Dear Internet,
It’s late in the evening, ticking towards midnight [now significantly past midnight, thanks mania!], and we’ve been sloths all day. Not too surprising, with the current weather we’ve been having, leaving the house would be borderline stupidity. To be fair, TheHusband and I were at the gym on Saturday, coupled with an hour spent shoveling this morning from the first part of the snows, we feel like we’ve got our exercise in for the weekend. But also to be fair, my own silliness for not taking any kind of drug before gym tripped my arthritis up and while the pain has been moderate, it’s still annoying and it has meant I’ve been spending a lot of time with my leg up rather than being active.
Monday has been called a snow day across the midwest as the snows have started to come down, including MPOW, which makes me slightly sad as I’m naturally off so I can’t claim a snow day in jubilation. My nearly four week holiday comes to an end on Wednesday and I’m both slightly delighted and slightly not. I watched a lot of telly, read a few books, wrote a lot here, and did a lot of research for my book. My MIL was in town for a week, we stayed in on New Years, my dragon tattoo fill started, and I wore a lot of sports bras. Not a bad staycation overall.
But.
I need structure. If there is anything this vacation has finally drilled in my head, I thrive in structure. When we were getting up in the mornings early, setting our rhythms for the day, I found I was more productive than when left to my own devices. As much as my inner bad girl grits her teeth while admitting this, sometimes chaos is not always the best answer.
Monday, I will start prepping to get back into work mode. My brain has been in hibernation for the last month, so it’s time to take off the sports bras, yoga pants, loose t-shirts and get things back in order. To get this in the right frame of mind, I cleaned out my personal inbox today so if you are wondering where the email I owe you is, you should get it in the next day or so. If we talked about doing projects together, I’ll start getting in the groove for those as well. Monday, I’m also planning on sorting mail, finishing up bills, and maybe taking down the Christmas tree.
While we were absolute sloths during our staycation, we did join the local Y the day after Christmas (via online of course). As it turns out my brother and his girlfriend, my tattoo artist and his wife, my friend Liz and her husband also joined within the same week. It’s time to walk, yoga, and swim. Saturday, during the break of the snows, TheHusband and I scrimmaged playing basketball, where I was not as bad as I thought. We kept getting run over by little kids playing soccer, all wearing European team gear, with one of their parents yelling drill instructions in Italian, which were often punctured by our “goddammits” when we missed shots.
I played basketball all through primary school (but not secondary) and some of the old drills came back to my hands as if I was 12 all over again, not nearly 42. I hate watching the game, but apparently I can get into playing it without a second thought. I give no fucks about NBA, March Madness, or Top 10 or anything basketball related.
In the guilt department, the damned post about being fit has been sitting in my drafts folder since December 2012. I am promising myself this is not going to be another year in which it gathers dust, but talking about being crazy is far easier than talking about being fat because you can’t judge crazy by looks alone.
Speaking of crazy, I’ve been caffeine free since January 1. I have been reading some personal anecdotes as well as studies about the effect of caffeine on bipolar and decided to create a one person sample study – me. On one (and many) of my drugs I was on in 2013 for my ADHD, caffeine was off the table since it amped up the effects of the drugs, which are stimulants, for me. Again, a lovely side effect that affected no one else I knew had. I know many ADHD sufferers who self-medicate with caffeine sans the drugs, but I was finding that maybe that is not working for me since caffeine feeds into my mania. I was already cutting caffeine out of my diet after 12PM, and had been for ages, coupled with my caffeine free existence in 2013 for a bit, maybe it was worth a go to see what would happen.
Not surprisingly, I have felt a lot more stable in the last few days then I had in the last month, and my brain has been less foggy. My ADHD has been getting symptomatic. Crazy or unfocused — oh how shall I ever choose?
It’s now significantly past the witching hour and I need to get to bed. Or pretend to. Or something.
[The internal network went down while I was writing this so I missed my midnight deadline, so I’m backtracking this to 23:59.]
x0x0,
Lisa
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