montage part i (2014)

Dear Internet,
Below is bits and pieces of entries I wrote and never posted for some reason. They are posted out of context because in some cases, up to years later, I don’t recall my train of thought that started or was to end them. Enjoy them, fragmented thoughts and all.


Goodbye Grand Rapids (Again)
Grand Rapids, had, in many ways been good to me. It is here I had my first kiss (Nick Hill). It is here that I learned how to drive; how to roll a joint; and went about discovering myself. It is here that I owned my first home, lived with a husband, and received my first degree.
TheBassist has been in town for the last week to help me prep for Natalie’s wedding and help me pack up my little apartment to move to parts south. The week has been insanely busy, with most days us out and about for 10-12 hours at a stretch. It was nice having a look through this city through his eyes as with them, I developed a crush on Grand Rapids that had long been missing.
There is a lot to be said for this city and its’ stories, but I am not one of the narrators.
I always felt this city was no place for me. I still feel that way. I will always be a wanderer of the parts unknown. Not as glamorous as Karen, who knocks off continents when most people count counties, but wandering all the same. I thought for sure ThePlan would for sure guide me in the right direction


When Things Fall Apart
As I sat on my nominally comfortable couch this morning at my shrink’s, telling him of the last events in my life up until that moment, he kept commenting on my apparent calmness. Here I was, sitting there drinking my mint mocha latte with soy and feeling, well, pretty calm. Caffeine was not jacking me up and while I was looking a bit disheveled (I woke up late and didn’t have time for a shower), all in all, I felt fairly at peace with the world.
If you look over the events of my life in the past year, this seemed very odd indeed. I was embroiled in a lawsuit, divorced my husband, and crisscrossed the US too many times to count. I am living in a small apartment, my savings dwindling faster than a dog’s winter coat, wondering what the next step is.
Irons are in the fire, as they are wont to be, but…


that which I fear

I’ve been thinking about fears and my peccadilloes…


Top 5 Breakups

  1. Justin (TheExHusband), part i and ii
  2. Thom (TheBassist) part i, part ii
  3. Miguel
  4. Jon (TheEx)
  5. Chuck


heinrich maneuver

It’s December 1. How is the year almost over?
In November, Grand Rapids received 31″ of snow which is half the amount the city I’m currently in received all of last year. I laugh because TheBassist offered to shovel my car out when the snow hits and I thumped my chest declaring where I was from. Puny humans and their weak snow showers are no match for me!
It’s been a solid week since I’ve been on the drugs and so far I’m starting to see some relief insofar my moods are stabilizing and I’m not yo-yoing everywhere. However, mania has ramped up a titch but I’ve been trying to channel it into good (like sorting out holiday shopping and cards) and getting some writing work done. I will have to ditch caffeine again because of the drug changes, which is fine. I happen to like decaf coffee just fine, though the sweet, sweet nectar that is Coke will be hardest to kick.
The combo of Abilify/Lamictal I’m currently on could take 5-8 weeks to stabilize, though some friends have said they felt pangs of relief in the first week or two. Since my drug metabolism tends to be faster, which is part of my fucking problem mediating the bipolar, I could see results much sooner. The household I’m in is well versed in variety of mental disorders, including bipolar, so I am at least safe hands while I go through this drug regime again.
We, TheSoonToBeExHusband and I, will have some relief of stressors soon as the house closes in the next few weeks and the divorce finalizes in the next few months. I’m still in a holding pattern for…


Love Actually Is All Around
That’s it. Nothing else matters.
But when you’ve been looking your entire life for this thing and when you’ve been running your entire life from the things that hurt you, you get bogged down on the tangibles rather than the intangible. You put a price on love because western society dictates that love is not the sum of the human heart or what the body can give, but what can be provided as proof of love.


Enter Title Here

In the fall of 2013, N3wsbank emailed the public services librarian at MPOW with a complaint about me. It seems I had said something disparaging about N3wsbank on Twitter and what was MPOW going to do about it? The public services librarian, who was contacted because she was listed as the contact for N3wsbank, immediately fired an email of apology for my behavior and then notified my director of the supposed transgression.

Several days after that occurred, I received a cryptic email from my director about my participation on social media and would I like to meet with her? Via email, I asked her to clarify what she meant so I could prepare for the meeting. She refused. She implored to meet with her immediately in her office.
During the meeting, I was told of the above scenario. I asked for a copy of N3wsbank’s email (which six months later I never received) and a copy of the offending tweet. N3wsbank apparently never followed up with the offending tweet nor was there any, to my knowledge, return phone calls from N3wsbank’s VP of Sales (who apparently also called my director as well as emailed the public services librarian) about my alleged digression.


Welcome to Pontyberry, Boyle, and/or Portwenn

Port Isaac, Cornwall, the setting for Portwenn. Via Wikipedia Commons

Population 1.
I watch a fair amount of television, which is a nice way of saying I watch an absolute disgusting amount of it.


Le mie passioni, parte 4: BBC History
(Le Mie passioni, Italian translation of “my passions,” is a an occasional series of things I really, really love.)

Dear Internet,

A couple of years ago, I started a project, entitled Le Mie Passioni, occasionally documenting all of the things that I really and truly love. Italian for “my passions,” it was to kind of give insight of things I’m digging on a grand scale instead of flavor of the week.

While I was still working at $corporate_bookstore a couple of years ago, one of my coworkers, Mr. Troy, made the recommendation to me of his favorite magazines and books right before I left the employ of the store to finish my



This Day in Lisa-Universe: 1999

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