song was unintentional, i swear!

Okay, question:
I am bipolar with a side dash of social anxiety disorder. I’ve been feeling pretty damn good for these last eight months and yah I’ve had my ‘days’ but not like it used to at all when I used to be crippled up in bed for days because I was so depressed or I was so manic that I’d stay up for days on end.
So my question is, should this not concern me that I’m bipolar? I’ve done the drug route (and have been on lithium, buspar, wellabutrin, celexa, and other half dozen I can’t remember) and all the shrinks have not worked (been seeing them since I was nine) and I guess I’m going the more au natural route but either I’m too strong willed or something because being bipolar is a major illness and yet I’m kinda like, totally nonchalat about it. In fact I’d say than othe the rare really blue day, I’ve been pretty even keel.
Questions? Ideas? Anything?

streaming

Streaming is/has been up for some time now as I continue ripping cds. I’m currently up to 1010 mp3s or about 70Hours of music, according to winamp;
If there are lag, it is mostly due to me ripping cds — even though my computer is pretty hefty it seems to choke every now and then and dupe songs are due to me having the same song on differnet albums. I’m not gonna get THAT pedantic about it 😉
OH and only has a maxusers 10 at any given time.
This is up 24 hours a day.

lots to update

Holy shit, I can’t believe it’s nearly 4am. Tonight I wanted to go to bed around midnight as I’m going out with Danny tomorrow and Saturday I’m going out with a tonne of people (lotus_flower, ministerofsilly, theology class paul and his wife, matt and danny. No idea what we are doing or where are going but I love planning stuff like this. Maybe I should be a party coordinator 🙂 Anyways, lots happened in the last few days so I’m gonna lj-cut stuff and read what you like. 🙂
horrorscope for August 1
What would happen if you just simply decided to take care of yourself today, lisa? This is what the planets are trying to tell you. You need to relax, to be taken care of, and to close you eyes and dream or fall asleep. Leave those daily tasks behind you today. You need peace and quiet. Lie down and empty your mind of all your worries. You don’t need to act, you don’t need to react, just lie down and relax…
She called and left me a message yesterday as I was walking out the door to the tattoo place and she placed him on the bus back to GR (he is from here). If you didn’t read the SUPER LONG ENTRY, a summary:
[23:42] modgirllisa: So let me get this straight, you haven’t seen him in 12 years let alone talk to him and you invited him down to see you in Cincy with you paying the bus fare. He shows up with five bucks and a: you are surprised that he wants to take advantage of you and b: you want to keep him there because you want to torture him?
[23:43] modgirllisa: If that is all true, are you fucking insane?
23:45] houseguesfromhell: well.. your paraphrasing makes it sound a little different than how I said it…
[23:45] houseguesfromhell: but you are right
I called her on the way to literacy training today and she told me she got a call from his boyfriend and he (her friend) is apparently a crackhead (as in, smokes the pipe not as in a figure of speech) and her friend the crackhead had apparently asked her for MONEY when she called to see if he was home okay. I wanted to shake her through the phone. The issue here is that she has had this habit of getting in touch with people from her past and then acts surprised when they aren’t what they seem. Now, I have no problems keeping in touch with people from my past but for fuck sakes, you have to draw the line somewhere and she doesn’t get that. She still acts like if they are one way a decade ago, they are the same today.
I feel very good for standing up to her. She’s VERY controlling and she takes everything as apersonal slight . We will see what happens with our friendship as her date to move back to GR approaches.
Before I bought my Canon A300, I had a Kodak DX3500 that Paul (my ex) and I had bought on my birthday in 2001. At the time, the camera for it’s features was the best bet for money. After buying the docking station, the recharge batteries, the memory card and the four year extra warranty, we spent close to 500 bucks.
As time went on, it became apparent the camera was a piece of shit. THe reason was that every image it took look like it was smeared with vaseline. As time progressed and I had found the warranty (heh), I decided on my move back to GR I was going to have it fixed and maybe get it upgraded to a newer camera if the warranty would allow it. Best Buy no longer did onsite repair and it was shipped back to Kodak and Kodak “reset the factory defaults” and shipped it back to me. The camera had the EXACT same issue when it came back and even though ministerofsilly and lotus_flower have the same camera, they weren’t experiencing the same problems, so that pretty much made up my mind to just buy a new camera and give the Kodak to my brother. Well right after I had ordered my Canon, the Kodak died. I took it back to Best Buy, told them it was broken and said “It might be something as stupid as the batteries” (cos silly me didn’t check to see if the recharges had actually stopped working) but if it isn’t the batteries, could they please look at it again and figure out what the hell is wrong with it because it stil has the SAME problem and while previous Best Buy techs told me that it was the memory card (the ones that you buy not the one internal) I disagreed because I had gone through several memory cards that worked FINE in other cameras and it wasn’t the memory card.
