love songs for no one

i’m not depressed.
i’m not terribly upset about anything in particular.
I have my juicy tubes lipgloss, roof over my head, bills are paid and my own bed to sleep in.
i don’t miss anyone in particular as far as the exes go, and while I get a twinge once in a while about it and send them off with a letter, I guess out of sight is really out of mind.
So someone please explain to me why I sat in my car, in my apartment parking lot crying today?
Because really I have no idea.
I realised the other night while watching the movie “Improptu” and I got this huge rush of feeling of freedom. Like YAY Baby, climb every mountain, scour every sea, I am every woman and I bring home the bacon, etc, and I felt this intense freedom! Like I was on the edge of my seat kind of thing (literally my knees were pushed up against the coffee table). I was in complete and utter control of myself.
But then tonight it came crashing down, and I had to suffer another round of classes of people making fun of me because they are iditiotic neophytes and I’m bleeding edge gadget guru. I read too much, I own too much shit, I read too much I am TOO FUCKING MUCH XYZ ITEMS.
I’m tired of being alone.
Just hurry up and get here.