third person

One thing that is very true about me is that I’m slow on the uptake on some of the most basic, common sense things. For example, shortly after I bought my 2004 Ion, my friend Karen and I took off to Detroit to see The Twilight Singers. I had not had time to explore my car as properly as I should have, one supposes, and to Karen’t delight and my embarrassment she discovered how to operate a few things in my car that I had no clue about. Which brings me to today, as I’m sitting at Saturn of Grand Rapids waiting on having my car fixed. Jon had joked that since VW had wireless, surely Saturn must have wireless for their customers as well. Armed with my laptop, to surf pron of course, I discovered that Saturn does NOT have wireless. I had some work I wanted to get done on and could do so locally, and as I was putzing around, I discovered the beauty of the function key. Apparently, the function key has a list of short-cuts that are accessible via the keyboard that I had zero idea about. And I’ve had this laptop for nearly a year.
Or perhaps it’s not so much that I’m slow on the uptake, rather, I’m oblivious to small details. Something I’m desperately working on to “fix.”
So right, Saturn, car getting fixed. Nothing major — simply my windshield wipers are not working. And if it is one thing in a Michigan winter you do not want to have is broken windshield wipers. I’m also getting a quote on getting new tires. But what is really making my panties wet is the a Saturn Sky is parked not three feet from me. Black. Shiny. I have images of myself wearing a headscarf and big sunglasses whipping in and out of traffic in this baby. Reality, of course, sets in. I’m broke. I made about $15K last year, take home ridiculously less. I’m in graduate school. I’m living paycheck to paycheck. A new car is not a need but a want. And I argue with myself, of course, about this. One side states, “But you only live once! What is the harm of incurring more debt?” while the other side argues, “Uh, you are robbing Peter to pay Paul. You have $13 dollars in your checking account. Be reasonable about this!” “But the car would make us feel better! We could whip around town looking fabulous AND it would be the reason to have Jon teach us to drive a stick.” “You know how to drive a stick.” “Yes, but it’s been ages since we’ve actually DRIVEN one. A beat-up Dodge Omni doesn’t count.” “You can’t, even remotely afford the payments.” “So?”
This wouldn’t be so humerous if it were not for the fact that both sides ARGUE. ALL. THE. TIME. About every freaking purchase that I want. I give in the want more so than the need, 9/10, and I know — I shouldn’t. BUT YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE! (Shut up!) And when one starts referring to oneself in third person…