Category: diary

May The Lemon Be With You

Lemon pendant that arrived today courtesy of my good pal, Val.
Lemon pendant that arrived today courtesy of my good pal, Val.

Dear Internet,
Yesterday, my irritableness got worse as the day and evening progressed. TheHusband helicoptered all day, “Are you okay? Is something going on or is it just the crazy? I love you – here, let me hump your shoulder.” I wavered between telling him to fuck the right off and then shortly after, clinging to him like a wet blanket and then pounding my fists weakly into his chest.
“Why are you doing that?”
“Because isn’t that what all maidens in distress do?”
“It’s definitely the crazy.”
Before it got terribly late, and the dog had been taken care of for the evening, I popped a full Klonopin, snuggled under my warming blanket, and started main lining the second season of Miss Fisher before falling asleep. I have to be careful when I take a full dose, for it knocks me out cold and depending on how exhausted I am, I have been known to dead sleep 10-14 hours before even beginning to stir.
Whatever I was expecting the drug to do, it did it for a little while but this morning when I woke, my teeth were grinding and I was on edge. This is fairly unusual since Klonopin tends to reset me, which of course sets the pace for the rest of the day chock full of anxiety. It is a good thing I am heading to my shrink, Dr. P., this afternoon.
It was a year ago this month I went back on my bipolar meds and then started up on the ADHD drugs, while live blogging it all. For nearly a year, until I went off the Lithium again 2.5 months ago, my emotional life was in a constant state of flux. In addition to the flux, I felt so fucking defeated when the ADHD drugs would not work as promised. But I was not surprised. I had been down this road before a decade ago and I remember swearing I would never do drugs again and yet, here I went and here they were.
And here I am still struggling.
Today marks the fifth day since I’ve left the house, which is not as depressing as it sounds. We have been bombarded with snow for nearly two weeks, the accumulation probably between 2′-3′ and more is coming this weekend. TheHusband and I, neither of us keen to be out in this near blizzard like conditions, were dutiful enough to get two weeks worth of groceries together to keep us going during the time. I promised food posts and images, but i kept forgetting to take my camera with me as we cooked. But let me assure you, everything has been delicious.
Presents have been trickling in from friends and family, which has been cheering me up. The winner of Christmas this year may be my friend Val who sent me a traveling lemon, which I can wear on a chain and is a reference to one of my favorite radio shows, Cabin Pressure. My Mother-in-Law sent us books, a new crock pot, and this Hark! A Vagrant viking tshirt. You can never go wrong with buying me a t-shirt.
I have not worked on my book project in several days, of which I am not trying to get too stressed about. I keep reminding myself that while it is a lofty goal to cram a novel in 3.5 weeks, even just by the amount of work i’ve done already is far ahead anything I’ve done before.
Now it is time to leave the house for the day. Wish me godspeed!
x0x0,
Lisa
P.S. My guesstimates were not too far off on snow accumulation – since December 8, our area has gotten 22″ of snow.

This day in Lisa-Universe: 2012, 1998

Tips on being Canadian

Dear Internet,
Today I have been spikier than usual, which could be attributed to checking work email while on holiday break or bloodwolves circling the wagons, or something else along those lines. Whatever the underlying case may be, sometimes you just need a good reminder to know that beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.

xoxo,
Lisa

This day in Lisa-universe:

On the Occasion of Jane Austen’s 238th Birthday

janeaustenbankofengland
Jane Austen will be featured on the £10 note beginning in 2016

Dear Internet,
Today is the occasion of Jane Austen’s 238th birthday. I’m slightly embarrassed my post, which was set to publish at 10AM this morning, was published before it was finished. I am even more embarrassed because I was sure that I had set it to post later this afternoon, thus giving me time to get in cleaned up and ready before it was loved by world. Oops.
This year also marks the 200th anniversary of the publication of Pride and Prejudice, and regardless of how you feel about Ms. Austen, you’ll be hard pressed to find any author whose work has remained continually in print since its first publication and for as long.
Basildon Park (Netherfield in Pride and Prejudice 2005), England, 2008.
As many of my long time readers know, I am a huge fan of Ms. Austen’s. At one point, I had an Etsy store of my crafts that were wholly devoted to Jane. Every time I am in England, I always attempt to visit a Jane place. In 2008,  I visited Basildon Park, home to Netherfield in P+P2005 as well as took in the sites of Bath. In 2012, I visited her grave at Winchester Cathedral. I’ve always fancied doing an Austen tour of England, but something I come up with on my own time and terms as the idea of Austenland is abhorrent. (Yes, I’ve read the book but not seen the movie. The book was awful, not because of the idea or content but it read like a child’s version of how they interpreted adults should be acting rather than an adult writing, even in a loving mocking form, on a particular fandom. It was very bizarre.)
To celebrate Jane’s birthday, I’ve spent the day watching (and tweeting) some of my favorite Jane Austen and Austen inspired shows. Here is my current schedule:
Jane Austen via Wikipedia
Jane Austen. by her sister Cassendra.  Via Wikipedia

