swf iso swm who is tall and funny but never grumpy

i love reading personal ads.

i was going to say that “i don’t know what it is about them” but i do know: i love reading about other peoples desperation and loneliness. makes me feel like i’m not as f00ked in the head as i sometimes think i am.

back in the day, a very close friend of mine and i were doing “alternate” personalities via Yahoo! ads. he put an ad up and i replied as “something else other than lisa”. it was shits and giggles and we had fun doing it. basically we would get as blunt as possible to see if anyone would reply to our ad. they never would though, it was just kinda amusing for our sake.

the thing that tripped me out the most was the fact that i pulled up the “m4w” section looking for “everything” in Yahoo! Grand Rapids Metro (haha — yeah right) — and nearly 1000 ads came up. 1000. ads. I was like “jesus christ — what’s going on here?” and so i went reading the ads to see what WAS up — and as I suspected:

  1. Most men were married or in some sort of relationship already looking for a “discreet” sex partner. Wifes approval not necessary.
  2.  Some were quite blunt in listing just sexual interests.
  3. Others were looking for “activity” partners — which reading between the lines followed up with #2.
  4. Those who /were/ looking for love, seemingly were quite desperate about it “i’m a shot balding CCR, divorced 2x with 4 kids.” It scared me.

I think that the thing that gets me is that we can learn so much about our society as a whole from reading our personal ads. yeah true, there is no better way really to meet someone of like interests, but they are all these dyed in the whole, hypocrites. i mean, why the fuck get married if you are going to be cheating on her? why stay in a relationship if you ain’t getting all your needs met? I don’t understand this.

maybe it’s not really about the personal ads per se, but that whole “religious true republican” facade i grew up with while living in Grand Rapids. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with personal ads. When I first moved to SF, I placed an ad in one of the local on-line newspapers — i wanted to meet people for pete’s sake. what i got was actually a bunch of bmw driving, cell phone carrying, wine drinking, coding freaks. i dunno. my roommates and i went on a calling spree one night and met up with some guys off of one of the ads (all of us later lucked out) — but it seems to me that for the most part, these ads never really convey the whole person. I mean, yeah it’s great that your this that and then some, but how can you discrene who really is for you by a few lines of text?

i really am beginning to hate 2-dimensional relationships. jaffo keeps kicking me in the ass and telling me to find a real man around here. i think he keeps forgetting that i live in SF — there are no real men — just a lot of faggots (i’m a fag hag, I CAN say that word).

besides.

i have a date coming up next week.

gots to look my best!

tomorrow i go to the doctor.

for the last month i haven’t been feeling too swift. i thought i was pregnant: two tests and my period proved me wrong. my stomach feels like someone shoved a air condenser up me and pumped away. it hurts. i can’t eat. i’m tired of none of my fucking clothes fitting.

basically, i’m feeling grumpy.

i dun wanna be grumpy. i have a tall southern boy i need to wrap around my finger in a little over a week.

i’ll let you all know how the doctor appointment went.

it’s probably just stress.

x0x0x0x0x0x,
moi

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