Things I Don’t Understand

Dear Internet,

I’ve been working on non-journal related things lately, which as left me little time to write here. Not much has changed from the last time we spoke, but I am still here.

Inspired by this post over at The Hairpin, here is a list of things I don’t understand (unranked)

  • People who hate the word moist
  • People who let their gas tank fall below 1/4 tank
  • Egg salad sandwich eaters
  • Minecraft
  • Football
  • Basketball
  • Golf
  • People with more than 2 kids
  • idk
  • Snapchat
  • Pastoral paintings
  • Whisky
  • Bourbon
  • Amanda Palmer
  • X-Files reboot
  • Arrested Development
  • Complicated coffee orders (venti skinny half half sugar free caramel latte. Little ice.)
  • Roses
  • Pointillism
  • Capers
  • Use of the word gross to describe anything from war to the color of paint
  • Non bed makers
  • Zombies
  • Jonathan Franzen
  • Mushrooms
  • Cricket (the game, not the insect)

I’m sure there is more I am missing but this should give you a good idea of what perplexes me on a daily basis.


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This Day in Lisa-Universe: 2014, 2008, 2001

writerly influence

Tools of the trade

Dear Internet,

It has been a long day.

It’s not even 8PM and I’m ready to call it a night.

My day worked out something like this:

  • Up at 7:15A
  • Finish packing, shower
  • Run first batch of errands (four stops including a drive through breakfast)
  • Shrink at 10:30A
  • Run second batch of errands (three stops)
  • Back home around 12:30P, bathroom, load car
  • Run third batch of errands (two stops)
  • Drive ~3 hours to Throbbing Cabin, arrive about 4PM
  • Unpack car, get cabin open, unpack packing
  • Dinner
  • More unpacking
  • Prep breakfast for tomorrow

And now I’ve gotten ready for bed.

Tomorrow is going to be cold, rainy, and a high of 59F, which means my plans for beaching and other outdoor activities has been curtailed. It may mean I lay in bed reading all day and then getting to work on the reason why I’m up here: to write.

Speaking of which, just found out one of the pieces I submitted for publication has been rejected. I’ve got another pitch floating out there that has a definite timeline, ergo if I don’t hear from them within a set time limit, they thank me for their consideration and please try again at another time.

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It’s strange.

I was worried once I got my first official rejection, I would say, “Fuck you!” and give up but that didn’t quite happen. Sure, I’m upset but I don’t feel defeated.

I’m still processing how this all works.


P.S. Consolation: Eating a frozen whoopie pie as big as my head.

This Day in Lisa-Universe:


this isn’t going to be some sort of deep psychological debate with myself. you can form your own opinions about me via reading what i write. but that is just the tip. the basics are as follows:

  • I’m 6′ tall in stocking feet.
  • I’ve driven cross country (san fran to dc) solo.
  • I’ve been engaged multiple times (but not all at once)
  • my fiance is eight years younger than me
  • my brother is 7’2
  • i was born in canada and raised in Michigan
  • i was arts/entertainment editor on the college paper
  • I’m obsessed about harry potter and anita blake books
  • the first thing i do when i get up is: feed the dogs, make coffee, pee, smoke a
  • cigarette and check my stocks in that exact order.
  • i make more snide comments than i do straight answers
  • I’m obsessive /compulsive
  • I’m a drew carey fanatic.
  • i admit to owning albums by “Aqua” “Color Me Badd” and “Britney Spears”
  • i have a purse/shoe fetish
  • i only write with pentels rsvp pens in fine point blue
  • i also tape (via tivo) beverly hills 90210 every time it’s on
  • I’m a zelda fanatic
  • my favorite comedian is eddie izzard
  • if i would, i would marry christian slater in a heartbeat.
  • same thing for brendan fraser
  • ahh hell, imhotep from ‘the mummy’ would so be my bitch.
  • i cannot live without my cellphone or my visor.
  • or cigarettes, cawfee (from barnies) and nachos