Dear Internet,
After last night’s mania episode, I was hoping to get some decent rest and circumvent the mania today. Apparently, I was wrong! I woke up with TheHusband at 8:30A, roughly four hours after I had fallen asleep. Not only did I wake up without assistance, I woke up goddamned cheerful!
I had a lot of things to write tonight, but I’m falling asleep at the keyboard. So instead, I’ll let you know I had a pizza orgy in my mouth tonight — our treat for our continual shoveling was to order pizza for dinner since we had a cleared driveway and sidewalks for cars and humans to pass. Which after consuming 2-3 lactaid before the mouth party began and double dose of Benadryl after still gives me slight hives and an itchy head, but you know what? Fuck ’em. It was worth every glorious bite.
So here’s to calculating ordering pizza, so I can take Benadryl, which will appropriately knock me out.
x0x0,
Lisa
P.S. It is still snowing.
Category: diary
That roams around the world
Dear Internet,
It’s late in the evening, ticking towards midnight [now significantly past midnight, thanks mania!], and we’ve been sloths all day. Not too surprising, with the current weather we’ve been having, leaving the house would be borderline stupidity. To be fair, TheHusband and I were at the gym on Saturday, coupled with an hour spent shoveling this morning from the first part of the snows, we feel like we’ve got our exercise in for the weekend. But also to be fair, my own silliness for not taking any kind of drug before gym tripped my arthritis up and while the pain has been moderate, it’s still annoying and it has meant I’ve been spending a lot of time with my leg up rather than being active.
Monday has been called a snow day across the midwest as the snows have started to come down, including MPOW, which makes me slightly sad as I’m naturally off so I can’t claim a snow day in jubilation. My nearly four week holiday comes to an end on Wednesday and I’m both slightly delighted and slightly not. I watched a lot of telly, read a few books, wrote a lot here, and did a lot of research for my book. My MIL was in town for a week, we stayed in on New Years, my dragon tattoo fill started, and I wore a lot of sports bras. Not a bad staycation overall.
But.
I need structure. If there is anything this vacation has finally drilled in my head, I thrive in structure. When we were getting up in the mornings early, setting our rhythms for the day, I found I was more productive than when left to my own devices. As much as my inner bad girl grits her teeth while admitting this, sometimes chaos is not always the best answer.
Monday, I will start prepping to get back into work mode. My brain has been in hibernation for the last month, so it’s time to take off the sports bras, yoga pants, loose t-shirts and get things back in order. To get this in the right frame of mind, I cleaned out my personal inbox today so if you are wondering where the email I owe you is, you should get it in the next day or so. If we talked about doing projects together, I’ll start getting in the groove for those as well. Monday, I’m also planning on sorting mail, finishing up bills, and maybe taking down the Christmas tree.
While we were absolute sloths during our staycation, we did join the local Y the day after Christmas (via online of course). As it turns out my brother and his girlfriend, my tattoo artist and his wife, my friend Liz and her husband also joined within the same week. It’s time to walk, yoga, and swim. Saturday, during the break of the snows, TheHusband and I scrimmaged playing basketball, where I was not as bad as I thought. We kept getting run over by little kids playing soccer, all wearing European team gear, with one of their parents yelling drill instructions in Italian, which were often punctured by our “goddammits” when we missed shots.
I played basketball all through primary school (but not secondary) and some of the old drills came back to my hands as if I was 12 all over again, not nearly 42. I hate watching the game, but apparently I can get into playing it without a second thought. I give no fucks about NBA, March Madness, or Top 10 or anything basketball related.
In the guilt department, the damned post about being fit has been sitting in my drafts folder since December 2012. I am promising myself this is not going to be another year in which it gathers dust, but talking about being crazy is far easier than talking about being fat because you can’t judge crazy by looks alone.
Speaking of crazy, I’ve been caffeine free since January 1. I have been reading some personal anecdotes as well as studies about the effect of caffeine on bipolar and decided to create a one person sample study – me. On one (and many) of my drugs I was on in 2013 for my ADHD, caffeine was off the table since it amped up the effects of the drugs, which are stimulants, for me. Again, a lovely side effect that affected no one else I knew had. I know many ADHD sufferers who self-medicate with caffeine sans the drugs, but I was finding that maybe that is not working for me since caffeine feeds into my mania. I was already cutting caffeine out of my diet after 12PM, and had been for ages, coupled with my caffeine free existence in 2013 for a bit, maybe it was worth a go to see what would happen.