I also have Death Comes to Pemberley lined up on my reading list this holiday break, though reviews have not been favorable. I am, however, BEYOND excited for BBC’s adapataion of the book, which is being shown on December 26th in the UK and coming to the US, via PBS, some unknown date later.
[iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”//www.youtube.com/embed/PhmgTlVXbxw?rel=0″ frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen]
Other things that happened this year in regards to our dear friend Jane:

Excessively divertedly yours,
x0x0,
Lisa

Coffee, Tea, Cocoa

“How Sir Lancelot Was Shot by a Gentlewoman Hunting” by Arthur Rackham circa 1917

Dear Internet,
Last night I dreamt I was in command of a Viking longship, my braids flying in the wind as we traversed the seas. I had silver hair cuffs to hold my hair back, I wore leather leggings and tunic, my belt was made of metals and precious jewels, and I took lovers in every port. It was a glorious dream.
It is mid-Sunday afternoon and the only leather I have been in contact with is the leather of our couch where I’ve been settled for the last several hours. TheHusband, who is currently driving me crazy with his songs reinterpretations by replacing lines with “Pookie Bear” and interjecting “pug” when neither pookie nor bear fit, is reading The Adventures of Ibn Battuta: A Muslim Traveler of the Fourteenth Century sprawled on the chair opposite. Wednesday, who is aghast she is not allowed up on the couch or the chair, paces the living room like the little old lady she is before heading to one of the many dog beds we have scattered around the house for her particular use. After 20 or so minutes of watching us wearily from her bed, she starts the pacing over again thinking she will eventually wear us down with her silent demands.
[Interlude:  The dog, 30 minutes before she was due for her afternoon constitution, decided to pee in the kitchen and then 10 minutes later, poop in the dining room. She’s now lounging on the couch, a fleece blanket beneath her. You win pug. You win.]
It has been snowing for nearly a week straight, we are on day three of our self-imposed home rule and we’re already snarling at each other. TheHusband and I have not had a good, healthy, screaming drag out fight for months so we took care of that yesterday afternoon. The fight started when I asked how he planned on cooking the beef for today’s beef pot pie and corkscrewed out to something else entirely, as it always wants to do. I’ve never understood these people who claim they never fight with their partner — how boring and uninspiring those people must be! I can’t imagine living in perfect harmony day in, day out — it would be living with a husk. I need the conflict to keep me enthralled.
Fight out of the way, we’re establishing patterns. We wake up sometime between 8A-9A, the dog is walked. Breakfast is consumed, either something individually or as the case of this morning, a shared meal of pancakes and bacon. TheHusband wanders off to do his thing, I wander off to do mine. Lunch is foraged and dinner is planned between 5P-7P, depending on how hungry we get. Yesterday I baked two sets of muffins, sorted out our grains and legumes, a load of laundry was done, kitchen eternally cleaned, and writing and reading was adhered to. While all that housework seemed to go against the idea of “do nothing staycation,” I can attest I did it all in yoga pants, tshirt, and a sports bra.
This morning was not that much different than yesterdays, except instead of muffins I made the crust for tonight’s dinner as it needs to be chilled and pre-baked before it is used. TheHusband, once his husbandly chores for the morning were completed, has been reading (and randomly singing) in the chair. Tomorrow will probably be no different or the day after that.
And we cannot forget the already mentioned, never ending, infernally maddening snow.
TheHusband has challenged me to another round of “how long can you go without taking a shower,” a family tradition in the making. But two days in, my teeth are feeling fuzzy, my yoga pants are getting slick with day to day dirt, flour, and pug hair, and my hair is standing up on its own without product so I am declining. A bath will be taken this evening, no matter what.
x0x0,
Lisa

This day in Lisa-Universe in: 2012

a place to call home

Frosty Jeeves.
Frosty Jeeves.