Well Best Buy called me yesterday to tell me that Kodak sent the camera back and it was not worth repairing apparently and I get to go into Best Buy to get a NEW ONE! WOOO! How cool is that? I’ll have two new cameras 🙂 I was planning on giving this one to my brother but now he can go fuck himself. Please see next post 😉
I won’t bore you with details on my family history but what I will say as a backstory is that my parents got married, had me and my mom left when I was five months old (I was not a shotgun wedding baby ;). She dated my brother’s father later on and got pregnant with him. My mom has always felt that since I had a father figure in my life (hah) that my brother deserved more attention. He is still the favorite with ehr even though in the seven months since I’ve been back to GR, I’ve seen her on the average of about once a month and he’s seen mother twice.
With that being said, my brother and I have a strange relationship. It’s been very off for a long time now and it’s slowly escalating till we no longer speak for weeks at a time though we live two miles apart. While yes, this is sad, the part is that I am REALLY tired of him mocking me, my lifestyle, my choices, and everything else, especially my dogs (when I’m not around, he used to bring his pitbull Chaos over and force her to fight wednesday. Wednesday weighs 17lbs, Chaos weighs like 60). He’s borrowed money from me and never paid me back, I’ve fixed his broken down 86 Caddy more times I can count, I mean really the list is endless. Well tonight took the cake. He had called me about getting copies of his resume printed and I called him back and I guess I rambled on the phone for a few minutes as I was on break from Literacy training and when he called me back, he mocked me for a good solid 2 minutes on my cell phone. I called him back, very coherent and said “You know, I’ve busted my ass helping you out in your time of need (which is often I might add) and you always mock me for everything, grow the fuck up and find other friends to “help you”. I clicked the ‘end’ button on my cell phone as angerily as one can click an ‘end’ button. Tonight after I got home he got online (phone got turned back on apparently) and he started giving me shit, AGAIN. I said look, I’m not helping you and he said “Well what the fuck do you do all day you are lazy you are xyz”. Yes, I don’t have a job, but I am doing stuff and you know, unless I’m at your door with no place to live it’s not your place to comment on my lifestyle. So then he launches into how it’s my fault how he lost out on a job oppturnity because he couldn’t get in touch with me to get his resume in. This is MY problem? I don’t think so and told him so, he has several copies of his resume that I sent him numerous times. This went on, I resent him a copy (three times) of his resume tonight and I bet I won’t hear much from him in the future. I really do not know what is going to happen with him at this point and to be honest at the path we are heading right now, I don’t see a bright future.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about my tendency to get anal about my credit report. The number one thing right now that is killing me is that GMAC (car bill) is showing up twice, making it look like I have two accounts open. WHen I called equifax, I started an investigation and I got a letter today from them telling me that Equifax had contacted GMAC and that both accounts were correct. I launched into another explaintion and the person who took the call said “well, there wasn’t that in the investigation, so I’ll resubmit it and it will be taken care of”. I called GMAC and they said the reason why this happened was because it the original billing office was closed and all accounts were moved to another one and hence why they got renumbered. They said this will be resolved within 72 hours. So, lets hope on that shall we.
For some reason, people always seem surprised that not only am I single, but I’m not really dating. While I appreciate the candor in them thinking I’m really that hot to trot, I think a lot of has to do with being well, as eccentric as I am. Last I recall, being tall, chubby, heavily tattooed and pierced, a geek, a gamer, a pug owner and a student weren’t in big demands these days. But no matter, I really don’t feel like there isn’t someone out there for me, rather, I feel like it’s gonna be a long wait and I suck at dating so what the hell is the point because I get bored quickly and there seems to be no end to litany of stupid questions. One chap who chats me up on Yahoo! always talks about us getting together but never really does anything to plan getting together. I once asked him something and he said “I talk to you all the time, isn’t that enough?” Um, no genius, we never MET and if we are even remotely interested in each other wouldn’t it be prudent to say, swap emails? Maybe call ? OH I DON’T KNOW! Besides he lives in Chicago, and while he is cute and has a great taste in music, fuck him and his vinyl.
