Dear Internet,
Here is a list of things I think about when I’m at the airport (which seems to be a lot lately), in no particular order:
♥ “Can you walk any slower?”
♥ “Wow, that’s a lot of people heading to Beijing!”
♥ “Ooooh. They have my Icelandic water.”
♥ “For the love of the gods, can you at least bathe once in awhile?”
♥ “The walk side of the people mover is not for you to stand on and chit chat with your friends!”
♥ “If your son doesn’t stop pulling the paper towels out of the holder and leaving a trail a mile deep across the bathroom, I will personally smack him.”
♥ “Incredibly, I don’t think 12 people are riding in first class on a plane that only has six first class seats.”
♥ “I wonder why my purse keeps riding my shirt up my back?”
♥ “I’ve been walking around with toilet paper on my shoe and no one told me?”
♥ “They want HOW MUCH for a pair of ear buds?”
♥ “I cannot believe I just paid $6 for a small bag of trail mix.”
♥ “May the gods forgive me for buying a lemonade at Chick-fi-La.”
♥ “Why does the TSA keep rooting through my bag?”
♥ “Oh no, you just did not bring your huge ass roller bag and tried to claim it as a carry on. Oh, you did. :(”
♥ *sneezing fit* “Fuck you very much lady with too much perfume on.”
♥ “At least one person is going to find me attractive.”
♥ “Statistically, there are psychopaths and sociopaths (functioning or otherwise) floating around this airport. *looks side to side*”
♥ Upon seeing an obvious couple, “I wonder, on average, how many times they have sex?”
♥ *thinks about various sexual positions said couple gets into. giggles.*
♥ *wonders how many people are falling in love at that very moment.*
♥ *wonders how many people are breaking up.”
♥ *wonders how her cats are doing in Neko Atsume; sims in Sim Freeplay, and animals in Animal Crossing or any game she is currently playing.*
♥ “Why in the gods name is my connector in another terminal!”
♥ “I wonder if anyone will notice if I escape to Paris?”
♥ “Would it have killed you to say, ‘Excuse me.’ when bumping into my shoulder as you slither down the aisle?”
♥ “Man, I rock at solitaire.”
♥ “I need to wax my eyebrows and my ‘stache.”
♥ “Damn! Forgot my traveling lemon!”
♥ *Gets choked up, every time, when going through Arrivals as she is sure it’s just like Love Actually.*
And that’s just the beginning. Happy travels.
xoxo,
Lisa
P.S. And c’mon now, I know you’ve thought about at least half of these at one time or another.