Dear Internet,
My list yesterday of 50+ shows to keep you entertained while waiting for the next season of Downton Abbey / Miss Fisher turned out to be a huge hit. Cheers everyone! I’m glad my obsessive television tendencies were finally put to good use! Maybe I should start a “IF YOU LIKE, YOU WILL LOVE” feature because surely, all of this information should go somewhere.
Like the rest of the world, except for apparently Miami, I’m buried under a million feet of snow and ice. It has been snowing steadily since the weekend and if my weather desktop app is to be believed, there does not seem to be an end in sight.
Today marks the half-way point of December (It is also my half-birthday! Happy 41.5 to me!), we have not even hit the longest day of the year and I am already tired of winter. Kate and I were talking about taking off for a long weekend somewhere where we can pile on the 50SPF, drink fruity drinks with dangerous amounts of alcohol in them, and go swimming in blue oceans. And no partners allowed – no husbands, no boyfriends, no whiny dogs OR kids. We just may need to make this happen.
This week has been awful for many of my close crazy friends and that has been making me feel helpless, as I watch them struggle with their own diseases and I cannot help them. My own anxiety has been setting off like crazy at the tiniest of changes and moods. I’ve been having anxiety attacks at the most random of places, and at the most random of times, namely all fast beating of my heart that makes me feel like my chest is about to explode. Sometimes the beating is so hard and fast, you can see my shirt move or the pulse visibly quickens at various pulse points on my body. The attacks come on quick, there is no warning, and then leave just as if they never happened.
I am grateful they have been short lasting, for when they are prolonged, I tend to get exhausted quicker and immediately go into protect mode where I want to cut off all contact with the world, something difficult to do when at work. I have not been taking my Klonopin as often as I should have done, even when the first attack hit on Monday. When I had one today while randomly discussing something benign with a friend, all I wanted to do was take a whole pill, which would have promptly knocked me out. I need to score my pills for anxiety emergencies because this unnecessary insurmountable stress will just keep getting worse.
Friday at roughly 4PM is my last work day for the semester and I do not have to be back on campus until January 8th. TheHusband is already off for his holiday vacation and does not have to back until January 6th. We have absolutely no glorious plans other than my mother-in-law who is coming to visit between the 25th and 1st. I have stocked up on jim jams, tea, and will be sure to keep comfort food around me. My goal? To do absolutely nothing but wallow in my own filth, drink lots of tea, do old lady crafts when the mood strikes, watch more hours of the telly, and stuff myself silly with chocolate and treats.
x0x0,
Lisa

This day in Lisa-Universe:

Put a cravat on it

STOP! The list and links on this post are now over at put a cravat on it: the list, which will be regularly updated. This article will no longer be updated. Please update your bookmarks accordingly!

Richard Armitage, in a motherfucking cravat!, as Mr. Thornton in NORTH AND SOUTH.
Richard Armitage, in a motherfucking cravat!, as Mr. Thornton in NORTH AND SOUTH.

Dear Internet,
A couple of years ago, my friend Matt (apparently astounded at my knowledge of British television) said half seriously/half jokingly that if he ever wanted to know what British TV shows to watch, he’d have to just read my Twitter feed.  He then suggested I should put together a list of all recommended shows to point people to so they can get in on the action rather than combing through my copious tweets. On a snowy day this past January, I did exactly that. I called it telly watching: a guide to uk tv & radio and it took me forever to put together and it is no where near complete. Or even started for that matter – it’s not even a dust mote of a dent in my ever growing list.
Last night on Twitter, a conversation broke out about several period, mainly British, shows which ended up as a recommendations engine powered by librarians. The problem with this, as you might have guessed, is how much sheer knowledge of British / period film / TV series existed between us all. So I thought I would draw up a list as methadone until the next season of Downton / Miss Fisher / Sherlock start.
The list is in no particular order, mainly British period pieces up to the early ’60s with primarily strong female leads. I KNOW I am missing a lot, so if you feel there is an absolute MUST HAVE, let me know via email or comments and I’ll update the list! Due to sheer volume, I left out movies and every incarnation of Dickens/Austen/Bronte and others. Everything below is either a mini series or a regular series. One day there may be a movie version of the list — maybe.
Show name links take you to information about the show. I checked all three main US streaming sites — but be warned! Some of the shows are not available for free as part of Amazon Prime OR on regular Hulu. If you end up paying for season pass or buying Hulu Plus — don’t say I did not warn you. Acorn.TV is a streaming service that allows you to watch as a channel on the Roku or online. If you’re a big fan of Britishisms, it’s absurdly cheap ($30/year!) and packed with a mighty list of things not available anywhere. Some shows are exclusive to some specific stations, like Parade’s End on HBO, and since those shows are available streaming to subscribers, I added those too.
Shows that are not streaming in the US (such as Breathless and Up The Women), I kept because they fall into the genre and are available off the back of the truck. Please do not ask me to get shows for you or where to find them. I’m only letting you know they are available for you to find.
Updated: December 6, 2014 Total: 107

