mom’s birthday

Today is my mom’s 57th birthday.
I got a few emails from friends of the family asking if I was gonna call her and I haven’t made up my mind yet. Last time I spoke to her, which was a week ago, I started crying after the short 10 minute call. I’m sure my brother will call her. Hell, she’s found Jesus™ now, so what does she need me for?
Ufie dotted — again
Several weeks ago, my cohort Thyla and I put together a page simply called Carbonated Borscht for the Evil Geek’s Soul that parodied some funny stuff. It got mentioned on the news feature of UserFriendly and actually got /.’d. This week, Godmoma put together a page called Illiads Harem.
I have no idea what’s going through Godmoma’s head. 🙂
So, any rate, I’ve been Ufie Dotted — again. Got over 500 unique hits yesterday. Woo. That surprised me 🙂 So I felt I must update. heh.
Blatant Promotion
My buddy and yours, Mike Norton recently finished work on his new comic The Waiting Place. I got to see the um, rough draft of it when I was in Mayumphis in July. The story is really cool and the drawing is incredible. Mike is obviously, ultra excited about this.
Since I’ve met Mike back in May, he’s helped influenced my non-comic reading butt into reading comics. Now i’m addicted to Strangers in Paradise and have been looking at other comics as well — namely ones that Mike and other people have recommended.
It goes without saying I was completely detached from the fact of just how many people read comics these days. It’s almost as bad as the damn Trekkies. 🙂
Regardless, Mike came to me and asked me to promote his work since I have gotten a ton of people to read SIP and they all adore it. So PLEASE PLEASE go support a young starving artist before Mike makes me buy 15000 copies!
Speaking of comics though, I’ve been neglecting my own habits. I’m only up to early Vol 3 in SIP and haven’t had a chance to catch up. People have been offering new comics left and right and I’m going insane with the divulge of offers. Calm down people, after i move and get settled in, i’ll start my addiction back up again.
Lisa-Cross-America ’99
Well it’s been official for awhile, but you all know I’m leaving the greater Bay Area in early October.
My numwitted ex-fiancee Danny has recently informed me that he cannot drive with me and thusly I’m doing it alone. I had a brief panic attack (like ohmygodwhatifigetcaughtwithaflattireinbfetexas) — but after a minute or 100, I calmed down and realized that spending four days alone, in my car, could be a good thing (you know they say if you keep repeating something, it just might come true).
I’ve been mapping out my itinerary and it looks like i’m driving south to SoCal and then straight across crossing through NM, AZ, TX, OK, etc on my way to Atlanta. What’s in Atlanta? Why Atlanta Linux Showcase my dears. There will be the BIGGEST party that side of the Mississippi for geeks. I hit LWE, now it’s on to ALS.
I think it’ll be cool though. I will have my laptop, cell phone and all my credit cards. I will be updating on the road as I plan on spending about four days driving — maybe less depending on my speed. heh. I might end up in Atlanta on Monday night. Who knows? Anyway, I’ve been attempting to coordinate with friends about crashing at their place on the way across. So, I’ll be okay. Just look for the black Saturn with LNX and LinuxGurven stickers plastered all over it doing 80 and you’ll find me.
I realize that driving cross country is something that I’ve been dreaming about for years. I wanted the opportunity to see this great land we call home before I flee this white trashy country and go to Europe. What I can’t understand, is that with so much time available for me to do it, why I’m planning on taking a more direct route and not seeing the country. My friend James, who drove solo from SF -> Gainesville FL was telling me about the pit stops he made when he drove across — which he did twice. Not many people get the chance to see this wonderful country of ours and I’m worrying about all the extra time I’ll have.
My favorite catch phrase recently has been “But I worry”. It’s driving me insane.
I’m gonna end up in Virginia, where Shelly already has our apartment that she’s cohabitating with her bf. Everything is set into place. On one hand, I’m ultra excited about doing the move. On the other hand, I’m afraid of falling on my face.
This should be very interesting.

lisa the geek

As many of you probably know, I recently acquired a Macintosh. I know I know, no — hell hasn’t frozen over. Basically what happened was that in the process of doing Y2k inventory, all the “junk” machines such as the production machine I was doing IEAK on, were not being included and were going to be sold off. I bought a Macintosh Quadra, 17 inch monitor, CD-ROM reader/writer (SCSI) and an external SCSI drive for, get this 100 bucks!. I’ve been spending all weekend getting it hooked up. The only fucked up part is that it’s a 68k Mac and NOT a power PC. gash. But anyway, you would be surprised how much software is still available for the 68k Mac. So I’m sitting here, doing the chronicles on my Mac (named imhotep) while my linux box plays Ned’s Atomic Dustbin God Fodder.
This so owns.
See, this was part of the problem. Mainly I wanted to have two boxen: One would run linux of some distro (now it’s Mandrake aka RedHat on crack) and some sort of gui based OS. The problem was that with Linux, many of what I use and do, there is nothing out available for it. I tried doing TLC on a linux boxen and lemme tell you, it was not easy. Mainly the thing is my spelling (very important of course) sucks major ass — and I needed a spell checker. There was NO getting around that. The only thing I found for linux was iSpell, which is okay but it kept saving the files to /home/lisa/temp — which was pissing me off. It would save the files as “12aksjdhf.tmp”. Then doing a hunt and peck looking to see which file was what with pico ain’t my idea of fun. I needed something that was literally easy, I could run my lame ass apps (like Aol/IM/ICQ/Eudora) and where i could also fuck around in linux. I wanted best of both worlds. heh.
Anyway, the problem with running solely Linux was the fact that half of my hardware wasn’t running. We are talking about a second generation Sony Vaio (200mhz) which I had pimped out with 12gig’s and 64mb of ram and a PHAT 56k modem. heh. Anyway! Moving right along, sound didn’t work — and with no sound when lisa is working makes for a very unhappy lisa. Everyone and their brother tried to help me out — nothing was working. It was some sort of legacy issue — that and PnP of course. But, thanks gods for Justin. I walked away from my comp the other day and he sat down, reinstalled Mandrake, got ipchains working, setup the firewall AND got it so that my sound was working. So now I’m jamming to Ned’s and typing on mah mac. 🙂
This rocks.
ph33r my elitness
grey cell green
So, nearly 10 days ago when i wrote my last missive, shit has been fucked up all around. My car got towed and I owed the City of SF 600 bucks to get it out of impound. I’ve been playing “Am I getting fired today?” at work (very long story — and no I’m not). I’ve been uber depressed. Been walking around listening to nothing but Front242/FrontLine Assembly/KMFDM — anything industrial/techno/gothic based. Spending too much time being really down on myself. I wish I had something specific to pinpoint as to WHY I’m feeling like shit — I mean — depression is coming. I knew when I went out and bought “raven mist” hair color and painted my nails “seduction” (aka blood red). I know shit is fucked up all over — and it didn’t seem to get better. I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t know how to handle it. As obvious by Justin shaking me on the corner of 2nd and Stillmen when my car got towed. I’m slowly going INSANE. People are commenting left and right to me that they haven’t quite “seen” me like this in eons — and I know what it signifies. The next couple of months are going to be ultra-crucial. I’m moving to VA on October 7thish, I’m going to Atlanta, I’m moving to a new state — starting a whole new life. I should be FUCKING happy and I’m not. I keep degrading myself down to these pitiful little holes of hell and it’s driving me mad. I just wanted to be happy — and I think that everyone wants that as well. But I’m finding that all my old “things” that I was so angry at are resurfacing. Read anything before TLC came on-line in July of 1998 — you’ll see what I mean. Many of it still seems to be tripe to me — but a lot of echoes how I feel right now.
My mom is joining a convent soon. How quaint.
I’ve been trying to write a TLC for days now — but finding it harder and harder to do so.
I don’t know what’s happening to me.
Paul said I need to face my fears and only then will I be free.
I just fear some major heavy ultra-rejection.
I don’t know how strong I’m supposed to be and how much stronger I need to keep being. Sometimes I just want to die. I won’t lie to you. I’ve been calling the music I’ve been listening to “Slit Your Wrist” music. I’m not kidding. Do a search for Front 242 lyrics for the album “Off” — you’ll see exactly what I mean. I’ve been walking around going mumbling “just be myself, can i just be myself”.
I told someone 30 was my cut-off point. If I don’t accomplish a lot of what I want to do before I’m 30 — I’m gone. Now before you start going “Um, Lisa, that is SUCH a cry for help” and calling your local suicide hotline, don’t bother. 98% chance that I won’t off myself (I made a funny!). Anyone who has known me for years that these things pass with time and I’m never serious — however, I know that many of us feel, that from time to time, life isn’t worth living. And sometimes I’m happy that I made it through my first suicide attempt 10 years ago, and other times I wish I would have died. But that is neither here nor there. I’m just telling you how it is folks, that is why you are here.
I will make no illusions that I’m being serious. For a few days, i was dead serious. But, I have (and will always know) that this passes with time. Being bipolar manic depressive isn’t cool kids. It sucks major ass. Lemme tell you.
But things are looking up. I’m removing myself from one situation and starting anew life. I’m really digging someone I’ve been digging for 6 months and he’s mein gott (g). I had to say it to taunt him.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, there is so much, that you as a general public are not aware of. So much lies behind me then what meets the eye. Some people are not comfortable with knowing THAT MUCH about me — others want to own my soul. I give what I can — when I can. I give to those I feel deserve it and when I feel they need to have it. It’s not a game — it’s my life.
i’ve always been strong — and I’ve always attempted to make some sort of peace within my life. I’ve always strived to be the VERY FUCKING BEST that I can be. And that threatens people — and it’s harmful to others. My megalomania can be daunting. Fuck, I just created a new IM name: LishaIsGod. heh. Cos, I am god. this is my fucking world and I’m letting you enjoy it. If you piss me off, nothing a little DENY won’t work magic on.
I’m rambling.
Someone once asked me long ago the purpose of this site. I’ve been on slashdot, I’ve been linked a time or five from UserFriendlys website — People know of me. I’m not some nameless person in the crowd (well — heh). I am someone.
And see, in some sick twist of fate, this is NOT what I wanted. I never wanted to be known as se7en’s exfuck (which, two years later, still fucking haunts my ass), or anything other than myself. This website was purposely for my own purposes — I write to feel better. I write to create. I write to look back and laugh at my own stupidity or my own wisdom. You, the general public, just think I rock on with my frock on. And that’s okay too. I’ve created new identities for myself and I’ll keep creating till one fits who I am. Things are looking up. I’m hopeful, I’m optimistic, I’m moving on up (to the east side!).
I’m okay — really.
I’m telling you all this now because how could I not tell you. For over a year now, my life has been an open book Many people probably know WAY more about me then they want to know — but, that’s okay. I’m here and I’m still kicking and screaming and that says something. I’ve always known that if I was going to off myself, I would have finished the job that I started 10 years ago. But, I know that many things are going to happen, it does get easier and I have a 6’6 sadistic motherfucker waiting for me in Atlanta.
Things aren’t what they always appear to be — and I know that. And I’m rational enough to know that only I can control my fate (I won’t tell you WHY I’m subscribed to getting my daily horoscope, i can cos it’s cool) and i only can make the decisions to make my life better. For the first time, in a very very long time, I feel more confident in all my abilities than I have for a long time.
And what does lisa do when she’s down?
She goes out and buys new shoes of course!
And can someone PLEASE explain to me why the fuck I can’t find bra’s in size 36Ds? It’s not like I’m that big — jesus. I found bras in 36DDs but not single Ds. Sunofabitch.
I’m tired now. Carolyn (Cathleen’s sister who is staying with us temporarily) and I wear the same shoe size. We are going out this weekend
looking for bitchboots (imagine — 5-6 inch platform, knee high leather boots). Woo doggie. I can’t wait.
I tired and I go nini.
happy thoughts
Today I actually left the office and sat in SouthPark and ate a burrito from Pepitos as I enjoyed the beautiful summer weather and read Henry Miller. Regardless of the crap that has been occurring — doing the little things really makes me glad to be fucking alive.

i sold my soul for a playstation

i don’t know how it started, but lately i’ve been going on and on about playstation (psx) and tekken. this spurned a debate about gaming in Userfriendly, when one of the channel regulars said that for “favors” i could have his souped up psx plus 20 games.
Since these “favors” weren’t detailed, i bugged the person when i got privately messaged by someone else that said they would send me a “new” playstation (minus games) for FREE! as long as I didn’t prostitute myself out. He wanted me to keep my self-respect in check, he stated.
While the second person has met me and can testify to my hotness, i was a bit amused (and tempted) to take up on his offer. I told him that thanks for the kind offer, but I could not take such a gift under those kind of circumstances, but that i appreciated the offer regardless.
this brought a fury of um, response from someone close to my heart.
later on, the conversation dated back to older gaming stations and i started going on about the Atari 7800.
Remember those things? They must have come out in way early 80s (i’m thinking 82-83) and basically were emulations of the arcade style games (graphics and all).
I loved my 7800. I kept it up until we moved to grand rapids in 1985 and beyond as we had played frogger, q*bert, pacman like mother fuckers. I once topped pac man at either over a million or 10 million. I forget which, but I remember taking a picture of the screen when I did so (and I still have that pic!).
Another channel regular, Gruuk, came up with a link to ebay that showed that there were 7800s FOR SALE! WOAH!
The current price on one was out of my league (around 150 bucks) but another one (and this one HAD q*bert) was in my price range.
I, of course, bidded on a piece of my childhood.
This spurned off other seeking. I bidded on a rare Afghan Whigs vinyl as well as the ultra-rare JudyBats cd “When Souther Bells,” which I have been looking for forever.
Add this up to the cd’s i bought of Ned’s Atomic Dustbin God Fodder, Bauhaus 1979-1983 Vol 1 and Swing The Heartache: BBC Sessions. I also purchased Sister of Mercy’s Vision Thing.
And I coaxed (cajoled? begged? pleaded? batted my eyelashes?) Paul to spring a whopping 6 bucks on a TI 99/4A. This was my FIRST computer ever. I learned how to program BASIC on it.
God, I got wet just thinking about it. An Atari 7800 and a TI-99/4A!!!
god is an alcove
i completely and totally understand that i’m regressing into my childhood.
First it was the obsession over old computer equipment and it’s also been music.
For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been slowly hunting down music from my youth.
Bands like Charlatans UK, The Stone Roses, Happy Mondays just to name a few bands (and including the ones listed above that I bought cd’s for). I’ve been jamming to Spinner recently (and getting other people hooked on it. the ModernMix and Alt.90s channels 0wnz).
i’ve been on the hunt for MP3s that remind me of bands that I love to listen to. That whole Manchester sound that supposedly died in the early 90s. Brit Rock, with a dash of techno/industrial thrown in. Paul ripped Bauhaus’ “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” and I’ve been bopping around going “undead undead undead.” One thing I will say about Paul, since I’ve met him on-line, my cd purchasing has increased tenfold as he loves the same fucked up bands as I do. Also, CdNow has a “similar artists” info for all the bands. So I’ve been reading those and going “OH YEAH! I remember them!!” and going “damn I need to stop spending the dough.”
Speaking of which, i got tickets to see VIOLET FEMMES AT THE FILMORE!
this week has been owning so hard.
i waited for the joke
Amongst other neat-o things is that Shelly got our apartment. She moves in on August 28th. I got the phone lines turned on. I got a job OFFER from the dot commie people. I have an interview with the Washington Post.
my shit, definitely does NOT stink.
let’s see, emotionally i’m exhausted. this week decided to be the week from hell with people mind fucking left and right, breakups, declarations and other lovely things. i’ve been backing off left and right about this. i can’t deal with it and it’s not worth dealing with.
mike “I can’t call a girl cos she’ll think i’m paranoid” norton
finally sent me the signed SIP books AND the picture he drew of me (mike, not Terry Moore).
chit chat
As you know, I’ve made it pretty obvious how to contact me. Click on the link in the top nav bar for “contact” and everyplace that I hang out at is listed. However, someone suggested that I set up a bulletin board for discussing my chronicles. You can do so by going to all that and a bag of chips club on yahoo!. It’s been up since July 3rd and it’s somewhat populated. Go! Now! Discuss my interpretation of something or another! 🙂
the shaft theme is playing.
time for bed!

i’ve been /’d

Thyla and I worked on a secret project that ended up on slashdot (news for nerds. stuff that matters.). How cool is that? 🙂
Illiad (writer/cartoonist for UserFriendly) was so impressed, he is putting us up on the daily static. now is that rad or what:)
geeks on the loose (or how UserFriendly conquered San Jose)
Now that Linux World Expo has come and gone, my head has stopped hurting and I have worked through my hangover, so it’s safe to talk about LWE.
Linux World Expo, is in which all things that are Linux, was shown to the general public. Seminars on Linux security, training and installation was yours for a low low price of 300 dollars. I on the other hand am a cheap wench, and got the free exhibitors only pass and spent time schmoozing and yucking it up with all the other Ufies.
Where to begin, where to begin.
Basically, if it were not for Linus’ keynote speech Tuesday afternoon, i may not have learned /anything/. While there were many many new cool things (such as VA Systemspre-installed linux machines and Linnea, the embedded Linux hardware), I unfortunately spent much of my time getting to know all the lovely people from Userfriendly as well as drinking.
Did I mention drinking?
It started at Pizza A-Go-Go Tuesday afternoon and didn’t stop until after we left the IDG Open Book party nearly 12 hours later. Slashdot (along with Andover) hosted the “Get Sloshed with Slashdot” party and with free Guinness and Harps abound (which makes for PERFECT Black/Tans). I think it’s best that I just list the more interesting of the events:

  • Signing Iambe’s left boob “Lisha was here” at the UF booth
  • Flashing Iambe in front of everyone at the UF Booth
  • Getting hugged by Illiad (he gives the best hugs!)
  • doing the wave before Linus’ keynote.
  • doing the conga at the get sloshed with /. party
  • Noting that geeks cannot:
    • dance
    • tell jokes
    • approach girls
  • being chased around the courtyard by arcterex
  • swapping email addresses with some guy (now THATS geek luv in the 90’s!)
  • jumping up onto a cement wall, going OVER the wall and landing on my head. *ouch* I flashed all of SJ in the process. (forgot i was wearing a skirt). Much ado about nothing as I stumbled up with some kind Ufie males help and we sauntered off to the IDG Open-book party.
  • Ice, telephone cords and my bra bring new meaning.
  • Standing on the corner swapping spit with various Ufies left and right. (names will not be given to protect the innocent)
  • alpha testing
  • being “sold” to Moe for a carton of GPC’s
  • being sold again to another Ufie for a 2 liter of coke and strawberry charleston chew (me thinks my pimp is being to “generous” with my services)
  • Flirting with a greg dulli look alike (he has a thing for tall leggy brunettes)

This was just Tuesday night, by the way. 
All and all a good time was had by all. Hugs and kisses went around to everyone as we all cried because of the friendships that were instantly formed and the bondage that was increased threefold by our presence.
I miss everyone very much. Looking forward to Atlanta Linux Showcase in October to see everyone and rile up Atlanta with our antics.
which brings me too —
moving on up
I finally made a fucking decision on where I’m moving to in Virginia.
After a marathon long conversation with my friend Graham (British, tall and a geek *drool*) we started out with me bitching and ranting about making a decision and ended up with him talking me through installing WindowMaker .60 (the poor machine couldn’t handle me not touching it for so long, i ended up wiping it and installing Mandrake Linux). However, with him (as it is for me) school is a big factor in this and as Old Dominion University already gave me the green light on attending, which way was I supposed to go?
Obviously up. many many many people have been subjected to my wild mood swings as it were as i couldn’t, for the life of me, make a concrete decision. Iambe almost had me half moved to Vancouver, until the powers that be (namely my own conscious) decided that I had to go to Virginia.
There are many many many reasons why I choose Virginia, but, regardless of it all, the main one is my absolute need to be in the eastern time zone again. I have no idea /why/ this is to be so, but, even though I got accepted to many other fine institutions across the country, ODU and Virginia (and not forgetting my best friend is whom I’m going to be bunking with).
The Lisa Caravan pulls out of Oakland on October 8th (roughly) and landing in Atlanta on the 12th. There I will meet up with other Ufies as we prepare to party like it’s 1999 (wait! it is 1999!!) for ALS. I’m also going to be meeting someone very special in Atlanta (i’ll be bringing the whipped cream and cellophane for sure) and hopefully for once things will go right.
but this is me we are talking about here so probably not.
however, i’m very confident that i’ll see as much of ALS as I did LWE.
and this will be a good thing.
mein inneres gehört ihnen immer.
nicht überhaupt vergessen sie das.
ich leibe dich.

i keep coming back

on July 16th 1998, i had made the decision while at work one day to start doing an on-line journal. this wasn’t anything really new to me, other than the fact that i had been writing and posting my journals on and off for about 3 years before that. however, i never had any continuity or any real schedule — but it was time to change that.
i had been browsing the web on and off and finding similar sites and decided i could indeed write not only better but more productive than those who were doing it already.
on that day, i sat down and wrote my first entry and thusly the lisa chronicles were born.
in that year, i’ve shared a lot with those who have come here. the site initially was getting about 25 hits a day (normal for me back then when random people would find it) to over five times the traffic now. i started a counter later on that month and as you can see, nearly 15k worth of unique hits have hit my site. now i’m getting 5x the traffic along with nearly a 100 people subscribed to the mailing list as well. several hundred people eagerly await, daily, for any words or tidbits that i may dish up. sometimes i’ve been silent for a few weeks and others i’m posting several times a day.
my site has been recognized by other sites as being unique and one of a kind. and while people, in the “scene” had known about me for years via “simunye” and my exploits around the web, new people were coming and liking me for what was presented here and not for any past rumors that they may have heard. one night when i was in Memphis, mike and i were at taco bell. i had been drinking and was lollygagging around in the ‘stang, when i had commented “I will forever be known as an on-line diarist”. and then i had said it with such disdain and contempt. the next day, i got an invitation from The Unreal World to apply on being a member (and no, i haven’t heard back from them yet).
i suppose there are many worse things than being known as an on-line diariest. i could be a crackwhore, but i suppose that is beside the point. in the last year i’ve cried, bragged, loved, lost, took chances, became frustrated, just basically lived. in my own hindsight, i no longer read others journals and i no longer read my own. why? because in the past when i had become enamored of a site such as mine, it became a tossup of whether i was living my life or i was living through them. i started having memories of things i knew didn’t happen but my own involvement within that site made me think i did. Or maybe it was my split personality Sam who thought so, who knows.
Regardless, thank you.
Thank you for everything. The next year proves to be even more exciting as I’m finally getting my supple young ass off the west coast and move back east (confirmed and set for October). I love you guys, even if you are all just big big freaks.


My friend Dan (he’s a big freak) asked me one day to make a wav saying “You’ve got mail”. And so I did:
mmmmmmmm……you’ve got mail
mmmmmmmm……you’ve got oral
The second file was generated for Pawl, who also asked me to do the chorus to James Brown’s “Sex Machine”. That file won’t get put up.


I’ve been slacking, I know, however, taking a cue from several people, if you click on lisa above in the above nav bar, you’ll learn even more about me than you ever wanted to know. but it is slightly amusing.


Back in early July, I started a club on yahoo!. and it’s been pretty amusing. go join in the fray and sign up worship me some more — you know the usual stuff. i’m on as g0desslike. that shouldn’t surprise you.


and lastly, i’ve been thinking, with all the changing going on around here, the name of the site will no longer be “The Last Word: The Lisa Chronicles” but “Girl Extraordinary: The Lisa Chronicles”. And just where does the word “Girl Extraordinary” come from? Simple:
By Afghan Whigs
I know a girl, extraordinary
Suggested something, unsanitary

The rest of the words are located on the whigs site. What can I tell you, Greg Dulli is god. And that song is so me. So is “What Jail Is Like” from the album “Gentlemen”. If you are planning on getting any cds soon, I so highly recommend that one and 1965. I’ve converted so many people to Whigism. I own.


I will be at LinuxWorld Expo August 9-12th. I’ll be meeting a bunch of ufies as well as just hanging out. In October, I’ll be heading to the Linux Showcase in Atlanta, again hanging with Ufies. Y’all come and find me, kk?


And finally, in the spirit of the 1st Anniversary of The Lisa Chronicles, I was thinking of regging the domain name (xxx stipulating whatever TLD i choose: com, org or net) and using that for the basis of journals instead of Any ideas?Thoughts?
It’s time for a change, and while the nick Simunye will always be associated with me, it’s time for something new. hell, i need to pay for still, but that is another story 😀
i want feedback on this 🙂


And I’ll leave you with these words:
What Jail Is Like
By The Afghan Whigs (of the album Gentlemen)
I’ll warn you, if cornered, I’ll scratch my out of the pen
Wired, an animal, the claustrophobia begins
You think I’m scared of girls, well maybe but i’m not afraid of you
You want to scare me then you’ll cling to me no matter what i do
Tell you a secret, they shared a needle once or twice
i loved her, she loved me, we slept together a couple of times
you think i’m proud of this, well maybe but the shame you never lose
infatuated with a lunatic and cornered by the muse
and it goes down every night
this must be what jail is really like
and i will scratch my way out of this pen
lonely? maybe or maybe not at all
depends your idea your image your definition of a friend
if what your shoveling is company then I’d rather be alone
resentment always goes much further than it was supposed to go
ich liebe dich.
ihr inneres und mein inneres immer zusammen