Not surprisingly, I have felt a lot more stable in the last few days then I had in the last month, and my brain has been less foggy. My ADHD has been getting symptomatic. Crazy or unfocused — oh how shall I ever choose?
It’s now significantly past the witching hour and I need to get to bed. Or pretend to. Or something.
[The internal network went down while I was writing this so I missed my midnight deadline, so I’m backtracking this to 23:59.]
x0x0,
Lisa
Kalendae Januariae: 2014’s Goals
Dear Internet,
Last year I decided to go on a bender of self-improvement, which I called the Kalends project (and the series list is at the beginning of this piece). The idea sprang from something I had read about the history of the Kalends, which could be summed up as such:
This single day contains the whole year in it, so that what you do during those spare twenty four hours will determine the character of the remaining three hundred and sixty four.
I broke down the improvement plan over four different sections, with a follow up in November. The fifth element, the Making Happy project, could also be tied into my goals. The sixth goal, about getting fit, has been sitting in draft format since December 2012; that still needs to be written
So here we are, 2014. If the Kalends are true and what I did in the last 24 hours sets the tone, then it’ll be Sherlock and popcorn and good dark chocolate until the cows come home.
But I digress.
What I did not account for, of course, was how many setbacks I would have at the beginning of the year between my second ankle surgery, mental health issues galore, wonky work schedules, and whatever else life throws at you. I crawled up inside myself more than I had liked, I set some very necessary boundaries, and pissed off a number of people.
[Aside: I’m tired of people stating resolutions/goals are cliche because to me, it indicates a lack of self-improvement, life long learning, and wanting to simply grow as a human being. At that point, if you’re not willing to even grow, what is the point?]
Personally, this last year has been one of much growth even if that growth has at a snail pace. The setting of boundaries, the dispensing of fraught relationships, the ability to recognize the crazy when it happens has been tremendous success in helping me define a better path for myself even if that path doesn’t make itself visible to the naked eye. It was painful, scary, and downright terrifying at times, but I did pull through. I always pull through. So even if at first blush I come off as a chaotic train wreck, when compared to how it could have possibly gone, I am positively in a great space.
I treasure that. And you, readers, of course.
So what’s ahead for 2014?
Buy Nothing 2014
To buy nothing in 2014, unless it’s necessary (food, gas, or related),
to genuinely replace, or renews an existing service (i.e. Spotify, Netflix, etc)
What prompted me to start reining in the funds was the 114 orders on Amazon (one every two days) and lord knows what else I bought in 2012. In 2013, I dropped it down to 40 orders from Amazon, much of it spent on gifts or household items rather than items of unnecessary delight. Instead of buying things outright, I asked for them for gifts for holidays/birthdays/etc, and stopped buying things I did not need unless it was to replace. I did see some financial gain from this but with not enough to make a decent savings since other financial considerations came into play later in the year. 2014 will be even more strict and I’ll start being more judicious on recording everything I spend and saving what I can.
2014 will be the year of creativity (even if it kills me)
This was one area I was not as improved on as I had hoped, but talking to my friend Amy who gave an impressive display of her own improvements in 2013, really kicked up my own notches to get going on my own projects. Cheers Amy, for the inspiration kick in the pants!
Year of the written word
Read all the books/comics I own before buying more. Surprisingly doing better with this as time goes on. In fact, I’ve been most impressed that majority of the books I’ve read for 2013 I read in November/December, of which five I finished in one week. Still plowing through the TBR pile, lots of reading being done online for research for the book as opposed to pleasure reading.
Writing
In January 2013, I said I wanted to:
- Write 10 hours a week (Does not include blogging)
- Write 250 word blog entries 5x a week (Get proficient enough to knock it out in 1/2 hour).
- Keep notes on everything
- Write a short story a month.
- Write a poem a month.
- Get something published by my birthday in June
January 1 – December 31, I wrote 151K words over 171 posts / 31 pages. Beyond that, my biggest accomplishment is this post marks the 63rd day in the row I’ve written and posted in this space. What started as a simple challenge in November to complement NaNoWriMo, has become a routine. A glorious routine, I must add. In those 62 previous days, I wrote 67,5 K words (almost half my yearly count in two months!) over 63 posts (some days had two posts). In November I said,
This does not include any notes, work done on paper, editing of pre-2013 posts, and so forth. Add another a rather conservative estimate of 25K words for over 100,000 words this year alone and for that, I’m really proud. Sure, I didn’t get a poem or prose published, but that’s also okay. I’ve got a better sense of what I want to do and what I want to write, and I know I can always do better. Produce more. Leave a mark on the world. Keep pushing forward.
