Dear Internet,
We’ve recently discovered RuPaul’s Drag Race, which shockingly I haven’t been watching before this. If you need to get your fix, seasons 4 through current are on Hulu. It’s like Project Runway, but much cattier and funnier; an obvious perfect complement.
Expect my mouth to get raunchier thanks to new phrases and saying I’ve been picking up, like “cock sucking dick pigs,” courtesy of Jinkx Monsoon! Which speaking of Ms Jinkx, the episodes we’ve seen so far (seasons 4-6), she’s by far my favorite queen. There is something about her, even though it would seem Sharon Needles or Bianca del Rio are more my speed, that grabs at bits of me and wakes me up.
(We’ve started on season 7 and in one word: meh.)
The resonation of Jinkxy comes from a few weeks ago when someone on the internet made various disparaging comments in regards to my writing. (I know, I know, I KNOW.) The sum of which can be distilled down that I was/am a pompous, illiterate hack. The thing was this didn’t feel like your average internet trolling — this felt personal. Very personal. The person, of course, hid behind an anonymous name but I have my suspicions. I may be way off base on who it was but the commentary hurt. A lot. It’s been banging around my brain as if none of the small steps I’ve taken have amounted to really anything or what’s been published is worthy. I have my fans but then again so does Dan Brown.
This phenomenon is known as imposter syndrome which according to Wikipedia is, “…a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments.” I first became aware of this in the tech community, primarily women, who struggled with their accomplishments in a male dominated world. I didn’t really see myself, then, as having a modicum of feeling under accomplished but stepping back recently in this new world I’ve created for myself, I can see it whole heartedly.
The biggest of the impostering happening is for my writing, which is why the anonymous c0ward’s comments was a broadsword into my side.
A few weeks ago, Jim C. Hines, in a nod to the Hugo awards kerfuffle, discussed a recent conversation within the SF/F community about the “cool kids.” The tl;dr breaks down that several of the sad puppies accused the more well-known of authors / personalities within the community of being too cliquey and why Hines, and others, reject theses ideas presented.
I remember in high school (and after) always feeling extremely left out of everything. No matter what group I was hanging with, there was always a clique within that group that seemed cooler than me. It never occurred to me those I deemed more awesomer of having their own insecurities, issues, and even jealousies. Basically the same as me and everyone else we know. Their feelings just felt impossible to believe they shat like the rest of us. All we ever see is the finished project not the pain, sweat, and tears that went into them.
It’s always hard to feel your worth, that your contributions are worthwhile, that you are worthwhile or matter. It’s hard to shake the demons snapping at you as you run towards your dreams.
Isn’t it easier to “what if” your way into not doing anything? Isn’t it easier to presuppose your failure before anything happens? Isn’t it easier to lock yourself in the closet of your brain and not do anything, ever?
It’s hard, I know, to move forward and do what you want. It’s hard to believe in yourself. I know it’s hard; I still don’t believe in myself 99.999% of the time. It’s hard to shake off the old demons that reverberate from your entire life. But you matter. Your work, your dreams, you matter.
Water off a duck’s back. Water off a motherfucking duck’s back.
xoxo,
Lisa
Tag: Project Runway
Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes for July 26, 2014
During the Renaissance, cabinet of curiosities came into fashion as a collection of objects that would often defy classification. As a precursor to the modern museum, the cabinet referred to room(s), not actual furniture, of things that piqued the owners interest and would be collected and displayed in an aesthetically pleasing manner. Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes is my 21st century interpretation of that idea.
Dear Internet,
You can follow me on Pinterest on what I’m reading, watching, and listening.
Reading
Finished
Sick of Shadows: Edwardian Murder Mysteries #3 by Marion Chesney
(Amazon | WorldCat | GoodReads)
Our Lady of Pain: Edwardian Murder Mysteries #4 by Marion Chesney
(Amazon | WorldCat | GoodReads)
(Reviews for book #1 and book #2)
There is no stretch in the research or imagination here, and if I had not been well attuned to Ms. Chesney/Beaton’s writing style from before, I would probably like the book even less but you know, at the end of the day, it’s a frippery of a read that while it may not have educated me, it did keep me entertained.
The Edwardian Mystery series provided a borderline dull, and often choppy, story arc of boy meets stubborn girl, boy handles his feelings badly, girl saves the day plotline that went three books longer than it should have. As I said in the review for the first book,
Books #3 and #4 were almost identical to books #1 and #2. There is really nothing I can say here that would be so markedly different from previous attempts to review the series other than to reiterate Beaton’s research prowess because that is where she shines.
If you’re looking for a story of substance, thought provoking, and full of win – this is not your series.
