Rated SFW: Reimagining the librarian stereotype through porn.*

*This is not a typo. [Though it DOES sound like a great article/book title…]
When I started library school a few years ago, I made a half-hearted attempt at collecting librar. related paraphernalia (books, t-shirts, etc), obtaining anything that gave even a passing nod on this topic. One of my “treasures” was an awful romance called, The Dewey Decimal System of Love [Pub date, 2003]. And yes, the book is as bad as the title sounds as I gave it a one star at LibraryThing and GoodReads, complete with a scathing review.
I put the collecting part on hold for bit as the librar. themed materials began to outgrow what my wallet would allow. It’s only natural that as librarians become more vocal in reimagining themselves in the public eye, so too must follow the send-ups, parodies, satire and love-letters (to an extent) to those wonderful keepers of knowledge.
What I was not expecting, however, was just how thick (pardon the innuendo) the treasure trove of heaving bosom romance/erotica dedicated to librarians has become in the last few years. Last night I was doing some research on professional development books for librarians on Amazon.com and found the mother lode of erotica and porn dedicated to and about librarians mixed in with professional development materials. (That also cracked me up, but at 3AM I’m fairly easy to please.) One result would be a guide to reader’s advisory and the next would be a XXX offering of hot librarian lurve.
What made this even better is that almost every book had a Kindle version (or was only available in the Kindle format), which meant they almost ALL had first chapters to read for free. So what did I do last night for several hours? Sought out and read terrible erotica with a librarian theme! And it was not terrible because I’m a prude by any stretch of the imagination, it was terrible when you have lines like “..feeling the bubbling juices squish luxuriously within my spasming cunt.” and “Cheryl Parker reached up to the highest bookshelf to grab the misplaced book with a tiny, frustrated sound. She made a mental note to speak to the new book shelfer.” Or lovely titles such as Lusty Librarians and Threesome in The Mattress Store [Pub date, unknown. Kindle availability only.].
As I am a mistress of obtaining, sorting and providing information – and for you own amusement – I’m including majority of the titles I read last night. You’re welcome.

P.S. Yes, it becomes clear that many of these are self-published for a reason but by the grace of Nigel, would it have KILLED them to use a spell-checker. Shelfer? Really? Ugh.
P.P.S. Now that I think about it, it would not be unrealistic to learn that with the plethora of new titles in the last few years, these were written by recent MLIS grads or librarians recently made redundant. Mortgages and student loans do not pay themselves you know. Or themselfs. Heh.