With that being said, I have in the past posted personal ads in both SF, DC and here in GR. Both SF and DC were more like looking for like minded people getting together (not necessairly sexual) but because I wanted to expand my friends groups. None of them panned out except for one guy whom I’ve simply become good friends with (hi niasyn ;] ) And even then due to differing schedueles we really don’t chat that much.
At any rate, I did the same thing when I came back to GR, I did the same thing. A few intersting people responded but it never panned out. A few weeks ago, I was talking to a few people in a irc channel I hang out with and decided to post and ad on yahoo! again to see if anything had changed in the last six months. This time, I even included pics! (Yahoo personal name is buttercupthepowerpuffgrrl if you are curious). No nibbles for a few days and I wasn’t really that worried about it. The pics were posted of me being dorky for a reason and after finding out a few couples that I knew had met via personals and had gotten married, I felt like I had hope of that maybe I could meet some interesting people.
If you don’t read the ad, here is what I say in short: I’m tall, thick bodied, caucasin, black hair and brown eyes and am single, not affliated with any religion, I’m in education/acadameia, I have tattoos and piercings, I’ve lived in several places like DC and SF, I’m in college as a undergrad. I am a music and movie buff, I love cartoons. I giggle a lot. I’m not your typical girl. I also do not have kids nor am I sure about wanting any (they do not have an option for yes i want kids but later). I post what I’m looking for is the following:
“A geek who reads. A geek who reads, like going out and is tall! A geek who reads, likes pop culture, playing video games, going out, is tall and has a british accent! 😉 So, I’m picky, this is my ad and I can be as picky as I wanna be.”
And as most people would say, that sums me up in short, right? Right. I’m pretty specific about who I am and what I want. So please tell me, why then a man who is looking for a black woman, ages 18-50 with KIDS AND is a christian who attends services MORE THAN TWICE A WEEK who is a stay at home mom would respond to my ad? Or the guy who said (and I quote directly)
“i know im not the kind of guy you are
looking for but i just had to tell you your
ad is the most interesting , cool and honest
ad ive ever read i think its great and you
must be too well good luck”
Which is fine, but the part about the first guy kills me because obviously i’m not black, christian (or at least any prescriped religion), and I don’t have kids and I am NOT a stay at home mom (pugs don’t count). The second fact is is the fact that yahoo allows people to IM the person who wrote the ad, which shows up in trillian as (and from what others tell me, with them as well) as my regular Yahoo address. So That is a bit um, freaky. Because I’d like to keep the two seperate thanks!
But WHY would someone respond if I am not what they are looking for or what they are looking for? And if it were once or twice, I’d be like, that’s fine but this happens EVERY single time I put an ad up. Geez. Hello. I’m not interested in hanging out with you and mother on a sunday afternoon.
Another thing that kills me is that on my yahoo profile page ) several things, like my nickname is “lisa”, i have a long set of interests, my website, that i AM female, where I am located (at least general idea) and I’m in education. Now the funny thing is that I get all these yahoos on yahoo! who will IM me “A/S/L” or “What are your interests (um hello, it’s on my profile page moron) or my particular favorite (this happened this past tuesday)
16:13] dreamcatchermja: Hello There, My name is Michael. I am from Wyoming. I am a Working Chef but I am a Double-major in Accounting and Business Management at Davenport University
[16:38] modgirllisa: hello.
[16:39] dreamcatchermja: Hello
[16:39] dreamcatchermja: How are you today?
[16:40] modgirllisa: just peachy
[16:40] dreamcatchermja: So where are you at now?
[16:40] modgirllisa: in my apartment
[16:41] dreamcatchermja: In G.R.
[16:41] modgirllisa: yes
[16:41] dreamcatchermja: What’s your name?
[16:41] modgirllisa: Lisa
[16:42] dreamcatchermja: Hello Lisa
[16:42] dreamcatchermja: So what would you like to know about me
[16:42] modgirllisa: Nothing.
[16:42] dreamcatchermja: Why?
[16:42] modgirllisa: Because you sound boring.
[16:43] dreamcatchermja: Whatever
[16:43] dreamcatchermja: I like to go to concerts, the beach, and I have jump off a bridge and more
[16:43] modgirllisa: That’s nice.
[16:43] modgirllisa: bye now.
[16:44] dreamcatchermja: I have played chicken with trains and I used to swim in Thunderstorms in Lake Michigan
[16:44] dreamcatchermja: I am Risk Taker so call me “Boring.”
[16:44] modgirllisa: First off, playing chicken with trains and swimming in thunderstorms is not being ‘edgy’ it’s being stupid