(Amazon | WorldCat | GoodReads)
Something is missing from this novel. It could have been a lot more and yet, it played it safe. You knew what was going to happen in the very end, because the author made it all painfully clear this is what is going to happen through the entire book. There was no twist. No surprises. Not even a really original thought going into this book given the author’s history (she lived in England for nearly a decade and had access to primary sources) and the fairly nice bibliography at the end of the book. The book is just mediocre and a let down, but it gets 3 stars because technically it is well written, even if the storyline seems meh.
The author could have made this really beguiling and filled with wonder, but instead she made it feel tightly corseted and maybe a titch overedited.
Pros
Story was fast paced and read quickly
Plot was pretty well organized and was linear
There was not an abundance of useless characters
When the author was on point about a scene, she got it brilliantly well (but this was more rare than one would hope)
Cons
Use of language: Edwardian England is a class filled society, yet everyone spoke the same: Her parents, Will, the French boys at the atelier, and so forth. She could have least tried to make an effort, but instead, this seems sloppy and lazy.
Colloquialisms: Example: In the beginning, she had her parents say “Oxford University,” despite no one actually calls it that. She would often fob Vicky’s use of American colloquialisms onto Lucy, Vicky’s best friend from America. Considering Vicky and Lucy are not BFFs for first half of the book, this doesn’t make sense.
Flavor of the period: Despite her meticulous research, you don’t feel like you’re in Edwardian England. Something is just off when she tries inject something that would give it a hint of realism, so then it feels stilted.
Character development: Other than Will or Vicky, you don’t really get a sense of who these people are. Even Vicky’s mother, whom we find out has a connection to Vicky’s choice in life, seems to be absently shallow.
Watching
- The Bridge
The unbearable hotness of Demian Bichir is baaacccckkk! This time with more depressing topics. In the few episodes shown thus far, the storyline feels tighter and better thought out; there is less a million sub plots thrown against the wall to see what sticks and turning it into a hot mess. This show has grown on me but we cannot watch it every week because it’s just far too depressing. - Project Runway
It’s pretty clear the series doesn’t work without Heidi Klum. Tim Gunn’s Under the Gunn was an interesting twist to the format, but it seemed stilted. Project Runway – All Stars, which is sans Klum, also doesn’t have the same appeal. Klum just cannot leave. The End. Can we also request that Michael Kors not ever leave? Zac Pozen is no where Near Kors’ brilliance or bitchiness and Pozen feels overwrought half the time when he starts critiquing. TheHusband has already picked out who will win season 13 based on the very first episode. I wonder if he is right. - The Almighty Johnsons
NZ show that is now being carried on SyFy here in the States; the premise is four brothers who become gods on their 21st birthdays, in reincarnated forms of the old Norse gods. Throw in destiny, some goddesses out to destroy, and half-hearted prophecy and boom, TV show. Interesting concept, not terribly well executed, but is loads better than what is available on most channels.
Weekly watching: The Leftovers, True Blood, Rectify, Halt and Catch Fire, A Place To Call Home, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Cosmos: A SpaceTime Odyssey, Elementary
What have you read/watched/listened to this week?
x0x0,
lisa
Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes: October 26, 2013
During the Renaissance, cabinet of curiosities came into fashion as a collection of objects that would often defy classification. As a precursor to the modern museum, the cabinet referred to room(s), not actual furniture, of things that piqued the owners interest and would be collected and displayed in an aesthetically pleasing manner. Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes is my 21st century interpretation of that idea.
Dear Internet,
Writing
Ephemera – Prose Companion to The Lisa Chronicles
- astrology
- the autobiography
- bluespot
- idea book
- manic/depressive
- the players
- women
Short Fiction
- in stereo
Watching
- Project Runway
- American Horror Story: Coven
- Breathless
Weekly watching: Atlantis, Homeland, Masters of Sex, Elementary, Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Sleepy Hollow, Survivor, Downton Abbey, Boardwalk Empire, Doc Martin, QI, Peaky Blinders, The Newsroom, Sons of Anarchy, The Vampire Diaries
Links
- “The Morrissey generation is running the country, and even if they came from Preston or Hull or Lanarkshire, and shared a background not unlike his, they are now closer, in just about every way – security, capital, lifestyle – to the likes of David Cameron than some young lad from Manchester.”
- Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex?
- Christian Louboutin’s new shoe line shows that ‘nude’ is a color spectrum
- Octavia Spencer Is Rebooting Murder, She Wrote
- Comcast’s HBO + Internet Plan Is the One You’ve Been Waiting For
x0x0,
lisa
This day in Lisa-Universe in: 2010
Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes: July 27, 2013
During the Renaissance, cabinet of curiosities came into fashion as a collection of objects that would often defy classification. As a precursor to the modern museum, the cabinet referred to room(s), not actual furniture, of things that piqued the owners interest and would be collected and displayed in an aesthetically pleasing manner. Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes is my 21st century interpretation of that idea.
