter that he inserted that they use an syringe full of water to expand. The balloon will start to expand slowly the opening of the endomitral wall and so they can peer inside of my uterus. Now, after having the catheter shoved in, we find out that the speculum they used is ‘too small’. This is something every girl wants to hear right? That she’s gappy? Remove catheter, remove speculum and repeat procedure. Once they started injecting the water, i feel water running down inbetween my legs. It seems that my uterus is contracting and won’t allow the catheter to enter. Repeat procedure again. Still no go. OH! did i mention that they shoved the ‘probe’ back up there to watch all this occur?
Now you are probably wondering ‘lisa, that sounds masochistic’ and you know what, it is and your right. Now why would I choose to have this procedure done?
Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOD/PCOS) is very hereditary in my family. My maternal grandmother had ovarian cancer and gave birth to 12 children with one ovary. My mother had PCOD and was told she could never have children. I show all the classic signs of PCOD/PCOS and so at first I had to take blood tests. Turns out the tests were a false negative because I was on the pill when I took them and they would regulate my hormones. Go a few months without birth control and then they redraw the blood. Go back to the Ob/GYN and find out that the tests were still normal and nothing odd was showing up (ie thyroid, diabetes or testrosone). Doctor suggests the sonohysterogram to see physically if there is anything wrong. My periods are messed up for the lack of the better word and i betcha that it’s all caused by stress.
I bet you even wanted pictures of the procedure. I even included those in the email. Aren’t i just sweet?
Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to bed.
My cunt hurts.