obsessions

I am a Gemini.

Sometimes I can be Obsessive/Compulsive

Mostly I’m just manic/depressive, but that is another story.

my mind is on a different tangent. I start sentences and finish my other thoughts FIRST.

i can carry on multiple conversations at once.

I’ve got an idea book of all the things i want to do in my life time. i actually keep a running TO DO list because I’m afraid I’ll forget something and chastise myself later for doing so (when i remember).

i compare my brain to a scsi harddrive — ‘cept it never winds down.

sometimes i concentrate on the blue spot. sometimes i fantasize about girls. other times i think about what I’m NOT doing at the moment.

i can’t stand not being somewhere without something to read — anything — as long as i can kill time (and if i don’t have my journal to write in ). statistics turn me (i should know — i check mine almost hourly), numbers appease me.

everything in its place — every place has its thing.

the world is not black and white it is about grey.

which is one of my favorite colors.

this is about OBSESSION. some people would say i was smoking crack — others say that i haven’t found my calling yet — still others think i need to get a life.

whatever.

i obsess over different things.

in the 80’s it was over Levis’ posters, men named Chad, Nick and Chuck. teddy bears, James Dean, Holden Caulfield, Gone with the Wind. Oreo Cookies and Perrier water (mixed with ranch Doritos). I wrote crappy poetry, love letters to people who didn’t exist and attempted to study Mormonism by mail.

Maybe I wanted to find God.

In the 90’s, the Internet spurned off so many obsessions, I need a Rolodex to keep track of them all. Mens in far away places, internet, writing, lack of sleep, cigarettes, diet coke, music, books, great sex, a playful dom/sub relationship and host of other things.

people say I’m obsessive when i become anal retentive about things.

i can’t stand having sex with socks on.

or messy hair.

or phony people.

i get more picky as time goes on.

i like obsessing over people.

exboyfriends in particular.

most of my obsessions never last long.

a particular band, author or a man.

i get bored.

and move on.

i find that by obsessing over things makes me feel good.

i like melodrama in my life.