Maybe now I should go finish the telly watching: a guide to uk tv & radio guide?
x0x0,
Lisa
P.S. I get a lot of questions on where I find out about all of my Britishisms – other than the usual internets chatter, I follow the following blogs: Digital Spy, Telly Visions, Tellyspotting, TVWise, Radio Times, and BBC History Extra.
P.P.S Updated at 12:07 PM and added nearly a dozen more shows.
P.P.P.S. Updated 1/4/2014 with another dozen shows.
P.P.P.P.S Updated 5/30/2014 with 30 more shows.

This day in Lisa-Universe:

“Do you have the balls to wear it?”

View of Edinburgh from the castle, 2006
Dear Internet,
I am feeling out of sorts today primarily due to the bloodwolves have started sniffing around House Rabey, coupled with work pressure as this is the last week before the end of the semester. I have also been doing a lot of writing for work and profesh related things, so I need a break from looking at a computer screen for awhile. I thought instead of writing, I’d offer up more images from my grand adventures across the seas. As always, you can find more at this collection on Flickr.
Basílica de la Sagrada Família, Barcelona, 2004
Basildon Park (Netherfield in Pride and Prejudice 2005), England, 2008.
Vatican Museum, Vatican City, Italy, 2005.
Paris, May 2010
Pimp your kot!, Brussels 2010
“Do you have the balls to wear it?”, Edinburgh 2006
xoxo,
Lisa

This day in Lisa-Universe:

“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.”

cmmrb get together, august 2013.
cmmrb get together, august 2013.
L-R Back row: Me, Sarah, Carolyn, Julie, Beth, Kristin
Front: Val
Missing: Anna, Sarah, Amanda, Kristi, Anne

Dear Internet,
It began a few years back when several of us were planning to attend C2E2, looking for hotel roommates to split the bill and then we started collecting other lost souls along the way. In the years hence, we’ve morphed into this incredible collection of women that have become my sisters who are not my sisters.
Our main online meeting place is Facebook. For months when I had been thinking about leaving social media, I was having a hard time reconciling leaving them — because I couldn’t. It would be awful, like my soul was getting ripped in two. But there are some decisions that have to be made, some that are painful to make. I knew Facebook and other online areas were giving me a lot of grief as time sucks and wastes of space. I had to make a choice and deactivating my account on Facebook was what needed to happen.
Every single one of those ladies rallied with me, emailed/texted me to make sure I was okay.  I found myself missing them a lot more, in the safe space we head provided for ourselves for dishing everything from our lives to harmless gossip about our stories, as the days went on. I found myself wanting to confide in them everything that has been going on, but couldn’t. I am not ready to activate my regular Facebook account, and truthfully, I don’t think I’ll be in that space for a long time. While I have been corresponding with them individually, I needed their love as a whole fill in the rough edges and comfort the difficult days.
I just needed them. Together, within arms length for me to love.
Beth twisted my arm to come back, even under my seekret Facebook account, which is what I did. A sudden sense of relief and happiness that I never knew was apparently hovering near the top, came over me once I saw all their shiny faces together in one spot. I almost started crying at my desk.
I am never leaving them again.
x0x0,
Lisa