Dear Internet,
Watching
- Project Runway
Season 12 has started and some changes are afoot, like having Tim Gunn sit on the runway walks and also usomg his powers to pull someone from the edge, are too early to see if they will work or not. I am thrilled they have done away with all the team challenges as they did as the twist in Season 11, but can’t they just stop fucking with the recipe and leave it be? I also miss Michael Kors something awful, which surprised me, considering I was side talking him all the previous seasons. There are some designers I’m ready to gouge their eyes out (hello #designerTimothy), but even this doesn’t necessitate good television. Has Project Runway lost its edge?
Weekly watching: The Newsroom, True Blood, Sons of Anarchy, Burn Notice, Borgia, DaVinci’s Demons, The Borgias, The Vampire Diaries
Links
- “Blurred Line” Gender Reversal
- Jane Austen to be face of the Bank of England £10 note
- Medieval Pet Names
- The British Library has a wonderful Pinterest board showcasing libraries in films and movies
- The Great Gatsby Chart: A chapter-by-chapter breakdown of the comings and goings of characters in the The Great Gatsby.
- Meditate Without Sitting Still: Turn Everyday Actions into a Practice
x0x0,
Lisa
Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes: April 27, 2013
During the Renaissance, cabinet of curiosities came into fashion as a collection of objects that would often defy classification. As a precursor to the modern museum, the cabinet referred to room(s), not actual furniture, of things that piqued the owners interest and would be collected and displayed in an aesthetically pleasing manner. Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes is my 21st century interpretation of that idea.
Dear Internet,
This week has been insane as I prepped for and am now at C2E2, so things are a bit light in terms of watching and linking. I’ve also been off of my ADHD drugs now for about a week and it has been glorious! I feel like this is the first time in ages I have felt myself and I’ve been wrapping that feeling around me like a coat.
Watching
- Project Runway
The season has finally ended and truthfully, one of the worst seasons yet. I called it who was going to win within the first few episodes, and I was thrilled to see my prediction was right. While this is a nice show for filler, can we have less crying and emotional break downs and more drama in the work room? Actually, it doesn’t have to be drama but SOMETHING, ANYTHING to create good TV because it certainly wasn’t there this season.
Weekly watching: DaVinci’s Demons, Justified, Mad Men, Nurse Jackie, The Borgias, Veep, Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, Vikings, The Vampire Diaries, Elementary, The Americans.
Links
- 30 things to tell a book snob
- Meet the 28-Year-Old Grad Student Who Just Shook the Global Austerity Movement
- Why Embracing Slash is Good for Everybody
What have you read/watched/listened to this week?
x0x0,
Lisa
Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes: February 2, 2013
During the Renaissance, cabinet of curiosities came into fashion as a collection of objects that would often defy classification. As a precursor to the modern museum, the cabinet referred to room(s), not actual furniture, of things that piqued the owners interest and would be collected and displayed in an aesthetically pleasing manner. Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes is my 21st century interpretation of that idea.
Dear Internet,
This past week, I had surgery to fix a permanent “squirrelly suture” that was a result from my surgery last summer. Since Tuesday, I’ve been spending most of my days in a lovely drugged haze, in which I have just enough attention to watch a lot of vaguely bad TV in between my gentle snores. The recovery is, fingers crossed, planned to not be as exacting as last summers. I go back to the ortho docs on February 18th for follow up, with hopes to go back to work on February 19th. I’m zero weight baring, so the knee scooter is back. But I spend my days in bed, foot elevated, zoning in and out depending on when I’ve taken the drugs. Shortly after I came home from the surgery, Kristin and I had to write up a proposal for conference submission and it was the hardest thing I could ever do, because I could not concentrate long enough to cobble two sentences together. Somehow we managed to get the proposal together, but the sheer amount of will it took to write that proposal told me I was not cognizant enough to do anything serious this week. Give me a few days, and I’ll have more of a proper update for you.
Watching
Hyperdrive
I plowed through the entire series in one day. Quick, short, and dripping in sci-fi cultural references, it’s great fun!
Red Dwarf
Beloved cult classic, I started on season one this week and mixed it up with Hyperdrive.
Fringe
Another show I missed when it first aired, so playing catch up via Amazon Instant Video.
Also watching: Spartacus, The Americans, Archer, and Project Runway.
Links
- Downton Abbey as envisioned as a SNES game
- For sale: a Hemingway story, never written
- William Shakespeare gave the English language over 2000 words, here are 20 of them.
x0x0,
Lisa