[16:44] dreamcatchermja: So you think you are a challenge or what?
[16:44] modgirllisa: and you are boring.
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: I don’t think so.
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: That is when I was young
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: Now I am working hard to have the finer things in life
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: I am going to own several mall businesses
[16:46] dreamcatchermja: So what do you for a living?
[16:47] dreamcatchermja: So what do you for fun?
[16:48] dreamcatchermja: I like to go to thh Beach, play sports, and dance
[16:51] dreamcatchermja: I’m sorry if offended you. Are you ok
[16:56] dreamcatchermja: So what kinds of things spark your interest?
[17:03] dreamcatchermja: I would like know more about you and your interest
[17:10] dreamcatchermja: So tell me something about you? What makes you so fun?
Now first off, I live in Wyoming, subburb of grand rapids, NOT the state 😉 Notice the time breaks, I’m not responding because he’s boring and I left the house and I come back and he’s talking to himself. Jesus christ on a pogostick.
Now, another person who IM’d me recently, YET another winner:
[02:40] beam_me_1: interesting list of interests
[02:40] modgirllisa: thanks
[02:42] beam_me_1: Nin to de Sade is quite a leap
[02:42] beam_me_1: profound to profane
[02:43] modgirllisa: not really
[02:43] beam_me_1: i m all ears
[02:44] modgirllisa: that’s a terrible thing to be
[02:46] beam_me_1: matter of opinion
[02:46] beam_me_1: i m all tongue too – at times
[02:47] modgirllisa: again, another terrible thing to be
[02:50] beam_me_1: and you are a sharp shooter
[02:53] modgirllisa: why thank you, i think
[02:54] beam_me_1: its easy to point and shoot – isn’t it?
[02:54] modgirllisa: well apparently not if you are still here.
[02:55] beam_me_1: i didnt say you were hitting the target
[03:01] beam_me_1: the lisa chronicles
[03:01] modgirllisa: can i help you with something?
[03:02] modgirllisa: or do you ljust like to repeat what is already clear?
[03:07] beam_me_1: what is clear is that no one is interested in mundane
daily lives when there is so much misery
[03:08] modgirllisa: no, what is clear that you are boring me.
[03:09] beam_me_1: or getting under your skin
[03:09] beam_me_1: who reads this?
[03:10] beam_me_1: that you brought a doggie bag home
[03:10] beam_me_1: no amount of school will cure that
[03:13] beam_me_1: it must feel good to feel important
[03:19] modgirllisa: it surely does.
[03:19] beam_me_1: i meant self-important
Here is another one just because it cracks me up:
[01:24] zepher46: …yeah..baby!!…
[01:25] modgirllisa: i’m sorry?
[01:26] zepher46: ….I mean like …YEAH..BABY!!!…
[01:34] modgirllisa: um, sure.
[02:08] zepher46: …later baby….right now its time for
And this one too:
[16:36] iamr0b0t: saw your butt
[16:36] modgirllisa: that’s nice.
[16:36] iamr0b0t: cute
[16:37] iamr0b0t: thats it
[16:37] modgirllisa: thanks. have a nice day.
[16:37] iamr0b0t: you too
[I had posted a pic of my ass on my website. The direct link is here.]
I mean, what the fuck? Heh. Yah and the time breaks are all not modified by me in any sense. But I just don’t GET it! I mean yes, some people would argue that I’m putting myself out there and thusly I can expect these kind of comments (like the ones who see Marquis de Sade and expect that I will be all about getting into BDSM and shit, on yahoo. Yes I like text bdsm. Oh yah baby! Don’t you see me hanging out in the porn forums all the time?) and then the ones who when I had tall people listed on my interests (since removed) at yahoo, would IM me and they would be these fetish super short guys who were looking to have wild sex with a tall female. And while yes, I could remove the interests and remove the website but you know, fuck it. I don’t have anything to hide and I’m very well versed in ignoring the lamers.
I MEAN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IS THERE NOT A SINGLE GUY WHO IS NORMAL (well normal for me anyways…)
If you are not in the know, Thunderbird is the stand alone mail client that is spun off of Mozilla project (). Thanks to kethryvis and our mutual friend Gordon, I was able to figure out it maybe a bug (or a quirk):
I feel so proud!
My final training tonight for literacy training and I got a nify cert. I’m pretty excited. However, I may have fucked up my chances (I think anyways) because I approached the coordinator about a problem I’m having. It’s long been said that I might have a learning disablity because of how I act in certain situations (I can’t concentrate or focus, I have difficult with some tasks such as I’m more of a visual and tactile learner so that auditory learning such as in classrooms is difficult) and a few other things. Apparently there is a local
learning placement program that will test me and it is income based (as in i don’t have any so perhaps this wil be free!) . She seemed concerned and it’s not that I can’t read obviously or comprehend but I’m thinking perhaps they might not let me tutor because of this? I dunno, I’ll find out tomorrow when I call her 🙂
So fingers crossed!!
Damn, I’m done!
BED!