Another challenge I did for an entire year was the Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes project, which tracks all the things I wrote, watched, read, listened to, and liked. What was striking about this particular project is I’m now seeing others do variations of it across the web, so even if I’m not a direct inspiration it’s still pretty cool to see others doing something similar.
The other big thing with writing is I took my fiction writing more seriously, finished a few short stories (which I’m still waiting for TheHusband to edit), and started serious research on a book series I have had mapped in my head since the summer of 2012. I had said, quite seriously, I was going to write the entire first book during my 3.5 week vacation but my mania got in the way as well as other things. But that I had researched and outlined the first six chapters was farther than before, so I feel pretty good about what I’ve accomplished. I may not have gotten anything professionally published this year, but my output, research, and strengths are increasing. Next year will be even better.
So not exactly spot on and perfect, but I’m fairly pleased with the results. Keep pushing forward.
teh interwebs
It can broken down to this:
- Unsubscribe from unnecessary mailing lists
- Delete unused social media accounts
- Stop following people/services/accounts/blogs that no longer hold my interest/are not engaging
- Get the archives back up
- Stop buying domains
- Stop obsessively checking social media accounts
In my November update, I was pretty sussed with how things were turning out. I was keeping with where I wanted to be with the one exception of the last one: checking social media. Also in November, I made the decision to deactivate my personal Facebook account which turned out to be a really good idea. As of January 1, I’m taking mental health break hiatus from Twitter as well, though I’ll be posting via apps over the course of the time. I need to refocus, concentrate, and work on some big deal projects that are upcoming and putting my energy into something else.
Lastly, the Making Happy and the get fit components which I hope to be writing more about in the near future.
What are you doing for 2014?
xoxo,
Lisa
Sick of Shadows
Dear Internet,
The crazy has been hitting me pretty hard for the last few days — well the better part of the week, which for me means lots of mania which rolls over into having a constant headache that I cannot shake. I’ve taken 1/2 a Klonopin this morning when I woke in the hopes it would quiet down some of the noise, but it feels like it has barely made a dent. I will more than likely take another 1/2 dose when I’m done writing this and a full dose before bed.
We kicked off the New Year by Wednesday having a pooping accident on our bedroom floor which she proceeded to then fell in to, which led to us giving her a bath and the obligatory anal gland squeeze, which was followed with her pooping more in the utility sink.
We sure know how to party.
TheHusband has been working with TheMIL on her oral history today, which has freed me up to do writing but with my brain spinning a million miles an hour, I’m finding I cannot concentrate more than a few things at a time. At best I’ve done is finish up my Book List of 2013, start the 2014 page and kind of putz around my office. The day is still relatively young but I am not feeling much to do anything at the moment.
The weather has been awfully frightful and currently sits at 10F/-12C with dipping down to 2F/-17C this evening with the never ending parade of snow. Even with several layers on, I’m constantly freezing. I’ve been chugging hot tea like there is no tomorrow to keep my innards warmed, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
Tonight kicked the beginning of season 3 of Sherlock in the UK, which has Twitter enflamed. Several people asked nicely to not spoil it, so I won’t. Instead I’ll give you the teaser that was released for Christmas from BBC on Sherlock’s return.
xoxo,
Lisa
Bonne Annee
Dear Internet,
Edwardians loved their postcards mightily and I’m thankful some of the six billion survived. Below is a sample of New Years cards that were sent during the height of the era.
From my family to yours, have a wonderful New Year’s Eve!
xoxo,
Lisa
This day in Lisa-Universe: 2012, 2012, 2012, 2002
attracts doves and repells dragons
Dear Internet,
One of the gifts TheHusband bestowed on me this holiday season was a wireless (via Bluetooth) solar keyboard that is designed to work with my Air, iPad, and iPhone. Set up literally took two seconds and I am loving the way the keys are feeling under my pads. While I’m a 10 key girl at heart, and I will miss having the 10 key as part of my keyboard, the loss of cords and great aesthetic functionality of the keyboard is totally winning me over.
