Things I Don’t Understand

Dear Internet,
I’ve been working on non-journal related things lately, which as left me little time to write here. Not much has changed from the last time we spoke, but I am still here.
Inspired by this post over at The Hairpin, here is a list of things I don’t understand (unranked)

  • People who hate the word moist
  • People who let their gas tank fall below 1/4 tank
  • Egg salad sandwich eaters
  • Minecraft
  • Football
  • Basketball
  • Golf
  • People with more than 2 kids
  • idk
  • Snapchat
  • Pastoral paintings
  • Whisky
  • Bourbon
  • Amanda Palmer
  • X-Files reboot
  • Arrested Development
  • Complicated coffee orders (venti skinny half half sugar free caramel latte. Little ice.)
  • Roses
  • Pointillism
  • Capers
  • Use of the word gross to describe anything from war to the color of paint
  • Non bed makers
  • Zombies
  • Jonathan Franzen
  • Mushrooms
  • Cricket (the game, not the insect)

I’m sure there is more I am missing but this should give you a good idea of what perplexes me on a daily basis.
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This Day in Lisa-Universe: 2014, 2008, 2001

writerly influence

Tools of the trade

Dear Internet,
It has been a long day.
It’s not even 8PM and I’m ready to call it a night.
My day worked out something like this:

  • Up at 7:15A
  • Finish packing, shower
  • Run first batch of errands (four stops including a drive through breakfast)
  • Shrink at 10:30A
  • Run second batch of errands (three stops)
  • Back home around 12:30P, bathroom, load car
  • Run third batch of errands (two stops)
  • Drive ~3 hours to Throbbing Cabin, arrive about 4PM
  • Unpack car, get cabin open, unpack packing
  • Dinner
  • More unpacking
  • Prep breakfast for tomorrow

And now I’ve gotten ready for bed.
Tomorrow is going to be cold, rainy, and a high of 59F, which means my plans for beaching and other outdoor activities has been curtailed. It may mean I lay in bed reading all day and then getting to work on the reason why I’m up here: to write.
Speaking of which, just found out one of the pieces I submitted for publication has been rejected. I’ve got another pitch floating out there that has a definite timeline, ergo if I don’t hear from them within a set time limit, they thank me for their consideration and please try again at another time.

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It’s strange.
I was worried once I got my first official rejection, I would say, “Fuck you!” and give up but that didn’t quite happen. Sure, I’m upset but I don’t feel defeated.
I’m still processing how this all works.
P.S. Consolation: Eating a frozen whoopie pie as big as my head.

This Day in Lisa-Universe:


this isn’t going to be some sort of deep psychological debate with myself. you can form your own opinions about me via reading what i write. but that is just the tip. the basics are as follows:

  • I’m 6′ tall in stocking feet.
  • I’ve driven cross country (san fran to dc) solo.
  • I’ve been engaged multiple times (but not all at once)
  • my fiance is eight years younger than me
  • my brother is 7’2
  • i was born in canada and raised in Michigan
  • i was arts/entertainment editor on the college paper
  • I’m obsessed about harry potter and anita blake books
  • the first thing i do when i get up is: feed the dogs, make coffee, pee, smoke a
  • cigarette and check my stocks in that exact order.
  • i make more snide comments than i do straight answers
  • I’m obsessive /compulsive
  • I’m a drew carey fanatic.
  • i admit to owning albums by “Aqua” “Color Me Badd” and “Britney Spears”
  • i have a purse/shoe fetish
  • i only write with pentels rsvp pens in fine point blue
  • i also tape (via tivo) beverly hills 90210 every time it’s on
  • I’m a zelda fanatic
  • my favorite comedian is eddie izzard
  • if i would, i would marry christian slater in a heartbeat.
  • same thing for brendan fraser
  • ahh hell, imhotep from ‘the mummy’ would so be my bitch.
  • i cannot live without my cellphone or my visor.
  • or cigarettes, cawfee (from barnies) and nachos

resolution #7

it dawned on me on the way to work this morning (after reiterating it to paul, of course), that the other resolution i was missing was that i was not going to dye my hair anymore. no, the world has not fallen on it’s knees and no, hell didn’t freeze over. After 15 years of dying my hair (i started young), I’m extremely curious to see what my hair would look like au natural. but of course I’m going to enhance it. heh. i want some caramel highlights to cover up any gray that suddenly appears, but overall, i wonder what my natural hair color is.
the last time i dyed my hair was in November when Ivette was in town and we went on a hair dying spree between the both of us. I’ve got roots nearing two inches long and boy, does it look white trashy. because i have such thick hair, it is becoming to look like a hair helmet and I’m praying i have the strength to not go get it cut or to run out and buy a box of feria.
I’m still hoping for the strength.

new years resolutions

new years resolutions are broken promises. we all know this. i can’t think of anyone off hand who had actually gone through and made resolutions and did what they said they were going to do. all the smokers start back smoking on 1/3 and the dieters last a bit longer. So my question is, are these resolutions something we can truly count on or can we really work on them?
i thought about this little ditty this last week as i was eating, puffing and flipping through bridal magazines. i was looking for something i liked and in the meantime my own compulsive habit of buying clothes that do not fit me was going out of control. Paul bought me a Visor Deluxe in blue and said “Plan our life with this!” and which I’ve started doing. I love this thing! But I digress.
I started flipping through bridal magazines, victoria secret magazines and i swore to myself “I am not wearing a size 18 wedding dress!” no way no how, damn skippy! Since we are planning for the wedding to be in key west, i kept telling paul “I’m going to be prancing around wearing a scarlet red thong bikini!”.

  • resolution 1: go on a diet.
  • resolution 2: paul goes on a diet. shopping for paul has become a bitch as well, you know being 6’6 and built like a line breaker makes it hard for paul to shop for clothes as well.
  • resolution 3: get my health in order. Then there is the whole anxiety crap. I’m chugging down vitamins and meds left and right. His family thinks it’s funny that i keep quipping that i deal with paul “because of all the crack I’m on” when the truth is, it’s more for me than for him.
  • resolution 4: quit smoking.
  • resolution 5: get things ready for school to start in January 2002. then there is school. i swore to myself i would die if i didn’t get my undergrad degree by the time i am 30. I will be 29 this year. No freaking way can i get it all done in a space of less than two years (especially with expenses up the yazhoo coming up). but there is hope! my fathers trust will pay for schooling and appropriate bills as long as i do a business plan to show where the money is going.
  • resolution 6: start writing more and start looking at branches i can use to sell my work. my writing has taken a nose-dive in the last few months and i keep using the excuse “I’m busy.” for not writing. and i know it’s more that I’m afraid of what I’m going to say than what i will say on paper. i miss what I’m doing and so…

there are tons and tons of other things that keep bubbling up to the top that i feel i must include in this little list of what i want to do this year. plan a wedding, plan our move. plan for school. get both paul and myself to the doctors for complete checkups. dentist appointments and eye doctor appointments. get Wednesday fixed, plan vacations. see my mom and pauls family.
there is not enough time in the world for me to do this all in. but i hope to get it done and make my mark on the world as we know it.