stolen from dojie

The reason why I’m making this private is because a good chunk of my 50 closest “non-friends” I either USED to know or USED to work with and well, we are not on friendly terms anymore. I just thought this was funny 🙂 Oh and dojie, I am on DSL and it still took a few minutes to pull up.
Closest 50 non-Friends for writergeekgirl:
1: susboid, 2: ladyfirebird, 3: lj_maintenance, 4: gruevy, 5: mitrian, 6: lazygarden, 7: ciannait, 8: techranting, 9: dellaran, 10: wechsler, 11: cutadrift, 12: ivory_temple, 13: lj_nifty, 14: calnhobbes, 15: kentarokurahone, 16: edamame, 17: belle1446, 18: boondocks, 19: snapdad, 20: butterbee, 21: clarsa, 22: trillfreelance, 23: panicsyndrome, 24: benetleilax, 25: gloomcookie613, 26: inkie, 27: dilbert_feed, 28: obfuscate, 29: signal11, 30: foxtrot_feed, 31: twistedlogic, 32: pikajew, 33: ih8you, 34: darthmoo, 35: jennarosczyk, 36: lanthinel, 37: professorbooty, 38: bubblegirl_713, 39: gracilejenn, 40: katiemacalister, 41: kayoko, 42: lilstar78, 43: monkeywriter, 44: anomaly6, 45: ass_hats, 46: dpg16, 47: herph, 48: indigoskynet, 49: jwhorfin, 50: libertarianism
You can get your own here.

holy christ on a crutch

it’s 11am and i have NOT gone to bed. I have a 12:30pm appointment with my tattooist to finish DEATH and while I was laying in bed earlier this morning, I got a wild hair up my ass about a project I’m doing and was able to make it look 100x better. thank $diety.
As an aside, houseguestfromhell emailed me this morning as if nothing was wrong. wtf.
I’ll post pictures of the finished DEATH once I get home and then I’m passing out.

i want to rip someones head off and fucking feed their intestines to my dogs

first, there is the houseguest from hell. I’ll include her little conversation with me here:
i also changed her username to “houseguestfromhell”. Yes it’s long but it gives you a jist of what she’s like. The good stuff is at the bottom.
[23:03] houseguesfromhell: you there?
[23:04] modgirllisa: hey there
[23:04] houseguesfromhell: are you upset with me?
[23:04] modgirllisa: no why?
[23:04] houseguesfromhell: you haven’t returned any of my calls
[23:04] modgirllisa: i never got any of your calls
[23:04] houseguesfromhell: you haven’t been answering my im’s
[23:04] modgirllisa: um, the last IM i got from you was when we talked last week
[23:05] houseguesfromhell: not like i sent a lot but i think i sent 2
[23:05] modgirllisa: no, never got them
[23:05] modgirllisa: huh
[23:05] modgirllisa: now the phone thing i can understand because i got the software updated and it’s not taking vm’s now
[23:05] houseguesfromhell: i left you messages on you home and cell voicemails
[23:05] modgirllisa: um
[23:05] modgirllisa: my home vm is showing 0
[23:05] houseguesfromhell: i left you a message on your home phone saying htat I thought something was wrong with you cell phone voicemail
[23:05] modgirllisa: when?
[23:05] houseguesfromhell: let me think for a minute
[23:06] houseguesfromhell: i was calling to ask you a question that only you would know and if I could remember what I was trying to ask you than I could remember what day it was
[23:06] houseguesfromhell: last week sometime
[23:06] houseguesfromhell: like maybe thursday or friday
[23:07] houseguesfromhell: and i called yesterday but got no answer on cell phone with no vm and didn’t leave a mesage at home cause i thought you might be mad at me
[23:07] modgirllisa: no, i’m not.
[23:07] modgirllisa: i called my mom yesterday because i had to do some paperwork for her apartment rental stuff
[23:07] modgirllisa: and she said dhs had called and left me a vm over the weekend on my cell phone
[23:08] modgirllisa: and it wasn’t there
[23:08] houseguesfromhell: i think katie misses the girls
[23:08] houseguesfromhell: she has been acting very weird and lonely sort of.. Not that im trying to by pass what you are saying.. she is just up in my face crying
[23:09] modgirllisa: wow
[23:09] modgirllisa: that’s weird
[23:09] houseguesfromhell: did you go to your last class yet?
[23:09] modgirllisa: for creative writing?
[23:09] modgirllisa: nope that is august 9
[23:09] houseguesfromhell: yeah… thats the one you have every 3 weeks
[23:09] modgirllisa: yep
[23:09] modgirllisa: i finish up literacy trianing this week
[23:10] modgirllisa: and finish working on the web project for the tattoo shop and do homework for the august 9 class too
[23:10] houseguesfromhell: how is jeffie doing?
[23:10] modgirllisa: phone got disconnected
[23:10] houseguesfromhell: his?
[23:10] modgirllisa: so i don’t know
[23:10] modgirllisa: yah his
[23:10] houseguesfromhell: awww.. cell or home?
[23:10] modgirllisa: apparently jeremy is telling him he paid the bil
[23:10] modgirllisa: home
[23:10] houseguesfromhell: does his cell phone still work?
[23:11] modgirllisa: barely
[23:11] modgirllisa: he needs to get it replaced by sprint
[23:11] modgirllisa: and we’ve been trying to work that out but he’s working afternoons still
[23:11] modgirllisa: so i never see him
[23:11] houseguesfromhell: awww
[23:12] houseguesfromhell: so I have a situation that I am dealing with and I could use your advise
[23:12] houseguesfromhell: do you have time?
[23:13] modgirllisa: sure
[23:13] modgirllisa: go for it baby!
[23:13] houseguesfromhell: ok.. so there was this guy that we worked with at ASI named Tyrone Lockridge. Black guy.. very femine.. do you remember him?
[23:13] modgirllisa: um, nope.
[23:14] houseguesfromhell: ok.. well..
[23:14] houseguesfromhell: he and I became pretty close friends. We went to Chicago one day together and we used to hang out a lot…..
[23:14] modgirllisa: k
[23:14] houseguesfromhell: he says he had a crush on me.. I was very comfortable with him cause I thought he was gay and just didn’t know it yet.
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: so.. one of the movies we saw together was Mo’ Better Blues..
[23:15] modgirllisa: wait he says he has a crush on you NOW?
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: no
[23:15] modgirllisa: kay
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: so that movies was on the other night and it made me think of him …
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: so I looked him up.
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: I found him
[23:15] houseguesfromhell: he is gay.. but in denial
[23:16] houseguesfromhell: like he says “Im not gay…” and then a couple of sentences later “When I was with Tracy (a guy) for 7 years…”… and he is trying to say that he was with Tracy and will never be with another man.. Ok .. Whatever dude.
[23:16] houseguesfromhell: …
[23:16] modgirllisa: Paul was like that.
[23:16] houseguesfromhell: Ok.. so he was going through some stuff at home.. and I wanted to see him.. so I invtied him to come down here and visit….
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: so he is here
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: and we are not getting along
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: like way worse than you and me in June kind of not getting along
[23:17] modgirllisa: woah
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: he is supposed to be here until sunday
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: today is only tuesday.
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: he is driving me crazy…
[23:17] houseguesfromhell: so let me tell you some of the stuff that is getting me
[23:18] houseguesfromhell: so.. he is the guy who is messing with that author that I told you about… (and yet he is not gay).. and he told lynn that he would not be with him unless he was well compensated financially (whore).. so he is basically just trying to whore his way through life..
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: but you aren’t supoosed to do that with friends!!
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: not with people you are not trying to sleep with!!
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: he came down here with $5
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: five dollars
[23:19] modgirllisa: you’re kidding
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: for a week long trip
[23:19] modgirllisa: how did he get down there?
[23:19] houseguesfromhell: I bought his bus ticket cause it was cheap
[23:20] houseguesfromhell: and its not so much that I am paying for everything.. cause you know me with paying.. but its like he came down here expecting that and he is trying to get us to do all this stuff that he doesn’t have to pay for cause he is expecting me to pay for it!!
[23:20] modgirllisa: Why don’t you buy his bus ticket back home?
[23:21] modgirllisa: i mean, this is unlike you
[23:21] modgirllisa: really.
[23:21] houseguesfromhell: and he is approaching it like I am a gay guy he is trying to sleep with like “take me here” and “take me there” kind of thing
[23:21] houseguesfromhell: ok.. here is why.. and this is a preliminary reason.. not a final reason
[23:22] houseguesfromhell: we had a blow up tonight.. and I will tell you about.. but because of what he did afterward.. that I kind of feel like I partially want to “torture” him by keeping him here and not knowing when he is going home.. and.. if I send him home before he asks to be sent home than he is goign to view that he won and he got the best of me
[23:23] houseguesfromhell: now.. listen to what happened
[23:23] houseguesfromhell: I plugged in my cell phone cause it was dead
[23:23] houseguesfromhell: about an hour or so later he said “Is your phone done charging?”
[23:23] houseguesfromhell: I said “I don’t know”
[23:24] houseguesfromhell: He went over to the phone.. unplugged it and carried it over to the sofa..
[23:24] houseguesfromhell: I said.. “did you have to unplug it? It messes up the battery life if you don’t let it charge completely. You can make a call with it plugged in.”
[23:24] houseguesfromhell: that is when he flipped..
[23:25] houseguesfromhell: he said “You knew I wanted to use the phone. Why didn’t you tell me that when I asked you if I could use the phone?”
[23:25] houseguesfromhell: I said.. you didn’t ask me if you could use the phone.. you asked if it was done charging.
[23:27] modgirllisa: How long has it been since you’ve seen him?
[23:27] houseguesfromhell: ok.. hold on
[23:34] modgirllisa: shell?
[23:34] houseguesfromhell: hold on im on the phone with jeff
[23:34] modgirllisa: my brother?
[23:34] houseguesfromhell: yes
[23:39] houseguesfromhell: ok.. im back
[23:40] houseguesfromhell: so anyway.. that is when he flipped.. he was like.. why are you being so literal? Why is everything that I said examined word for word and analyzed?
[23:40] houseguesfromhell: before I could come out of my mouth with a question on what he was talking about he continues to go off about how uncomfortable I have made him since he showed up and how he is out of his element and that I am taking advantage of him
[23:40] houseguesfromhell: 12 years
[23:42] modgirllisa: So let me get this straight, you haven’t seen him in 12 years let alone talk to him and you invited him down to see you in Cincy with you paying the bus fare. He shows up with five bucks and a: you are surprised that he wants to take advantage of you and b: you want to keep him there because you want to torture him?
[23:43] modgirllisa: If that is all true, are you fucking insane?
[23:44] houseguesfromhell: so.. he went outside like he was going to smoke a cigarette. but didn’t have any as he was trying to quite smoking.. and was out there just talking shit about me.. right on my own porch.. like.. “Oh no you are not making me uncomfortable all these miles away from home. You do not appreciate the fact that I am here. You are talking to me like a 10 year old child and you take everyting so literally. This is ridiculous and I have never experienced anything so horrible in my entire life.”
[23:45] houseguesfromhell: well.. your paraphrasing makes it sound a little different than how I said it…
[23:45] houseguesfromhell: but you are right
[23:45] modgirllisa: get off the computer
[23:46] modgirllisa: tell his ungrateful ass he is going back on the first bus back tomororw
[23:46] houseguesfromhell: huh?
[23:46] houseguesfromhell: jeff said.. stop calling him he is goign to call you on your cell phone
[23:46] houseguesfromhell: ok?
[23:46] modgirllisa: um
[23:46] modgirllisa: i’m not calling him
[23:46] modgirllisa: and my cell phone is dead
[23:47] houseguesfromhell: is your house phone buys?
[23:47] modgirllisa: nope
[23:47] houseguesfromhell: busy*?
[23:47] modgirllisa: i just turned the phone on and off
[23:47] houseguesfromhell: he is trying to call you on your house phone and said its a busy signal
[23:47] modgirllisa: see above
[23:47] houseguesfromhell: why did you tell me to get off the computer?
[23:48] houseguesfromhell: the bus schedule is not convenient for me tomorrow.. its 545 am and 1010 am
[23:49] modgirllisa: it’s not convient with you
[23:49] modgirllisa: you know, you really take the cake
[23:50] houseguesfromhell: why shouldl I wake up at 330 in the morning or leave work to take his ass?
[23:50] modgirllisa: gee
[23:50] modgirllisa: i wonder
[23:50] modgirllisa: so he’s not around to further irriate you and take advantage of you?
[23:53] houseguesfromhell: i need to think about the best way to solve this
[23:53] houseguesfromhell: Im gonna head off to bed
[23:53] houseguesfromhell: I have to work at 8 tomrrow
[23:54] houseguesfromhell: ok?
[23:54] modgirllisa: sorry
[23:54] modgirllisa: trillian got caught up
[23:54] modgirllisa: fine.
[23:55] houseguesfromhell: ok.. i will talk to you tomorrow
So then my brother calls me back finally (on his cell) and because his house phone got disco’d (the roommate not paying on it you see) and he wants me to pay one of his bills for him online. Because he is dyslexic, he can’t tell the difference between a few letters and gets pissed at ME because he can’t fucking read. I get into the site and pay his fucking bill for him (out of his pocket not mine) and I tell him of an opportunity that grahamwest was interested in with him for some future work. ANYWAY, i said “Um, Jeff, they don’t shut the phone off after a single month of not paying the bill, and if he paid it a week ago they got he money already. Why don’t you get on Jeremy’s ass about why he isn’t paying the bills as you two share an apartment.” ANd he said “Jeremy is a grown ass man and can take care of himself.” I’m like WTF? HELLO! ANd he starts ranting and raging about my bill paying with my ex paul, um, our phone was never dico’s honey and we made over six figures combined. I got so pissed i slammed down the phone.
Now i’m angrily chewing on a straw.

