friend is a four letter word

i’m slowly becoming disgusted with my “friends” both locally and online.

i’m not quite sure what’s been setting me off lately, but i just can’t tolerate people who are NOT doing things for themselves. I’m becoming disgusted because my “friends” who seemingly supposed to like me for “me” tend to like me for the fact I have a car, i have money (and often pay their way) and that my house is always open. i recently put an end to one person who was doing that to me (and had found that they were backstabbing me in the process of my and paul’s generosity). i don’t like people who use people and i don’t like the way some of my so-called-friends have been using us.

i brought this up with someone, whom i found out later, was backstabbing me in the back. i was upset and angry after everything i had given this person that they could, with such little disregard, turn around and treat me like this. it was not just me, but paul as well as now that we are together, we are singular entity, not plural.

as i’ve stated before, i’ve had very little disregard for politics and for politicking. in many ways, i’m too honest with my own assessment of myself and others around me to even think about doing this professionally. this singular reason, for being honest, is the reason why i’ve never succeeded in doing things or obtaining higher positions in my previous employment. my old employeers knew, that i knew things about them (their dishonesty, their own lack of moral fiber). this is why i never understood “big business” because half the fucking time it’s kissing some major ass.

no one, simply, wants to hear the truth. we live in this glass world fed digitally by the internet, radio stations, television stations and paper media. all too often, with my 10+ magazine subscriptions coming in a month, my whore-like attitude towards reading online journals and blogs (though i never read that many more than once) and my consumption to know, i feel more comfortable in my little shell. So you can plainly see, why if someone lies to me, betrays me or does anything to hurt me, i cut them off at the quick.

i’ve often been called a cold-hearted bitch because once i break up with someone (rather platonic or intimate), that’s it. there is no more good byes there is no more hellos. i grab my shit and leave.

and that is the the end of that.


paul’s parents have left and i’ll save that for when i’m more coherent. i just finished a project (albeit a small one) that i’ve been working on this evening. the concept is called “a self portal” and it is situated on and i just wrote the readme file for it, and that is tonight’s entry (i’m lazy and full of good japanese food — fuck off).


what the hell is a “self portal”?

i asked myself that several times when i came up with the idea, but it basically boils down to this:

in 1996 i registered my first domain, (which you are looking at now). initially, it was just your usual catchall personal homepage bullshit with my writings, bs, pictures and what not. starting in late 1997, i registered and had decided to start doing “consulting work” and make .com the “business” page and .org the journal. later, .com just became a referrer for the .org and the .org became the lisa chronicles.

the lisa chronicles was the start of an almost daily journal that was included previous ‘zine work i had one as well as updates that i was doing more frequently (about 3x a week). In 1998 i had registered as a joke and as a personal narsative on daily fragments. this brought my stable of domains up to four.

in 1999, when paul and i had moved in together, that required a new domain: geek- which then lead to being registered for our friends locally. soon i became tired of being associated with the word simunye (zulu/xosha for “we are one”) and registered as the new home for the journal. and lastly, in early 2000, i registered as a new ‘zine i was going to be working on with several people (it, obviously, never got off the ground).

this brings the grand total to eight domains.

having that many domains (and not doing jack with them) started to bother me. and were being updated (modgirl more so than bitchasshoe). novageeks was going to be static and geek-haus, simunyecom/org and verbosity i had no idea what the fuck to do with.
i started mapping out what each domains worth was to me and what i had envisioned. it broke down to the following:

  • daily (well almost daily) journal of my life
  • : running commentary on current events
  • daily fragments that didn’t fit anywhere
  • local updates for the Northern Virginia area
  • my “personal” website
  • : lisa and paul: uncensored
  • portals

the idea of a “portal” became necessary as a way of explaining how my mind works (many tangents at once), my different interest and likes without jamming it into one page. someone may like one page and not the others or what have you. having a portal to link to the many websites made it easier for me (it is all about me) without having to figure out where everything was going. also, anyone who is a “fan” (and i use that term loosely) will be able to see so many sides to me.

cheesy? perhaps. but it sure beats having to go through one webpage through link via link via link to crap.

the website breaks down into the following parts:

  • online opinions: areas where i distribute my wealth of knowledge publicly. each link takes you to my main user page where you can read my opine on books, local dc crap, movies and what not.
  • on-line journals: broken down by “genre” this takes you to the sites where i do majority of my writing.
  • wish list: you know, if you feel like you love me and want to send me presents.
  • misc.: stuff that doesn’t fit anything in particular.
  • mailing lists: mailing lists i run or co-run that you may participate in.
  • local: these are going to be sites on the domain i have created in reference to personal interests and likes. i hope to bring a more educated and informative section to things that matter to me.

if you have any questions, please feel free to email me and give me comments, hellos or what not.



do you know the sudden bliss of being able to sit in front of your computer in your undies and not having to worry about a 14yo pubescent boy looking at you? Of course not. But NOW I DO! thank god!

paul’s parents have long come and gone today, taking brian with them for the evening. they probably felt it was best that paul and i were alone since we had not been alone for nearly 6 weeks. we had the usual hot passionate sex in the living room that left us both breathless and while i love brian dearly, i am DEFINITELY not ready to have someone else in this household.

things went really really really well with mommy and daddy sullivan today. so well, i got to drive their brand new 2k durango (it’s in chili pepper red damnit, same color paul and i had chosen) and damn can that baby VROOM VROOM. so it seems i’m in with the sullivan family. i get this weird feeling that they are currently torturing brian all about me, but you know, being paranoid would sort of precedes that. tomorrow (or shall i say today) mommy daddy and brian and i are going to DC for some fun and excitement (while paul sits home and works *winkwinkwink*).

apparently from paul the jury is still out with me. but i mean COME ON here. i’ve got their son being amazingly respectful and polite (training — the lisa way).

i’m a shoe in.

this is just some quick updates. first off, there has been another rash of non-subscribers to the mailing list (a freaking lull really). but i had to clean it out with some of the bounced messages i got from non-working accounts. please remember there are TWO mailing lists: one where you can *discuss* me or one where you can just get this damn thing by email ever ytime i update. you choose. it’s that simple. no really, i’m not kidding. it’s that simple. and i know the damn forms work because i DID have someone subscribe to it recently :b and hey, if you want off, you need to email me and let me know.

secondly, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, i do own my own webring called indie diary and i have actually gotten submissions for it (big surprise there). since i finally cleaned up everything out of my inbox, the ring is working and ready to go. so go join you idiots!

thirdly, lately i’ve been obsessed with referrers (how people find my site). and i gotta tell you, its damn scary to see how often i come up in serach engines for sex related questions, but not just about vanilla sex, some sick ass shit. since i won’t bother putting those down here (i mean, really, we are talking a few extra thousand hits a month from these damn things — ben is right: i do talk about sex a lot. or enough of something considering one of the bounced email messages i was getting was because one of my subscribers email was being scanned for specific words before relaying on to her. VEDDY INTERESTING). but what i did do, is start linking back to sites that link to me. i have removed search engine referrers, referrers from my other domains, referrers from and commercial websites and anything internal from the list is small right now, however, i do know that there were other sites that had me linked that i can’t find now. so if you are linking back to me, let me know and i’ll add back to you. i’m feeling generosity ooze out of my bones today, lemme tell ya. but no seriously. you can see the small list here.

However, this is something pretty cool:
i had gotten added to a few days after i submitted my site to their directory (which from what i heard from some friends of mine is damn quick!). and apparently, if you do searches for lisa diary OR lisa chronicles not only do i come up BUT i come up in the top position. someone asked me whose ass i kissed at yahoo, but to be honest, no ones and i have no affiliation to yahoo whatsover. it’s just kinda neat.

and lastly
i’ve been updating my book enteries as promised. Since i haven’t gotten any feedback from anyone, i’ve been back to buying the same old trash day in and day out and adding it as i go. yes, those books are read one after the other. and yes, i’ve been good on doing reviews for them at i WAS doing them at, however, jeff bezos and his cohorts ARE NOT UPDATING THE REVIEWER PAGE. *ahem*. so yah, i thought about doing stuff locally but that’s too much fucking work for me being lazy and all. but i’m also reading cleopatras tome (1500 pages) and its one of those books i read inbetween books. so really, my mind isn’t always in the gutter. so please go search for any of the books listed and read my reviews. i’m just all cool like that.

sub hatched open.
all 118 are believed dead.

aren’t i just full of love this morning?