This day in Lisa-Universe: 2008

I am concealing many things; that is what a lady does

MissFisher
Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

Dear Internet,
I love Sundays.
This is the day I give myself complete freedom to do whatever I want. Sleep in late, read the paper in full, don’t get out of my jimjams, read all day in bed, mainline TV shows, bake all the things, take a two hour bath, or write the great Canadian-American novel; doesn’t matter. Sunday is the day that I do all, some, or none of those things. Sunday is the day for me.
This morning I woke with a purpose and the dreams of my sleep still vivid (but now fuzzy as the day has progressed). By noon, the bed linens had been the changed, the dog had been walked, several loads of laundry were completed, and TheHusband was in the process of making his chili for our consumption later. I had declared this to be a day of “reading::writing,” which apparently meant I was going to mainline Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries all day long. This turned out to be a very fine idea, indeed.
I first came across Miss Fisher on Acorn TV. If you are a fan of British or British-esque television series, serials, and movies, hie thee to their website and sign up for their streaming services, which are ungodly cheap of $30 a year. Yes, that’s right — $30 for an entire year of Britishisms. Acorn TV is available as a channel on Roku and can also be watched on your computer/tablet. Acorn is the company that produces many (if not most) of the Britishisms DVDs that are made available via PBS, so the company is legit. While their streaming catalog is small, it is often mighty, and routinely updated.
[According to Acorn TV, they are going to start streaming seasons two of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries in January. Since Netflix picked up the show almost a year after Acorn TV had it for season one, this might be a good time to sign up!]
So let us hurry back to Miss Fisher for we must not keep her waiting.
The premise is this: Honorable Phryne Fisher, she who is named after an ancient Greek courtesan, returns to 1920s Melbourne after years away. Rich, beautiful, young, and clever, Miss Fisher has seen a thing or two of the world and decides that her next calling in life is to be a lady detective. The first episode, Cocaine Blues, deals with a murder, cocaine ring, and an illegal abortionist.  Series one follows the trail of the books and series two is apparently based on original to the show work.
Most who fall in love with the series do so for varied number of reasons: the costuming (bloody hell, her frocks!), the time period, the location, Miss Fisher’s general bad assery, and the murder mysteries are not spoon fed to the viewers. For me, there are a couple of things about this series that stand out, namely the subjects and topics that even by 21st century tastes could be construed as being provocative: Education, abortion, women’s rights,  worker’s rights, family planning,  slavery, adoption, religion, and the list goes on. These are very big topics to tackle, and the show has done them with grace and tact. It is not sensationalized or feels phony as there is a level of understatement that cannot be missed about the problems and issues that wrapped up 1920s Melbourne.
Some of the critiques of Miss Fisher, the books and the television show, stem from the unlikelihood of her “modern sensibilities and mannerisms” would be real in the 1920s, which means someone has not been paying attention to history. Much of the women’s rights movement began in that era and Miss Fisher’s seemingly flippant devil may care attitude and sexuality are right in line with the period.

My sins are too many and varied to mention, and frankly I intend to continue sinning so I won’t waste your time.Miss Phryne Fisher, S1 Ep9 Queen of the Flowers

And that is perhaps why I fell so deep and hard for this show – Miss Fisher is a strong role model breaking with gendered traditions to live the life she feels best suits her. She does not have misguided notions of marriage, family, or love. She takes lovers with the same ease I use picking out what pair of Chucks I’m going to wear and makes it clear to them she’s not the type of women to be committed. She makes a fabulous aunt and ward, but would never dream of being a mother. She bucks against the traditions of ladies etiquette, deportment, and social graces by finding them damning and of ill use in her modern world but is still skilled enough to use them when needed. Instead, she becomes a Renaissance woman in the purest sense of the word: She speaks several languages, learns how to protect herself with martial arts, can tango as well as juggle balls. She’s lived a paupers life and a rich life, she’s traveled extensively, she was an artists model and worked in the circus. She can pick locks and fly an airplane. She is kind, generous, and she chooses and creates her urban family of misfits who are fiercely loyal to her.
Miss Phryne Fisher sets to prove a woman can and should have it all but she does it with an elegance and grace many of us in this modern world, I myself am highly guilty of this, lack. There is a ring of criticism that Miss Fisher falls into the camp of “she’s-too-perfect-itis” and while I can see the value of that criticism, I think the writers have done well with giving Miss Fisher backstories to illustrate she is not so perfect after all.
Because Miss Fisher becoming the new hotness, I’ve collected some worthy links to the TV series, books, and other interests to get you started:

If you’re a fan of mysteries and looking for something to take the Downton edge off, I would highly implore you to check out Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries post haste!
xoxo,
Lisa

This day in Lisa-Universe: 2012, 1998

mondo bizarro

Pig, East Asian Museum, Bath, England, 2008.
Dear Internet,
Every week, like a dependable clock, I make it to Dr. P.’s office to talk about what is going on inside my head. Even if I do not feel like going, this is my weekly touchstone so I force myself to go because on occasion, a lot of occasions I should add, I am not a dependable narrator of my own life. I felt totally fine Thursday morning. A little manic in the brain, but nothing I felt like I could not handle. My plan was to wrestle over some ideas I had brought forth earlier, which we did, and then head on my merry little way to work for the day.
[It should be noted he tutted my fears of not having grown as a person. As he explained it, we will have similar feelings  at 15, 25, or 55. How we react with those feelings are the strength of what moves us forward as human beings.]
Instead  of taking the right fork off of Cascade Road to head to downtown, I took the fork to the left to head home. In the short drive from his office to that point, I had triggered myself into some kind of hyper mania mode in which I tried to drive 60 MPH on a residential street, Google a question on my phone, and make a phone call all at the same time. Coincidentally, none of the events are related to the other. Thankfully, I had caught myself right when this started, threw my phone down to the passenger foot well and put forth all of my effort into driving. My head had started pounding and I felt like I could not think behind the next breaths worth of words. I was snapping in and out of forgetfulness of what I needed to do (stop at the light, slow down, do not hit the car in front of you, put the phone down).
I needed to get home. Now.
Once I was safe, I called in sick to work with the complaint of a migraine which was not that far off from the truth. The spinning of thoughts and the need to do all the things at once can happen with the speed of a whirling dervish. At times, the  incredibly intense headaches start pulsating so hard, there have been occasions where I have felt faint or sick.
After coming home and unpacking my work stuff (God. What a waste of war paint.), I grabbed a big cup of tea, the heating blanket, took a Klonopin and read for most of the day in bed. I started and finished one book and put in another 100+ pages split between two others. I knew if I looked at any electronics, the mania would intensify. Case in point: I had nearly $500 in my fab.com cart with the intent of purchasing before realizing what I was doing  and putting away my iPad. Shopping, aimlessly shopping for no other reason then to get stuff and spending money, is another symptom of my mania.
As the afternoon ticked on and thanks to the Klonopin, my mania began to subside. I started feeling better, not immensely better, but better. The world started coming into focus a bit more, I did not feel like I could barely speak, and the steady stream of tea and print books filled in the missing bits of the puzzle.
The dog snoozed at my left hip, I dozed in and out of sleep myself and around 5PM, I was feeling strong enough to sort out some afternoon chores. If I could make it through those simple tasks (unload and load the dishwasher, wrap a few presents, get food stuffs ready for tomorrow), I could give myself permission to read, write, or do whatever for the rest of the evening.
Edited note: Morning interlude. Dinner last night was pizza, which I greedily consumed after eating Benadryl and Lactaid before the gooey cheese hit my mouth. An hour after dinner, while I was writing this, the Benadryl kicked in, coupled with the effects of the earlier taken Klonopin, I almost fell asleep with my hands still moving over the keyboard. I kissed TheHusband goodnight, who yelled as I left his office to not forget the bocce ball tournament in the morning with the ladies from the home (his joke on my age). I shuffled down to our bedroom, set the alarm for 6AM as I had to be at work at 7:30AM this morning, took my contacts out, set the heating blanket on 3, turned on Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, and was asleep before the blanket had warmed and the opening credits were done rolling.
I woke this morning on time and feeling fantastic. Not mania fantastic, just regular fantastic. But sleeping for nearly 10 hours, in a lovely drugged  effort that allows for no brain interruption can do that for you. I have been rebooted, for the moment.
I edited this piece before publishing to clean up the debris from the night before. Writing when I’m manic, even subdued, reads as if I am concocting my own language. Words are out of order, incorrectly used, or are missing altogether, punctuation has gone to the wayside, and my word retrieval is fucking awful.  When I am depressed, it is the complete opposite – suddenly I’m laying it thick like T.S. Eliot and Hemingway copulated and I am a product of that copulation.
Welcome to my inner world.
xoxo,
Lisa

This day in Lisa-Universe: