tuesday

Received a call this morning from my OB/GYN in regards to my sonohysterogram that i had done a few weeks back.

This surprised me because i was ‘supposed’ to make an appointment right after i had it (and fuck, they are both in the same freaking building, i could have just walked upstairs after i had it done) but never got around to doing it. What surprised me about the call was that when I returned the call, the nurse sounded a bit, hectic to see me. As in “we need to see you right away” kind of voice. The voice that kind of made me “shit” and tell my bosses i had to leave work early this afternoon to go see the OB/GYN. I wasn’t nervous, afraid or really concerned. I just figured, well, whatever happens happens and I’ll take it as that.

Turns out my instincts (or feelings as it were) were correct. It was officially diagnosed today, October 30, 2001; that I have Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOD). Now the irony of this is that I self-diagnosed myself a few years back when I stumbled across a site that talked about the PCOD and it’s related symptoms (excessive body hair, missed periods, mood swings, being overweight, etc) and I said “god damnit! that is me to a T!” but the doctors I had been dealing with at Kaiser Permente have been like “well, you don’t overtly have the symptoms (seeing as my ‘excessive body hair’ was not like an ape, so i was okay according to them) and well your blood work came back normal, so, therefore you don’t have it.”

I was frustrated with KP because they seemed to take this kind of attitude with everything they do in regards to health care. It took prodding from my mother to get an ultra-sound and me going to see a highly recommended OB/GYN (and willing to shell out the 250 a visit that he charges for out of network costs) to get this resolved. But I’m HAPPY that it’s official, because now I don’t feel like I’m being psychosomatic with having these freaking issues with my period and ‘female problems’.

I went through three separate blood tests (one with KP when I was on the pill and two with the new doc before and after my period). I’m healthy as a horse. There is, chemically, nothing that indicates that I have PCOD (which was what KP was going by) and it took the sonohysterogram to prove that my ovaries were cystic to get the point across. Well bully for me for being healthy, considering I’m 80lbs overweight, I smoke and only recently have I been eating properly.

So the good doctor (who is cute to boot) is putting me on a new pill to help shed the lining of my uterus and to get everything under control. Getting a D&C is not really necessary in the future unless i don’t start shedding. I can have kids in the future (I still consider myself too young at 29 to be birthing them babies), but heck, at least i know i have the chance now, where as before, I didn’t think I could.

The other irony is that I had bounced a check, oh say a month or so ago, at the local salon where I go and get my nails done. No big deal to me, ShittyFucks is forever having problems with their “computers” (so they say). I don’t feel embarrassed to have bounced a check and I don’t think other people should feel that way either. So, anyway, I go in to get my nails filled and I tell the receptionist “I bounced a check two weeks ago, I just found out the other day via my bank and I see you have not resubmitted it yet. I can pay for it right now if you wish.” The receptionist looks at me like “Ohmygosh, I can’t believe you are publicly admitting that you are bouncing a check” and says out loud “Well, we don’t handle this ourselves, this is handled by our other office in Arlington.” And I was like “Fine, what should I do?” and she states wait till I hear from the main office.

So I waited.

I’ve been back to the salon TWICE since this (I go every two weeks to get the nails filled, I do) and I have yet to receive anything from them. So I come home today and check the mail and finally have something from the main office. Dated over a week ago — telling me “This is a serious manner and will not be taken lightly. If we do not receive payment within the time allotted, other collection actions may be taken.”

Now, if it were so damn important for them to receive the forty-one dollars from me, why did it take them nearly TWO months to let me know the check bounced? And why did they date it a week and a half ago and yet I only received it TODAY? And the best part! They are having me pay at the salon I bounced the damn check at.

Personally, I find this highly hilarious and I’m slightly pissed off. I’ve gone to this company and told them, every time I’ve gone in since the check bounced, that I have yet to receive word about said check. I value my credit and I honor my debts, and I’m a bit pissed at this letter. I don’t have a qualm paying for the bounced check, I have a qualm with thinly veiled threats when it took them two months to get back to me on this.

I think it’s the principle of the thing.

But then again it’s been said I’m weird.

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It’s 9:28pm and Paul is playing with our new sound system and I’m yawning as I have to go to bed for a 4am turn up in the morning. To get in the spirit of things, I went out and bought a cordless phone with a headset to work with customers. heh. I’m taking this on-call shit a bit too serious sometimes. But then again, a cordless phone with a headset isn’t a bad idea. God bless Radioshack.

x0x0x
Lisa

 

sonohysterogram

I know you were just sitting there today going “you know, i really need to know what a sonohysterogram is and i really need to know why you would want one.” i bet you even wondered what the procedure was like! well sure folks, I’ll be more than happy to help!

nothing says loving like having me laying on an examination bed, feet in stirrups and the lower half of my body totally exposed waiting for a doctor to shove a two foot catheter up my cunt to find out what the hell is wrong with me. that, i suppose is a bit more detail but hell, your in luck, you are getting more.

the procedure is where they take the ‘probe’ (this is what the nurse called it, I’m not kidding) that’s about two feet long and looks like a dildo with an a/c adaptor. She threw a condom and lube on the probe and inserted it into my vagina. From that point, I could see the internal walls of my uterus, my ovaries and you know, it’s just not the most attractive sight I’ve seen. After probing me for awhile and taking pictures, she removed the probe, had me relax and wait for the radiologist to come in.

His job was more fun. He got to take a speculum, open up the entrance to my vagina, then take a 2 foot catheter and shove that through until it hit the opening of my uterus where the endomitral opening was. There is a small balloon at the end of the catheter that he inserted that they use an syringe full of water to expand. The balloon will start to expand slowly the opening of the endomitral wall and so they can peer inside of my uterus. Now, after having the catheter shoved in, we find out that the speculum they used is ‘too small’. This is something every girl wants to hear right? That she’s gappy? Remove catheter, remove speculum and repeat procedure. Once they started injecting the water, i feel water running down inbetween my legs. It seems that my uterus is contracting and won’t allow the catheter to enter. Repeat procedure again. Still no go. OH! did i mention that they shoved the ‘probe’ back up there to watch all this occur?

Now you are probably wondering ‘lisa, that sounds masochistic’ and you know what, it is and your right. Now why would I choose to have this procedure done?

Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOD/PCOS) is very hereditary in my family. My maternal grandmother had ovarian cancer and gave birth to 12 children with one ovary. My mother had PCOD and was told she could never have children. I show all the classic signs of PCOD/PCOS and so at first I had to take blood tests. Turns out the tests were a false negative because I was on the pill when I took them and they would regulate my hormones. Go a few months without birth control and then they redraw the blood. Go back to the Ob/GYN and find out that the tests were still normal and nothing odd was showing up (ie thyroid, diabetes or testrosone). Doctor suggests the sonohysterogram to see physically if there is anything wrong. My periods are messed up for the lack of the better word and i betcha that it’s all caused by stress.

I bet you even wanted pictures of the procedure. I even included those in the email. Aren’t i just sweet?

http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/sonohysterogram

Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to bed.

My cunt hurts.

x0x0x
lisa