Tomorrow my Mother-in-Law is arriving for a week long visit and we’ve been prepping the house for her arrival. We had started earlier in the week instead of leaving it all at the last minute, as we tend to do in such matters, but even then it’s now nearing mid-evening hours and TheHusband is now deciding to do some of his chores. He claims trifle belly, which lead to trifle coma, which lead to napping on and off all day while watching terrible television. I cannot be too harsh on him – I didn’t wake up until 11:30 myself and then I proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon reading before doing my own chores.
But we did get some work done — laundry is completed, the guest suite is prepped and fresh flowers have been laid, and one of TheHusband’s pet vacation projects, cleaning up the cords and rearranging the router/nas/voip/etc, was also knocked off the list. Tomorrow I take Jeeves in for his yearly oil check and while I’m gone, TheHusband will tackle the worst of all his crimes: his bathroom. Her arrival at the airport is lunchtime, which then dovetails into having a clean house and a lovely afternoon spent with her before we fall back into our usual mess disgrace but my mother-in-law has already said she’s fine with this.
The weather continues to be at worst for wear as we’ve reached the 30″ mark of snowfall this season while in the last 30 years, the average snowfall in December has been 20″. We’re getting predictions for more snow this upcoming week, which is putting a damper on potential plans. The city has been lax in getting the streets cleaned in a timely manner, but considering the damage that came from last week’s ice storm, I can’t be too harsh on them. But overall, the weather is not inviting enough outside to even want to leave the damn house!
Now that the internets is back up and running, and most of my chores of the day have been completed, I’m off to finally take a much need and much desired long soak in the tub before heading to bed.
xoxo,
Lisa
Happy Svein Forkbeard Day!
Dear Internet,
On this day a millennia ago, Svein Forkbeard was declared king of England. Because you have to love a name like Forkbeard, and Vikings, we’ve decided to start celebrating December 25th as Svein Forkbeard Day. Because – why not?
We did things half-assed backwards this year — presents were opened over the course of weeks and the rest of the loot this morning, even though the tree had not even been dragged up and put out. TheHusband was extra good to me this year: I scored a new pair of Tieks, a new winter jacket, new earrings, lipgloss, a bluetooth keyboard that will double with my iPad and MacBook Air, and the new Zelda game for my DS3. The best gift was the milk frother I had added to my list at the last minute, which showed up in time for unwrapping and which I am totally in love with. TheHusband received a new bag from Rickshaw, new Pumas, tshirts, socks, a new Harmony remote, fancy bluetooth mouse, and some kind of special router so he can do some dev work.
After the presents were unwrapped, oohs and ahhs were allotted, I put the tree up while TheHusband started on today’s dinner.
A few years ago, I asked the Internet to trim our tree and the Internet did not disappoint! Almost every ornament on the tree came from someone across the globe and I love them for it. What makes this tree even more special is the how many of those who shipped us ornaments knew our personalities (or made very good guesses). Doctor Who, Sherlock, Britishisms, Pugs, Books, Gnomes, Jane Austen, and the list goes on.
Again, thank you. You are now part of our yearly tradition.
May tonight be merry and bright with your loved ones close and have a wonderful new year.
x0x0,
Lisa
This day in Lisa-Universe: 2011
rubricae
Via Getty Open Content
Dear Internet,
I woke this morning with Not So Great Thoughts, which have been intensely plaguing me for the last few days. This morning, however, they seemed much more intense and even scarier than what I’ve become accustomed to. On the days it is harder than usual, I try to remember it will get better at some point. I fight to breathe for those days when things became clear and I don’t feel like I’m swimming underwater.
So, then, I will force myself to get up and put together a regime. I got out of bed and immediately took a shower before I even consumed my first cup of coffee. After TheHusband and TheDog woke and did their morning constitutionals (not together!), TheHusband came down with me to the kitchen where we baked for numerous hours. Golden Yellow cake (for trifle), lemon squares, banana bread, and corn bread (for the stuffing) were made. As the baking began to wind down, TheHusband heated up last night’s dinner for our mid-afternoon lunch and we planned for the rest of our week. My mother-in-law is coming for a week between christmas and new year, so the house needs to be cleansed, food for our holiday and regular meals needs to be prepped or bought, things need to be done that I cannot keep putting off.
At some point, I randomly started crying between pulling out one item from the oven to the other. “The crazy?,” TheHusband asked. I nodded. He said, “Do what you need to do.” And I just held tight to him in the middle of the kitchen while the crying subsided.
