great big nature hunt

i am the queen of white socks.
for someone who distastes socks with a passion, a pile of white socks sits on my bedroom floor. i remember having a box (now long since unpacked) that was packed up while i was living at our old place. not remembering that it contain sexy under things, socks and basic junk, i went out and purchased more socks.
which simply doesn’t make sense because i don’t wear socks. ever. okay, tights and maybe the knee socks i found i would wear once in a while, but white socks? and dozens upon dozens of them to boot?
um, okay.
some strange little fetish i was not aware i had.
I’ve got a caffeine headache. cathleen went out and purchased a case of mocha frappichino’s for me. i had three within 15 minutes. these things are like liquid caffeine. driving home from dropping my brother off, i started twitching and freaking out on 80/580 due to the caffeine intake. i felt like some drug user who was itching for a fix. i was so scared while driving, that something was going to happen. i kept floating into other lanes because i couldn’t concentrate on what i was doing. the fact i was able to park my car was a luxury.
next time, i won’t drink three frapp’s within a short time. nor will i do it later on in the day, since it is now going on midnight and i don’t think i am going to go to bed just yet.
so I’m currently having issues. lots of issues. mainly having to deal with who and what i am. i find it absolutely amazing that now we have found a pretty cool place (albeit in Fruit-Fucking-Vale) and I got my new (w00h00) car, that new issues arise.
so how do i fix these problems?
I open up and start reading a book by Jean-Paul Sartre, and think I’m the fucking coolest person on the face of the planet. I still have my Nietzsche books to go through, however, I can only handle so much intellectual discourse in a short period of time.
See, I’m tangenting from my issues, matters and concerns.
let me be frank.
first off, these aren’t “new” issues to begin with. they are the same old schtick that i keep re-hashing over and over again. I’m looking for a resolution to these idea’s and i don’t know quite how to resolve them.
this has been the big debate for so long. it’s getting annoying to me.
time for bed!