And he continues

Background info, I live in a ‘burb of Grand Rapids, called Wyoming, not the state OF wyoming 😉 Anyways, I ignored him and got ready for literacy training and left and came home to find the following:
[16:51] dreamcatchermja: I’m sorry if offended you. Are you ok
[16:56] dreamcatchermja: So what kinds of things spark your interest?
[17:03] dreamcatchermja: I would like know more about you and your interest
[17:10] dreamcatchermja: So tell me something about you? What makes you so fun?

I should start a page on Yahoo shannigans

[16:13] dreamcatchermja: Hello There, My name is Michael. I am from Wyoming. I am a Working Chef but I am a Double-major in Accounting and Business Management at Davenport University
[16:38] modgirllisa: hello.
[16:39] dreamcatchermja: Hello
[16:39] dreamcatchermja: How are you today?
[16:40] modgirllisa: just peachy
[16:40] dreamcatchermja: So where are you at now?
[16:40] modgirllisa: in my apartment
[16:41] dreamcatchermja: In G.R.
[16:41] modgirllisa: yes
[16:41] dreamcatchermja: What’s your name?
[16:41] modgirllisa: Lisa
[16:42] dreamcatchermja: Hello Lisa
[16:42] dreamcatchermja: So what would you like to know about me
[16:42] modgirllisa: Nothing.
[16:42] dreamcatchermja: Why?
[16:42] modgirllisa: Because you sound boring.
[16:43] dreamcatchermja: Whatever
[16:43] dreamcatchermja: I like to go to concerts, the beach, and I have jump off a bridge and more
[16:43] modgirllisa: That’s nice.
[16:43] modgirllisa: bye now.
[16:44] dreamcatchermja: I have played chicken with trains and I used to swim in Thunderstorms in Lake Michigan
[16:44] dreamcatchermja: I am Risk Taker so call me “Boring.”
[16:44] modgirllisa: First off, playing chicken with trains and swimming in thunderstorms is not being ‘edgy’ it’s being stupid
[16:44] dreamcatchermja: So you think you are a challenge or what?
[16:44] modgirllisa: and you are boring.
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: I don’t think so.
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: That is when I was young
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: Now I am working hard to have the finer things in life
[16:45] dreamcatchermja: I am going to own several mall businesses
[16:46] dreamcatchermja: So what do you for a living?
[16:47] dreamcatchermja: So what do you for fun?
[16:48] dreamcatchermja: I like to go to thh Beach, play sports, and dance

well, color me shocked

Paul just called.
The number on the caller id came up as Colorado and I had no idea who the hell that was, so like a good single girl, I let the phone go to voicemail. And then I heard Paul’s voice come out on the machine and i was well, shocked. I never ever expected him to call me. I figured if anything, I’d see him around campus, you know how wifey is. but I invited him out this week and he said yes, so we’ll see.
huh.
go figure.

um, okay.

images_053

while working on modgirl.net, i was pursuing my gallery looking for an image of me to use on my page and found this attached here:
It’s written from an ex-coworker, and you know, sure!
From: Alby (Jul 22, 2003 04:53 PDT)
Can Heaven Wait Quarter after seven, got a phone call Telling me to get here quick Said your girl is in a bad situation They don’t know if she’s gonna make it As I hurry to be by her side I ask a thousand times, why oh why There’s no rhyme or reason in my life With you lying here this way I’d give anything just to trade places with you So I’m begging heaven down on my knees To help you make it through Tell me can heaven wait Can heaven wait just one more night Tell me what it’s gonna take To keep you with me in my life Giving up the shame of my other life Now I’m seeing things in a whole new light Lord, I vow to change if you just make it right Can heaven wait one night Thinking back on times that I’ve wasted I should have cherished every day All the different flavors that I tasted Can’t compare to you, no way As I reminisce by your side Tears of guilt are streaming from my eyes All the things I did that weren’t right Wish I could apologize I’d give anything if I could trade places with you So I’m beggin’ heaven down on my knees To help you make it through I’m gonna stop the world, reverse the time Do whatever it takes to keep you alive Heaven has to wait one more day Baby, take my breath so you can breathe I need you here so don’t you leave Heaven has to wait