Much of my mental exhaustion comes from the sheer pull of energy to have something that resembles a normal day where just doing things is not some herculean effort. I keep trying, desperately, to not let this thing run my life but it is incredibly hard not to let myself just slip under and let it all just flow away.
On December 23, 1996, my grandfather passed away. It is his death, and then later my father’s, that shaped much of my life in unexpected ways. This is why the month of December is always hard to struggle through because whatever terrible thing befalls me it always happens here. Once I’m on the other side of January 1, things become slightly easier.
Yesterday was the solstice and we did not celebrate but I’m thinking that maybe next year we should. Start traditions, which I’ve been badgering TheHusband about for years now, create something for us. Make our own legacy. Because after the solstice has passed, the days I know are getting longer. I watch the times on the sunrise and sunset drift farther apart. The Earth has started its rotation to spring and Mother Nature will soon swap her snow shoes for muck boots then into sandals.
And so it goes on.
x0x0,
Lisa
on dit, or it is said
Dear Internet,
The problem with having staycation that last for weeks is you forget what day it is so I am happy to report it is Friday and today has been a slow and restful day.
I woke up at about 830A with some very definite plans — bleach and then dye my hair a ravishing red and once that was done, plan to hit a matinee of the new Lord of the Rings (or Thorin Oakendreamboatshield). After TheHusband woke, and the dog had been walked, we read for awhile as my hair cooked. Once the mail had arrived with my rare and valuable Cards Against Humanity card, and we cleansed our filthy bodies, we headed off to the movies.
The weather has a winter wonderland of snow for the last few weeks and on an almost sudden turn, it became an icy hell in the last few days as the weather warmed up slightly over 32F. It took forever to deice and defrost Jeeves and then I wavered on deciding to actually leave. Our street was a rink but the main streets seemed to be okay, so I decided we should go forth and head to the film.
Not necessarily a bad decision, but the warming up of the car and then driving put us behind on schedule and we got to the theatre too late to for the beginning of the film, so we opted for lunch instead. No other films were starting close to the time we would be done with our lunch, so we opted to come back home.
We curled up and read for a few more hours, I made hot cocoa with marshmallows, the dog on my left hip never changing. This weeks Collectioun of Cunnynge Curioustes is all about reading. I finished four books, started a fifth, and did a lot of long form web article reading.
After the dog’s afternoon constitutional, I headed to mainline more of A Place to Call Home, TheHusband headed to watch sportball, and this has been our day.
x0x0,
Lisa
This day in Lisa-Universe:
Preface
Via Valenciennes, Bibliothèque municipale, ms. 320, fol. 72r
Dear Internet,
The other day I received two unexpected gifts from the same person. The first was the admission that thanks to my writing, this person went on to seek mental health assistance and now treatment on their own. Secondly, in thanks for simply being me and giving them the courage to seek help, this person went to my Amazon wishlist1 and bought me the bundled ebook version of the first four books of George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Fire and Ice series, or as the rest of the world refers to it by its rightful name, Game of Thrones.
Floored by this person’s generosity, I thanked them profusely for being so kind. This person’s gentle heart and reasons for sharing with me paralleled into the increasing visibility of my journal. Daily keyword tracking shows I’m getting a lot of traffic from organic searches by those looking for answers on drug interactions, bipolarism, ADHD, and everything else related to the crazy.
This seems like a perfect time then to write a preface to the blog for if my writing my experiences can help someone else seek professional help, then I need to make sure they are clear on a few things in regards to my own experiences. This post will be in the main nav bar for easy access.
I am Bipolar I/II (depending on which doctor), with ADHD, moderate anxiety, and a side of Borderline Personality Disorder for extra flavor. While I have been diagnosed since my late teens, my most recent professional confirmation came in 2005 and 2012.
I am what is commonly referred to as high functioning, which means that while I exhibit many of the extreme symptoms of my afflictions, I have coping skills that allows me to function, more or less, with little interruption.
In December of 2012, I decided after nearly a decade of being off any kind of medicating drugs, to start the drug treatment again for bipolar and ADHD. If you are a fairly new reader, and you want to see what someone is like within the throes of bipolar, start here and go forward for a play by play look of my last year as I live blogged it all. If you want to hop around, the subjects in the right sidebar gives you the breadth of the crazy as well as my other non-crazy interests.
This journal is not a journal of bipolarism, but I do write a lot about my gifts. Please keep that in mind.
In March of 2013, I decided to stop hiding behind the journal as the only outlet on the discussion and made the conscious effort to being open about my disease.
I am drug free not because I choose to, but it is because I cannot tolerate drugs. I have been on a wide breadth of various bipolar and ADHD drugs on and off for years, all well documented on this site, and none of them work for me. I am what my medicating therapist calls, “a peculiar case.” Simply put, my brain chemistry does not allow for metabolizing of most commercial drugs for anything. For example, most SSRIs take 2-3 weeks to metabolize and for the effects to show up. In me, I metabolize the drugs within days of ingestion. This becomes problematic when addressing doses for stabilization. I also have the unfortunate luck to get all the rare side effects associated with that particular drug.
Drug interactions are typically listed on the drug’s bottle. If not, use a reliable health site such as the Mayo Clinic for more information.
If you are taking medication, take the medication as directed and do not skip a dose. Do not self-medicate unless it’s for an extremely good reason such as when Adderall makes you psychotic like it did for me.
I do not dispense individual advice nor do I recommend you seek your medical treatment from the Internets. Mental health, in particular with afflictions that have cross symptoms, can be triggered by reading others experiences. I also do not frequent forums, while some find them useful and supportive, I find they tend to trigger my anxiety.
Websites that I link in regards to mental health advocacy or support are ones either I have used or have vetted as being legit. There are a lot of schemey sites out there looking to exploit the mentally ill. Using common sense and asking yourself the usual “Who/What/Where/Why” should give you the foundation of whether or not a site is legit. Remember, if you cannot find an about page or if the person is not willing to share credentials about their expertise, keep the fuck away.
Part of managing this disease is creating a supportive network and self-soothing routine for when you go into crisis, whether that crisis is manic or depressive. Make sure your partner, parents, siblings, and close friends know that you are doing this for yourself.
Those who are bipolar tend to also be heavily anxious, so it is even more important you create an on demand self-soothing items / routines in your skill set. This can be anything from having a favorite sweater around, to reading a particular passage from a book, eating a piece of chocolate, and the list can go on. In short: Anything that gives you comfort, bring you down, and give you peace is what you’re looking for AND can be easily accessible. Additionally, when you go into overly anxious mode, also have tools to cope such as TheHusband and I sing the 12 days of Christmas – backwards. Usually I do this when I cannot take Klonopin (the one drug that does work for me) immediately for some reason or the drug is taking too long to kick in. Another routine is five things taste, touch, sense, hear, see. You do a round of each item, finding five that fit the description, and keep going until your calm down.
Almost every encyclopedic entry on bipolar will mention a mind/body connection, that one way to help alleviate the pain of the disease is to eat right, cut out caffeine, and exercise. Even mediating can be boon.
If you think you are bipolar, hie thee to your general practitioner to get a recommendation for a medicating therapist. Bipolar is nuanced enough chemically that almost all those who are gifted with disease will have varying symptoms and medication needs. This should not be treated by your GP.
In addition to a medicating shrink, make sure you have a talking shrink as well — sometimes it can be the same person. You will need someone to monitor your drugs as well as be your touchstone that this is a chemical fuck up in your brain and you’re not a terrible person.
There is no known national bipolar foundation, though some exist in on a state level. If you are unable to get to your GP and are in crisis mode, call the national suicide prevention line at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). I have used similar services in my past which have gotten me to the next day.
Keep a journal of your moods, to track when you’re up, UP, UP UP and down, down, down. Also figure out your triggers and prepare for them. Like, when I get manic, I compulsively shop. Case in point: I own 250+ tshirts. Putting together a systems of checks and balances in place has helped me from spending thousands. I also know that any caffeine after 12PM means I could be up until 4AM. Keep a list. You will find some friends are toxic, some music sets off your mania, and watching a film about old people will send you into depression for days. Know your triggers and avoid them as much as possible.
And it’s okay to have a terrible day or several terrible days. You know these days will pass and in the great words of Stephen Fry, it will be sunny one day. If you can make it through one day, and then the next, it will get easier.
It does get easier.
I believe in you.
x0x0,
Lisa
1. Yes, I do indeed have nearly 20 wishlists under the main wishlist title, neatly sorted out by categories. TheHusband thinks I’m insane and Beth thinks I’m adorable, but I did this because I needed to separate out various works based on topic. So this organizing is for my own edification, not for people to peruse at except for TheHusband who shops from the Holidays and Lisa-mas Gift Ideas Wish List to get ideas on what to get me for gifts.
This day in Lisa-Universe: